I'm In Love With A Stripper
Title: I'm In Love With A Stripper
Pairing: Layhan
Genre: Romance, drabble
Rating: PG-15? Borderline inappropriate...#sorrynotsorry
A/N: Who knew that AP English would ever come in handy? I know all about fallacies. Basically, I had stripper!Yixing on the brain and this happened. Thanks eexiee to for beta-ing and trying to talk me into writing smut (it aint happenin'). Yeah okay no regrets OTLOTL
Sometimes, Lu Han decides, being in love with one’s best friend can be a good thing, especially when said best friend loves you back. Other times, however, it’s not so good, especially when that best-friend-slash-boyfriend works as a stripper on the weekends to help pay for college and rent.
“Exotic dancer,” Yixing always corrects huffily when Lu Han brings it up. “Say it with some class.”
Lu Han miserably fails to point out that there is very little class in his part-time job. He just wants his boyfriend to himself, goddamn it.
They are snuggled up on the couch after dinner, Yixing with his head on his lap, when Lu Han brings up the topic again.
“You should find a new job,” he suggests, running a hand softly through Yixing’s dark brown tresses. “I think that expensive Italian place on the corner is hiring, and the people who eat there are all rich, so they leave big tips.”
Yixing sits up and shoots him an incredulous look. “I doubt any job is going to beat my current one if we’re comparing tips.”
Lu Han realizes it a moment too late and wants to facepalm.
“False analogy fallacy; try again,” Yixing concludes. He shifts over, dumping himself unceremoniously into Lu Han’s lap.
“Um…you can work normal human hours, instead of late into the night?” Lu Han tries. “Then, you don’t have to be so tired on Monday mornings.”
“Argumentum ad consequentiam,” Yixing replies, wrapping his arms around Lu Han’s neck. He wriggles a little, settling in. “Not impressed. Also, I don’t have class on Monday mornings anyway.”
Lu Han mentally curses the fact that Yixing is a literature major.
“I don’t like the idea of other men looking at you,” Lu Han admits, finally. He buries his nose in the crook of Yixing’s neck and inhales his crisp shampoo and conditioner. Yixing has always refused to use the brand that Lu Han likes, saying that it maked his own hair too oily. “I’ll cover your half of the rent if you quit your job.”
“Ignoratio elenchi,” Yixing whispers. He leans down and attaches his lips to Lu Han’s neck. “And you know I can’t let you do that; I’ll pay for my half.”
Lu Han’s head lolls back, and for a moment, his eyes close, overwhelmed with the sensation of Yixing’s lips on his skin. He also decides, then, that Yixing has no idea of the effect he has on Lu Han’s head.
“It’s not that bad. They can look, but they can’t touch; only you get that privilege,” Yixing adds, pulling back. He has a devious look in his eyes, and Lu Han gulps in anticipation. Sure enough, Yixing swings himself onto his feet, and treads over to the sound system. “Also, you can get your own private show, for free.”
Sultry club music blares from the speakers and Yixing’s eyes immediately get ten times darker, like chocolate, instead of butter pecan. He starts to dance, moving his hips wantonly in time to the music. First, the cardigan is thrown aside, and then the black wife-beater top. When Yixing moves that much closer and sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth, Lu Han accepts the fact that he is not going anywhere; he’s staying whether Yixing quits his job or not. Yixing has all of his attention, all of his heart, and all of his love.
He groans, partly from sexual frustration and partly from his realization of defeat. “I’m in love with a stripper,” he mutters, finally bringing his hands up to rest on Yixing’s sinful hips.
There is a little tsking sound, and Yixing smacks his hand away. “Exotic dancer, thank you very much,” he sniffs, moving away with a wild glint in his eyes. “And for that, Lu Han, you’re going to be sleeping here on the couch tonight.”
Lu Han springs to his feet and chases the younger into the bedroom. Sleep on the couch after all that? Yeah. As if.
Argumentum ad consequentiam - appeal to consequences
Reduction fallacy - assumes there is only one cause to an outcome when there may be many
Ignoratio elenchi - irrelevant conclusion
Pairing: Layhan
Genre: Romance, drabble
Rating: PG-15? Borderline inappropriate...#sorrynotsorry
A/N: Who knew that AP English would ever come in handy? I know all about fallacies. Basically, I had stripper!Yixing on the brain and this happened. Thanks eexiee to for beta-ing and trying to talk me into writing smut (it aint happenin'). Yeah okay no regrets OTLOTL
Sometimes, Lu Han decides, being in love with one’s best friend can be a good thing, especially when said best friend loves you back. Other times, however, it’s not so good, especially when that best-friend-slash-boyfriend works as a stripper on the weekends to help pay for college and rent.
“Exotic dancer,” Yixing always corrects huffily when Lu Han brings it up. “Say it with some class.”
Lu Han miserably fails to point out that there is very little class in his part-time job. He just wants his boyfriend to himself, goddamn it.
They are snuggled up on the couch after dinner, Yixing with his head on his lap, when Lu Han brings up the topic again.
“You should find a new job,” he suggests, running a hand softly through Yixing’s dark brown tresses. “I think that expensive Italian place on the corner is hiring, and the people who eat there are all rich, so they leave big tips.”
Yixing sits up and shoots him an incredulous look. “I doubt any job is going to beat my current one if we’re comparing tips.”
Lu Han realizes it a moment too late and wants to facepalm.
“False analogy fallacy; try again,” Yixing concludes. He shifts over, dumping himself unceremoniously into Lu Han’s lap.
“Um…you can work normal human hours, instead of late into the night?” Lu Han tries. “Then, you don’t have to be so tired on Monday mornings.”
“Argumentum ad consequentiam,” Yixing replies, wrapping his arms around Lu Han’s neck. He wriggles a little, settling in. “Not impressed. Also, I don’t have class on Monday mornings anyway.”
Lu Han mentally curses the fact that Yixing is a literature major.
“I don’t like the idea of other men looking at you,” Lu Han admits, finally. He buries his nose in the crook of Yixing’s neck and inhales his crisp shampoo and conditioner. Yixing has always refused to use the brand that Lu Han likes, saying that it maked his own hair too oily. “I’ll cover your half of the rent if you quit your job.”
“Ignoratio elenchi,” Yixing whispers. He leans down and attaches his lips to Lu Han’s neck. “And you know I can’t let you do that; I’ll pay for my half.”
Lu Han’s head lolls back, and for a moment, his eyes close, overwhelmed with the sensation of Yixing’s lips on his skin. He also decides, then, that Yixing has no idea of the effect he has on Lu Han’s head.
“It’s not that bad. They can look, but they can’t touch; only you get that privilege,” Yixing adds, pulling back. He has a devious look in his eyes, and Lu Han gulps in anticipation. Sure enough, Yixing swings himself onto his feet, and treads over to the sound system. “Also, you can get your own private show, for free.”
Sultry club music blares from the speakers and Yixing’s eyes immediately get ten times darker, like chocolate, instead of butter pecan. He starts to dance, moving his hips wantonly in time to the music. First, the cardigan is thrown aside, and then the black wife-beater top. When Yixing moves that much closer and sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth, Lu Han accepts the fact that he is not going anywhere; he’s staying whether Yixing quits his job or not. Yixing has all of his attention, all of his heart, and all of his love.
He groans, partly from sexual frustration and partly from his realization of defeat. “I’m in love with a stripper,” he mutters, finally bringing his hands up to rest on Yixing’s sinful hips.
There is a little tsking sound, and Yixing smacks his hand away. “Exotic dancer, thank you very much,” he sniffs, moving away with a wild glint in his eyes. “And for that, Lu Han, you’re going to be sleeping here on the couch tonight.”
Lu Han springs to his feet and chases the younger into the bedroom. Sleep on the couch after all that? Yeah. As if.
Argumentum ad consequentiam - appeal to consequences
Reduction fallacy - assumes there is only one cause to an outcome when there may be many
Ignoratio elenchi - irrelevant conclusion