It's been a not-so-nice year so far...
I haven't posted much, mostly because my life has been turned upside-down by my husband's deteriorating health.
He has a number of diabetes-related conditions, one of which is lymphodema. The open sores on his legs now are attracting lovely bacteria and becoming infected all too easily, and of late his infection have been landing him in hospital for stays that average between 5 to 8 days. Up until just this last time, each hospital stay began with a call to the Fire Department and an ambulance ride - mostly because he holds off when he starts to feel bad and then BOOM!!! he's collapsing on the floor (mind he's a BIG man that I simply cannot help back to his feet at all.) He's had sciatica take out one leg, so that he can barely lift the right leg at all anymore - and that landed him 5 1/2 weeks in a convalescent care facility getting the physical therapy that would allow him to walk very slowly with a walker. He can only barely get in or out of the car to go anywhere, and can no longer drive.
We've had to have a handicap ramp installed to the front door, because he simply cannot go up the five steps to get into the house anymore. Tuesday we're supposedly getting a walk-in shower installed because he cannot lift his leg to climb into the bathtub for a shower - altho, truth be told, with my arthritic knees I have trouble with that one myself.
And now, as if all of that wasn't enough, he's been diagnosed with MRSA this latest episode, and there are a number of new life-style modifications that we're going to have to make here at home that include separate eating dishes/utensils, no mixing of towels or bedclothes with the rest of the family's, change of bedclothes daily, etc etc etc ad nauseum. Not to mention that every time he goes into the hospital from here on in, he'll be in an isolation room where visitors have to get all togged out with anti-contamination plastic over-gown and gloves.
FWIW, and for the record, he's made five trips to the hospital so far in the last twelve months. On average, I get him home for about 3 to 6 weeks - just enough time for him to start feeling better and start tinkering in his wood shop again - before he gets yet another infection and goes back into hospital, and the vicious cycle is finally starting to take its toll on me. I'm not quite a basket case yet; but if this keeps up, I'll get there soon - especially if he should fall again. My muse, which had peeked back in on me a while ago, has found a hole to hide in again. I'm easily upset and brought to tears, especially when discussing this. My temper, always having had a hair trigger, is even shorter - and my mood ranges generally somewhere between numb and frantic.
Heck, I'm starting to wonder if I have anywhere near the psychological wherewithal to handle being musical director of my regular summer performance group program. I may have to have a long talk with our director, and warn him that my usefulness may have a shelf-life this year.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not fishing for sympathy. I'm just letting folks know that if I seem to vanish again without a trace or murmur, I have a pretty good reason for it. I brought my hubby home yet again today from hospital, and the Universe knows how long it will be before I have to take him in again.
Damn it.
This getting old crap sucks.
Take care, friendslist friends.
He has a number of diabetes-related conditions, one of which is lymphodema. The open sores on his legs now are attracting lovely bacteria and becoming infected all too easily, and of late his infection have been landing him in hospital for stays that average between 5 to 8 days. Up until just this last time, each hospital stay began with a call to the Fire Department and an ambulance ride - mostly because he holds off when he starts to feel bad and then BOOM!!! he's collapsing on the floor (mind he's a BIG man that I simply cannot help back to his feet at all.) He's had sciatica take out one leg, so that he can barely lift the right leg at all anymore - and that landed him 5 1/2 weeks in a convalescent care facility getting the physical therapy that would allow him to walk very slowly with a walker. He can only barely get in or out of the car to go anywhere, and can no longer drive.
We've had to have a handicap ramp installed to the front door, because he simply cannot go up the five steps to get into the house anymore. Tuesday we're supposedly getting a walk-in shower installed because he cannot lift his leg to climb into the bathtub for a shower - altho, truth be told, with my arthritic knees I have trouble with that one myself.
And now, as if all of that wasn't enough, he's been diagnosed with MRSA this latest episode, and there are a number of new life-style modifications that we're going to have to make here at home that include separate eating dishes/utensils, no mixing of towels or bedclothes with the rest of the family's, change of bedclothes daily, etc etc etc ad nauseum. Not to mention that every time he goes into the hospital from here on in, he'll be in an isolation room where visitors have to get all togged out with anti-contamination plastic over-gown and gloves.
FWIW, and for the record, he's made five trips to the hospital so far in the last twelve months. On average, I get him home for about 3 to 6 weeks - just enough time for him to start feeling better and start tinkering in his wood shop again - before he gets yet another infection and goes back into hospital, and the vicious cycle is finally starting to take its toll on me. I'm not quite a basket case yet; but if this keeps up, I'll get there soon - especially if he should fall again. My muse, which had peeked back in on me a while ago, has found a hole to hide in again. I'm easily upset and brought to tears, especially when discussing this. My temper, always having had a hair trigger, is even shorter - and my mood ranges generally somewhere between numb and frantic.
Heck, I'm starting to wonder if I have anywhere near the psychological wherewithal to handle being musical director of my regular summer performance group program. I may have to have a long talk with our director, and warn him that my usefulness may have a shelf-life this year.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not fishing for sympathy. I'm just letting folks know that if I seem to vanish again without a trace or murmur, I have a pretty good reason for it. I brought my hubby home yet again today from hospital, and the Universe knows how long it will be before I have to take him in again.
Damn it.
This getting old crap sucks.
Take care, friendslist friends.