An Afternoon Lesson, Part Three

[aedalena]

Okay, I've resigned myself to the fact that endless tweaking will not, in this case, do much more good. Sorry for the wait; I blame my eternal discomfort at working with emotionally-charged scenes. (One reason writing scenes with Harry and Salazar can take forever. *grumbles*)

Title: An Afternoon Lesson (Part Three)
Rating: somewhere between PG

Comments

[miso_licious]

"I think the only thing sadder than Harry's lack of anyone who cares that deeply for him is how hard he tries to convince himself that he doesn't care."

Ah. Yes. That IS worse.. :D

"In a way, doing so only ensured that no one would ever get that close. Even Sirius and Remus he keeps at a distance."

Hmm.. this I kind of agree-and-disagree with..

I mean, I could have just been interpreting your story completely wrong, all this time, but I'd gotten the impression that a lot of the 'space' Harry keeps between them is heavily maintained (if not solely rooted in) the issue between him and Dumbledore.

Now, obviously, you've been scarce on the facts of this mysterious incident where Dumbledore apparently led Harry out to Voldemorts' forces and utterly shattered any faith Harry had in him. Completely regardless as to that situation (Perhaps it was a set up, perhaps Dumbledore didnt tell Harry to keep his reaction genuine, perhaps it was nothing so innocent - if poorly handled), I got the distinct impression that Harry was further devastated by Remus and Sirius' reactions to it.

They don't seem to care. The incident seems to have been shrugged off, like a 'Boys will be boys, eh?' turned 'Manipulative, sacrificial old Bastids will be.. etc'. Even now, they follow Dumbledore's orders, they groan over how Dumbledore trusts Harry and speak of Harry's mistrust of Dumbledore as though it was an endearing - although tiring, at times - personality quirk.

I can't imagine how Harry would feel, from his perspective, as the two people he cares most for and believes care most for HIM (even if he doesn't believe them to love him 'properly', like 'real' familial relationships are like) shrug off the worst betrayal he's experienced in his life and forget about it, keeping ties with the old man and certainly not getting into a raging fury or even a mild dissaproval!

And there's Harry, so desperate for whatever love he can get that he still lives with them, that he just tries to ignore that evidence that he's 'mostly a weapon' and only a [i]little[/] 'beloved Godson/son of James' to the two of them.

Practically classic abuse behavior :P Show a starved-of-love person some scraps of kindness and they'll stick around like a beaten dog.

I don't suspect for an instant, of course, that Remus and Sirius see it that way.. but that's CERTAINLY the imagery I've gleaned from Harry's perspective retelling..

Hell, he wouldn't even be able to feel completely safe with them, either.. not if he thought that if Dumbledore ever told them to do something to him that was 'for the greater good', they would.

...:D