Leave Me Not - 2

[aearwen2]

"That's enough. No more, please."

"Be reasonable, Elara. I couldn't keep a sick mouse kit alive on the little bit you've eaten. You must have more. I insist."

Elara put up a defensive hand and connected with the large hand holding the mug of rich broth, pushing it away. "Already I have had more than I've had in one sitting for weeks, Thranduil..."

"I care not. You need to eat. I may be no healer, but even I can see that much of your weakness is from simple hunger. You will have another good swallow, at least; and another goodly bite of bread before I will allow you to say finished." Thranduil's voice was determined, but she could hear the note of frustration behind it. She was still amazed that he had insisted that she stay in his lap and allow him to feed her, as if she were a total invalid or an infant. Of course, she probably wouldn't have had the strength to lift the mug of broth on her own anyway after her chest pain. It usually took at least a day to fully recover from one, but it was still a little humbling to be so shamelessly coddled.

"It won't stay down," she warned.

"Yes, it will," he replied firmly. "You have reason to keep it down now, and I am confident you will win the battle against your stomach this night." He raised the mug again. "One more swallow, now."

She turned her head away. "What about you?"

"I shall eat when I am certain you have had your full share." He touched the mug to her lips insistently. "Stop talking and swallow."

Elara opened her mouth to complain yet again, and found herself with a mouthful of the rich broth instead. She heard the Elvenking chuckle at the surprise and outrage she was certain was on her face, but swallowed the liquid automatically despite her already sated appetite. It was good to hear Thranduil laugh. His laugh had always brought her spirits up, even in those latter days in Eryn Lasgalen when... No. She wouldn't think of that. He was chuckling now, and she would simply enjoy the sound of his humor. It had been one of the many things about him that she had missed desperately.

"You enjoy being a bully, I think," she said instead.

"Nonsense. I merely enjoy seeing you hale and strong, and am willing to do whatever it takes to make that a reality again," he countered quite unapologetically. "If that means I end up having to bully you into fighting for your own life, then so be it. The great and cruel Elvenking has his reputation to consider, after all, even this far from the Greenwood. Now, will you take your bite of bread willingly, or must I use strategy with that as well?"

"Tyrant."

"Absolutely. Proud of it too. Open."

Elara sighed and did as she was told, to find that the morsel of bread placed on her tongue had been thoroughly soaked in more of the broth. She swallowed what had been given her anyway, since arguing with the Elvenking wasn't getting her very far. She pointedly leaned back against him, resting her head against his shoulder. "Happy now?"

"No," he replied in blunt honesty. "I would far rather see you finish all of the broth and bread - there wasn't much of it to begin with - but I shall take that as a short-term goal to be tackled on the morrow and be satisfied with what you have eaten for this night." He deposited a kiss on her forehead. " I truly do not enjoy forcing you to eat, Elara."

"You're the only person I'd let get away with it," she mumbled and turned into him further. "There. I'm done. You need to eat now, too. You should set me in my own chair so..."

"I will release my hold on you in my own good time," he promised. "In the meanwhile, I can eat one-handed." Elara felt him reaching with the hand that wasn't involved in holding her close, and she heard the sound of dishes being moved on the small side table that the servant had placed near at the Elvenking's hand. "You should see what Legolas sent up for me. Such fare I have not had for a very long time."

"His people keep his table well-stocked," Elara remembered. "His cooks prepare several interesting dishes I'd never had before in your hall, as I remember."

"Dishes you enjoyed?" The sound of cutlery against the plate now accompanied the movement of his arm and body.

"I suppose," she hedged. In truth, it had been so long since food had held any appeal for her, she had forgotten.

"I shall have to speak to the cooks then, once you are eating more normally, to find things to tempt your palate." Elara heard him chewing, and then he exclaimed, "Oh! This fish is delicious! Are you certain I could not tempt you with just the tiniest morsel?"

"Thranduil..."

"Just the thinnest of flakes, I swear." She felt something soft and warm pressed against her lips. "Try it."

Elara breathed out a sigh through her nose, knowing that the moment she opened her mouth to turn his offer down, he'd slip the fish in, no matter what she said. She made him wait a bit, knowing him to be more than able to understand what she was telling him without words, and then opened her mouth for him. He was right - the fish was delicious. "It is good," she agreed reluctantly.

"If you want another morsel, you will have to tell me before I finish it," he warned, the satisfaction in his voice at cajoling this further food into her very obvious even as he filled his own mouth again.

"I'll keep that in mind," she replied dryly. "You need your supper though, after your long journey. I'm finished, remember?"

"I am not the one trying to starve myself to death, Elara," he pointed out just as dryly after swallowing, and remained silent while eating the rest of his meal. Elara was glad of the lull in conversation; it allowed her to rest against him and simply soak up his presence, his touch, without distraction. Silences between them had never been uncomfortable ones before, and this one was no different. Then: "I have decided the last piece is yours after all. Open."

"You're impossible," she managed after she'd chewed and swallowed a much more substantial bite of the delicate fish. Her stomach wasn't used to the load it was being asked to hold, but strangely enough, although she was approaching uncomfortably full, there was no nausea, no sign that she would lose it. Maybe he was right, that having a reason to keep it down made the difference.

"The proper word is determined," Thranduil answered, settling back into the comfortable chair and pulling her more comfortably against him. "I will accept nothing less than a complete recovery from you." His huge hand cradled her head against his shoulder as another long and comfortable moment of silence stretched between them. "I suppose that as much as I am enjoying this, I should probably call whoever it is that helps you prepare for bed and get myself out of these filthy travel clothes and into a hot bath."

"Probably. You need your rest too, Sire," Elara murmured at him, half-asleep and comfortable with her almost too full tummy adding to the feeling of contentment.

"Were it not that I am beginning to offend even myself, I could easily stay like this the entire night..."

"And shock your son, no doubt," she shook her head against his shoulder and hand. "I've had enough food that I'm getting sleepy. If you would put me in the comfortable chair by the hearth, I can await Gelinnas."

"That is the healer, is it not?"

"Yes. She takes care of me the way Míriel used to." Elara stirred. "Did anyone bring my sewing in from the garden?"

"I shall bring it to you before I leave," Thranduil sighed. "And I suppose I should go, shouldn't I?"

"Do you really want me to tell you that you stink of horse and dusty road?"

Thranduil's chest began shaking, and then he broke out into a full laugh. "You were more awake than I thought after all. You heard that?"

"It was a nice way to wake up, after all this time," Elara said with a hitch to her voice. The thought that, however temporarily, he was leaving her... "Must I bid you good night then?"

Thranduil was silent for a moment. "I think, provided I do not offend you overmuch yet, I can wait until Gelinnas arrives before letting go of you. I am not uncomfortable like this, and you are more than welcome to sleep in my arms until she comes. I may very well doze with you. It has been a very long and emotional day for us both; and I find I am most comforted by having you close." He bent and kissed her forehead. "Sleep, my gift, and know that I will be here for you when you awaken."

"This has to be a dream," she whispered to herself.

"No, I am no dream. Just a much chastened Elf who has learned the hard way that love denied is its own kind of evil." His arms pulled her very close to him. "I am so sorry I put you through all this, Elara."

"I love you, Thranduil," she whispered as she slipped an arm around his neck and held him back.

"Elara nîn, le melon," he whispered back, his large hand cradling her head against his.

She tucked her nose into the hollow below his ear and rested her head on his shoulder, her face hidden in the fragrant curtain of his hair. This was better than any dream - this was real.

He shifted in his seat once more so that he could hold her more comfortably in that very close embrace. Elara took a deep breath of warm forest, fresh-cut grass, sweaty horse and road dust and promptly fell fast asleep in his arms.

oOoOo

Elara roused and listened carefully. The Elven voices that never seemed to sleep had dwindled to just a pair of voices that wove melody and descant back and forth, their paean to Elbereth as delicate as an autumn breeze through falling leaves. She was in her warm bed, her hair had been combed and braided, and she wore a fresh-smelling sleeping gown. Gelinnas had been very careful and very thorough; she hadn't even known when she'd been prepared for sleep. Had she?

She awoke further and sighed. It was another night, like all the others in her time here in Ithilien, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Elara's breath caught in her throat at the idea that she had been dreaming after all. She had allowed her desperate wish to hear her Elvenking's voice once more while she was still in the world to carry her off into waking dreams that had seemed all too real - until she awoke. And, as always happened when she allowed such things to happen, she paid for such dreams with tears. Her heart lurched painfully in her chest.

Then, from somewhere very close by, she heard stirring and then a deep voice. "Are you well? Do you require assistance?"

Thranduil! He really was here! She relaxed back into her pillow, fighting sobs of relief as the tightness in her chest slowly eased. "I was afraid it all had been nothing more than a very nice dream," she managed through a thick voice. "But you're really here, aren't you? I didn't just dream you..."

"I told you I would be here when you awakened," the Elvenking replied, and Elara felt the bed at her side dip beneath his weight as he sat down next to her. "But you should sleep through the night undisturbed. What awakened you?"

She ignored his question. "What time is it? It's quite late, isn't it?"

"Yes." Gentle fingers moved escaped tendrils of hair from near her mouth. "The dawn is hours from now."

"What are you doing here, then? I thought you'd be resting in your own chamber after your bath." He must have bathed, the scent of horse and dust was definitely missing now from the normal smell of warm forest and fresh-cut grass.

"I wanted to watch over you," he confessed. "I tried to rest in my own chamber, but found I could not relax." His hand framed her face. "I must confess that I feared that you would slip away from me in the night, despite everything, so I had to come, to do whatever I could to make certain you were still here with me when the morning came."

"I'm not going anywhere," she complained.

"I know that is what I ordered you to do, and what I most dearly wish to happen, but I am also a practical man. I know that you stand at the very edge of the circles of the world. And if it is your time to step beyond, I would not have you do so alone." He bent over her and kissed her cheek.

Elara smiled. Every one of his actions since he'd reappeared in her life was like balm spreading over a spirit that was burned and raw. "I may stand at the brink now," she promised him, "but I want to turn back. Now that you're here, I have a reason to stay in this world again."

"I rejoice to hear that. Sleep, then; rest and let the food you ate earlier restore you." The huge hand stroked back her hair from her face. "I will be right here in the morning, ready to do battle to pull you back from that brink - inch by desperate inch, if need be. As a matter of fact..." Elara felt him rise from where he was sitting, and then suddenly the bed dipped on the other side of her as he settled himself next to her, stretching out his long legs over the top of her blankets. "Come here," he whispered and gathered her into his arms as she shifted toward him, settling her head on his chest as he lay back into the pillows. "We will both rest better this way, I think."

"You'll be cold," she worried, although she was more than happy to stretch out an arm across his chest to hold him back.

"I do not feel the cold as you do. You should remember that from the last time we were alone in the night together," he soothed, brushing his lips across her forehead. "Worry not about me. Sleep now."

"But what will Gelinnas think..."

"Shhhh...." Gentle fingers pressed against her lips. "The opinions of others are the least of my worries. Your well-being is the only thing that matters to me at the moment. So I shock your healer - such will not injure me, and Gelinnas will survive, I assure you. After all, I helped prepare you for bed last night while you were so deeply asleep; and although I believe she was... unprepared... for my assistance, it did not seem to cause her any real distress."

"But Legolas..."

He sighed. "I will explain myself to my son long before any issue arises, never fear; although I have a feeling he understands better than either of us think he does." She felt him tugging on her blankets so that her shoulders were more fully covered. "Now, will you stop worrying on my behalf and go back to sleep? Please?"

"Thranduil..."

The chest below her ear finally began to shake as a chuckle rumbled up from deep within. "Elara nîn, if there is one thing that gives me hope that I will one day bring you home to Eryn Lasgalen hale and strong, it is that you are every bit as stubborn as I am. I swear, when you are determined, you will let nothing or no one hold you back from what you wish. So speak - say what you need to say - so that you can relax once it is said."

Elara pressed her face into his chest in chagrin. Indeed, he had disarmed every last protest she'd mustered, leaving her with very little to say. "Good night?" she managed, and then began giggling in response.

At that, he laughed softly and kissed her forehead again. "Good night, my gift," he replied and settled her tightly into his embrace. "The stars guard your dreams this night."

"I have you guarding them," she whispered, almost giddy at the dramatic change in their relationship. Not once had she dared dream that the day - or night - would come when she would lay in his arms like this.

And once more she took in a deep breath, and the smells that meant safety and security enfolded themselves into her very being and eased her back into a soft and dreamless slumber.

oOoOo

"Merciful Elbereth!"

"At last!" Thranduil carefully slipped his arm out from behind Elara and rose to greet the High King of Gondor. "You took your time getting here, Elrondion."

"Had I known..." The way the bed dipped, Elara knew that someone other than Thranduil had just sat down near her. Gentle but knowing fingers claimed her wrist and settled on her pulse. "You were very nearly successful, weren't you?" Aragorn whispered.

"She is much improved since my Father arrived," Legolas commented from the direction of the door. "But I do not think she would have survived much longer had he not come."

"I'm here; please don't speak of me as if I were deaf or absent," Elara grumbled. "And I told you when last I saw you," she aimed her comment now at Aragorn, "that I had no reason to stay. Until just a few days ago..."

"I take it that has changed," Aragorn stated with a hint of humor as his hands moved knowingly across her shoulders and then down to pull aside the blanket to palpate her stomach.

"I want very much to live now," she admitted in an almost inaudible voice. "I want to go home."

Aragorn pulled the blanket back up over Elara's abdomen. "Home? To Eryn Lasgalen?" He sounded surprised.

"It is where she rightfully belongs, after all," Thranduil announced with a touch of pride. "When I leave, I shall take her with me."

"I have told Aran Thranduil that she will most likely have a long convalescence," Gelinnas spoke up in her soft voice. "I think he has hopes of removing her to the north after Rhîw - but I am not certain she will be ready to travel by then."

"Is that what you want, Elara?" Aragorn asked Elara pointedly. "To go north with King Thranduil when it is time for him to return to his kingdom?"

"Yes." Elara's voice was still soft, but it was firm. "I want to go home."

"Are you ready to do whatever it takes?"

"She is," Thranduil answered for her without apology, brushing aside gasped protests from at least one other with a soft snort. "And when her dedication wavers, I will make certain she remains on the road to recovery. I have told her I expect nothing less than having her back in full health."

"Unfortunately, that may be stretching further than her body can go," Aragorn announced with a hint of sadness. "If this is what she looks like after having improved, then it is possible that she had already begun doing serious and permanent damage to her internal organs - her heart, for example. Even if she regains her health, chances are she will always be more fragile than she was before."

There was a long moment of silence where Elara knew Thranduil was wrestling with the idea of less than a complete recovery for her. Then: "But will she recover enough strength to endure the journey home?"

"You will have to follow the diet I set out for you without fail," Aragorn again addressed himself to Elara, "and you will have to exercise to gain strength back. And even after you have returned to Eryn Lasgalen, you will need to continue with the diet. The road back for you will not be a short or pleasant one, Elara; I will not lie to you."

"I will do what needs to be done," she told him firmly, wishing that Thranduil were close enough to hold her hand. Aragorn's statements were ominous and a little frightening. "Tell me what I have to do."

"First, believe that you can recover," Aragorn stated, his hands enfolding hers and giving them a small squeeze. "Attitude will be key to your success or failure. Of course, with King Thranduil here not even allowing you to doubt yourself, that may not be an issue. He is a hard person to argue with."

"Arrogance and hard headedness have their uses," Thranduil announced archly. "I have more than my share of both, or so I've been told."

"Very well. I will draw up a detailed diet and exercise regimen, and I'll give Gelinnas a list of herbal teas and tinctures that you should take to strengthen your heart and digestive system." Aragorn stood. "But I can do that all that elsewhere. I think we've tired Elara all that is necessary for the moment, and she should have a small snack and then a rest."

"What should I order for her?" Legolas asked immediately.

"A small glass of apple juice, a ginger cookie - if there are any in stock - and a mint tea to help settle things." Aragorn rose. "If there are no ginger cookies, then any light biscuit, or a small bite of lembas if nothing else is available. I'll speak to the cook regarding supper for the evening." He bent and gave Elara a peck on the cheek. "I'm here until the storm outside clears, so I should have the time to make adjustments to amounts that will give us the quickest results." He straightened. "Thranduil, Gelinnas, I'd like to speak to you both for a moment, if I may..."

Elara leaned back into her pillows as she felt and heard the room empty around her. It was the first time she'd been genuinely alone in the past week, and it felt strange not to have Thranduil near her for a change. Her Elvenking had appointed himself her sole caregiver, only barely moving aside for Gelinnas to take charge of changing her attire in the mornings and evenings. Legolas had moved his evening meals to her apartment several times, and Elara had come to appreciate the genuine affection between father and son as displayed in the spirited and wickedly witty banter that had flown between the two.

"Tired?" Whatever Aragorn had to say to him must have been quick, and her musings engrossing, for she hadn't heard him return.

"A little," she admitted. "I haven't been around that many people for a long time."

"Perhaps you should nap now, before your snack arrives," he suggested, moving closer. "I'll awaken you when it gets here."

"Thranduil." Elara put out her hand in the direction of his voice and found it quickly captured by his. "Sit with me and tell me what Aragorn had to say to you." The Elvenking gave a heavy sigh as he moved to settle next to her on the bed, on top of the blankets as always, and slipped his arm behind her again to gather her close. "Tell me," she urged again.

"He worries about you," was all he would say before burying his face in her neck.

"He doesn't know that I will recover, does he?" she asked him gently. She felt him take a hitched breath and then, slowly, shake his head. She put her arms around his neck and held on tight. "I'm going to try, Thranduil - I give you my solemn oath that I will do whatever you and Aragorn and Gelinnas ask of me without too much argument. If the Valar are even half as merciful as you seem to think they are, they will let me regain my health."

He took another hitched breath, and Elara turned her head and pressed a kiss into his fragrant hair. For the first time since he'd arrived and taken complete charge of her welfare, Thranduil seemed less than confident in his own power to create events according to his own wishes. "Don't lose hope. I have heard it said somewhere that hope exists as long as there is life to sustain it. I'm still here, and here I'll stay for as long as the Valar will allow. You have said you would have nothing less from me."

It took a long moment, but finally he straightened and settled himself against the headboard of the bed so that he could draw her to him in a way in which they both knew she could rest easily. "You are right. I will accept nothing less than complete success in this venture, and I will entertain no other outcomes." The confident tone was back, but still sounded forced and hollow.

Elara sighed as she relaxed against the hard chest. He had been the rock to which she had clung for days now; it seemed only proper that he be allowed time for his own doubts and fears to surface from time to time. There was little response to what he was going through that would comfort him, but she stroked the back of her fingers over his warm cheek.

He nuzzled her hair for a moment. "Rest now - sleep. I'll awaken you when your snack arrives."

But in the tic of his thumb where it rested on her shoulder, she knew that he hadn't entirely let go of whatever it was that Aragorn had really told him. And it worried her as well. She wanted to go home! She would go home. Like Thranduil, she would accept nothing less of herself.