I love you, nii-san. I love you more than Kaa-san. I love you more than Sephiroth wants your ass.
a/n
This fic is for a lot of people. For risax (who discusses can-can dancing Sephiroth and Sephiroth/Cloud phonecalls with me, which were the CATALYST that began this fic) amd farfello, my FF-AC CRACK SUBS watching companions, whom I can wail KAA-SAN at and hide behind, and to whom I can repeat DIRGE OF CEREBERUS when the CONSTANT REPETITION begins to WORK TOO WELL ON ME. IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD ♥ THEN I WILL FIGHT YOUR WAR. For firestorm717, who SENT me said crack subs in the first place, and who is part of the reason this fic even exists, because she was AC PARODY CRACK? XD And for mildlyinsane, who also encourages me to post fic, AND YAY YOU'RE BACK! AND FOR burnein, who really does write the BEST FF-AC parody fic.
AND I THINK IT IS DUE TO risax for that I have WEIRD FIC ideas that involve Kadaj turning into SEPHIROTH and whispering telling Cloud, "THIS IS OUR REUNION".
*twitches*
*sobs at lacewood* I WAS UP TIL 4.30AM LAST NIGHT RESEARCHING THE SWORDS OF FF-AC. There are very NICE Thai and Korean sites dedicated to analysis of ALL OF CLOUD'S SWORDS. Cries. When the Cloud's swords/Kadaj's swords/Sephiroth's sword sword p0rn turns up, IT WILL BE FOR YOU. CRIES. If I were to write Bleach swordp0rn! it would SO be Ichigo/Byakuya. AND INVOLVE LOTS OF BANKAI. xD
ff-ac crack!fic. kadaj/cloud. well, kadaj wishes, at any rate.
If a phone rings in Midgar and no one picks it up, does it make a noise?
"Nii-san?"
The voice was high, breathy, and far too familiar.
Also, it had more desperation in it than a chocobo farm had chocobos.
"... Kadaj. This is the twelfth time tonight."
"I know, Nii-san, but I have to tell you something!"
"... What is it this time, Kadaj?"
"I love you, nii-san. More than Kaa-san!"
"Kadaj, go to sleep -"
"I love you more than Sephiroth wants your ass! I love you more than that redhead loves shooting his mouth off. More than that grabby girl likes materia! More than Vincent likes his dress! I mean, his cape!"
"I -"
"I love you more than you need a new hairstyle! I love you more than Yazoo likes washing his hair! Or his own reflection! More than Loz likes polishing his gun! And Nii-san, I can be Sephiroth TOO -"
Cloud had been through this before, and there was only one way he could get this... brother... to stop.
"...I... I love you. Too. Kadaj. Now put down the phone."
Off the hook at last, he looked up to meet Tifa's knowing smile.
"Your brother's had too much materia again, hasn't he."
and because risax and I were discussing Blood+, and I said the art looked like it was about calm tea-drinking, she said: "I think we should fight... but this tea is too damned good. let's do it tomorrow instead." So, well, what you're going to see next, it was made for risax. SHE GOT ME INTO THIS HAGI THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Made for risax as, well, I didn't want to do my Company Law tutorial, AND SHE GOT ME INTO THIS HAGI THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
