Title: Therapeutic Avoidance of the Truth
Author: HeliosHyperion
Team: ROMANCE
Prompt: Lies
Word count: 551
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language. Talk of a sexual nature.
Therapeutic Avoidance of the Truth
Hyperion
Their relationship therapist was named Misty. She insisted that they call her by her first name, so as not to be so formal. Arthur took that as an insult, since he had worn a three piece suit to their first session. Eames took that as an invitation to wear his most garish outfits.
Ariadne had suggested Misty. “Not because there’s anything wrong with your relationship, really. I’m not saying that. Plenty of couples bicker. Plenty of couples argue about their jobs. Plenty of couples get on everyone’s nerves because they don’t seem to realize that their pettiness is distracting the woman who has to make sure that they can get out of the maze alive and it’s freaking impossible to concentrate when the two of you are in the same building, and much less so when you ask me to referee your arguments for you. I’m not saying that. It’s just that you guys are so great that you should do everything you can to make your relationship the best it can be. That’s all I’m saying. I’m not judging. Not at all. I never would. You know I wouldn’t.”
After hearing Eames complain again that Arthur was “a pathological control freak who can’t stand having even one hair out of place! Would it really kill you to snuggle before a bit before you rush off to clean up after sex? Would it? Are my bodily fluids so repulsive that you can’t stand having them on you for even five minutes?!” and Arthur crying, “You know my skin is sensitive! You know I get pimples if your semen dries on my skin.”
After hearing Arthur accuse Eames of “dressing in antique store camouflage,” and Eames saying, “I lived in Mombasa, for fuck’s sake. It’s hot there!”
After hearing these things, Misty decided that the best thing they could do would be to lie to each other. At least, that was how they took her assignment of finding the positive in what they perceived as the other’s faults. “Your organizational skills are exceptional and I appreciate all the hard work you do. Your fastidiousness adds a much needed balance to my life. I thank you,” Eames recited in an unfeeling monotone.
“You are a unique and…creative…personality. You make my life more colorful and more eventful. You do things in an unorthodox way, and while that is not how I choose to work and live, your choices are equally as valid as my own. I am sorry for suggesting otherwise,” Arthur forced out.
“That was good,” Misty said. “Good for a first try. Maybe the next time we try this, you’ll mean it.”
“This isn’t going to work,” they said together.
“We don’t need this,” Arthur said. “We’re just fine how we are.”
“No. Not at all,” Eames agreed. “We’re just your average couple.”
“Better than average,” Arthur said. “After all, not every couple has you in it.”
“Nor you, love.”
“Ready to leave?” Arthur asked, holding his arm out for Eames.
Eames took it. “Ready whenever you are, my dear,” he said, and Arthur led them to the door.
Misty was left dumbfounded, feeling as though she’d been run over by a train. Well, her little task had worked, sort of. At least there was that.