Better...I hope...
Chris and I have talked. We talked about everything. The only thing that leaves me unsettled is his strong desire to go into the navy or military. I don't want that for myself. That is my worst fear. I am not strong enough for that. It would be my luck that he would get killed the first day of fucking training. I dont want to have to put myself at a risk for that kind of loss. Im not willing to risk losing my one and only for that. Im sorry. Call me unpatriotic, call me whatever, I salute those that are stronger than myself, but I wouldn't be able to do that. Ya Know?? So, yeah.
But we talked about his dishonesty. I think we have overcome alot. I know he and I have been to hell and back, and we have overcome soooo many obstacles in our relationship. I think that with all of the shit that he and I have endured has made us stronger as a whole. I feel stronger with him. Without him, however, I would not feel complete. I truly feel that he is my soul mate. I love Chris K. with all that is in me. He and I will stay strong with each other. He is my other half.
I think that the people in my life think that I will let them hurt me and not stand up for myself. I think that everyone seems to think that because everyone that I care for has hurt me, that they can do it to me too. But, because of people like Jason, Ross, Brandon, and Tristan, too...I have become much stronger. I love Chris K. with all that is in me. He and I will stay strong with each other. He is my other half. Because those guys hurt me...others around me think they can do the same or similar things to me and it have no repercussion. But, that, indeed, is not the case. I stand up for myself now, more than ever. And I dont take kindly to people who walk all over me or others for that matter.
Jason: Cheated on me, beat on me, lied to me, led me on, stole from me, and cheated me out of lots of money.
Ross: Lied to me, hurt me, "cheated" on me.
Brandon: Lied to me, led me on, planned on hurting me
Tristan: used me, lied to me
So, as you can see, I have had a hard time in the relationship area.
All of the male figures in my life have betrayed me and hurt me. My biological dad was and still is a coward, he ran off not long after my birth. My legal guardian (dad) decided to hit me and fight with me instead of trying to be a sensible adult. And the boyfriends...well you can read above and see that one. And Chris, of course, is no angel...but he has done a lot more things right than wrong. I think that the spot we are in now, is just a little bit of turbulence before we land. Ya know??
So yeah...
Im feeling better about everything. Not 100% better, but better. Not a whole lot better, but better, nonetheless. I think that is all that anyone could ask for.
Chris and I are in love. We are dedicated to each other and we will continue to be there for one another. Thats what love is all about.
But we talked about his dishonesty. I think we have overcome alot. I know he and I have been to hell and back, and we have overcome soooo many obstacles in our relationship. I think that with all of the shit that he and I have endured has made us stronger as a whole. I feel stronger with him. Without him, however, I would not feel complete. I truly feel that he is my soul mate. I love Chris K. with all that is in me. He and I will stay strong with each other. He is my other half.
I think that the people in my life think that I will let them hurt me and not stand up for myself. I think that everyone seems to think that because everyone that I care for has hurt me, that they can do it to me too. But, because of people like Jason, Ross, Brandon, and Tristan, too...I have become much stronger. I love Chris K. with all that is in me. He and I will stay strong with each other. He is my other half. Because those guys hurt me...others around me think they can do the same or similar things to me and it have no repercussion. But, that, indeed, is not the case. I stand up for myself now, more than ever. And I dont take kindly to people who walk all over me or others for that matter.
Jason: Cheated on me, beat on me, lied to me, led me on, stole from me, and cheated me out of lots of money.
Ross: Lied to me, hurt me, "cheated" on me.
Brandon: Lied to me, led me on, planned on hurting me
Tristan: used me, lied to me
So, as you can see, I have had a hard time in the relationship area.
All of the male figures in my life have betrayed me and hurt me. My biological dad was and still is a coward, he ran off not long after my birth. My legal guardian (dad) decided to hit me and fight with me instead of trying to be a sensible adult. And the boyfriends...well you can read above and see that one. And Chris, of course, is no angel...but he has done a lot more things right than wrong. I think that the spot we are in now, is just a little bit of turbulence before we land. Ya know??
So yeah...
Im feeling better about everything. Not 100% better, but better. Not a whole lot better, but better, nonetheless. I think that is all that anyone could ask for.
Chris and I are in love. We are dedicated to each other and we will continue to be there for one another. Thats what love is all about.