The boyfriend or the family? HELP!
I'm a 23 year old female. I need advice more than I ever have in my entire life. I also want to add that this all started and finished in a period of 6 months.
I met a guy and I fell in love with him right away. It was one of those whirlwind things, crazy but practically perfect at the same time. I moved in with him maybe a month later and then we moved to a new apartment together. Things were ok, and then he seemed different. He lost weight, was always jittery and running in and out of the house. He would be gone till like midnight every day. I thought it was a little off but didnt think too much of it.
Then I got pregnant, but it wasn't a shocker. We sorta were planning it. It was an irresponsible decision though because I was out of work and he didn't have a job due to not being able to work because he gets assistance from the government because he has bipolar disorder. It gives him the perk of having Section 8 housing (practically free rent at places that take section 8). He gets enough money though to pay the bills. What made me mad though was I could never figure out why in the end we wouldn't even have a dollar. I mean ok yeah you aren't working, but you're getting all this government support with rent being practically free and bills being low. Now when you can't even have enough money to buy some groceries and put gas in the car, that's just messed up. I didn't know how all this government assistance stuff worked so I figured this is just how it was. I was VERY wrong.
I also should've known something was up when my bf's friends who I knew did drugs came around a lot and would even sleep over sometimes. I feel like such an idiot, like how could I not have known he was on drugs? How could I not have realized all the money we should've had was going to drugs? I am naive and very trusting and I haven't touched or seen what a drug even looks like in my life. My bf got caught in the end begging for money at a rest area all high and drugged out. The cops were called and that's when I found out. A detective questioned me and all I could do was cry and say I didn't know, because that was the truth!
So here I am, jobless, pregnant, and so very alone. I had to do something I did not want to ever do. I already was in love with my baby but I had to let it go...I had an abortion. There were a lot of reasons why I did it, it wasn't just because my boyfriend was locked up. I have a seizure disorder which could cause my baby to come out with all these medical problems and I had no medical insurance whatsoever. I had nowhere to live and my parents would not help me. And I couldn't get a job, I was so so sick all the time, I'd never be able to keep it. I made tons of irresponsible decisions all because I was blinded by love. And also I need to add..if you are against abortion please don't judge me, everyone has their opinion, I only ask for you to listen and give advice, not judge.
So basically here is why I'm here. My parents have made it very clear that if I ever see or speak to my bf again I can lose their numbers and receive no help from them ever again. But I love my bf still, and even though I am furious with him for lying to me I also want to help him get better. Not only has he become an addict, he also has bipolar disorder, he is sick.
Everyone is telling me I'd be a fool to stay with him and I need to move on with my life. That's probably the right decision, but I still love him! I mean I was going to have a baby with him and marry him! I never got to that point or wanted to get to that point with anyone else. Now my choice is forget him and do what my family wants, or stay with him and take my chances, or the one that is looking good right now, lie to my family and still see him behind their backs. I'm so confused and scared and upset about it all.
I wish I knew what to do. I have no friends to even talk to about this, I only had him. Now I have no one. Please I beg you please comment and give me advice. Please!
I met a guy and I fell in love with him right away. It was one of those whirlwind things, crazy but practically perfect at the same time. I moved in with him maybe a month later and then we moved to a new apartment together. Things were ok, and then he seemed different. He lost weight, was always jittery and running in and out of the house. He would be gone till like midnight every day. I thought it was a little off but didnt think too much of it.
Then I got pregnant, but it wasn't a shocker. We sorta were planning it. It was an irresponsible decision though because I was out of work and he didn't have a job due to not being able to work because he gets assistance from the government because he has bipolar disorder. It gives him the perk of having Section 8 housing (practically free rent at places that take section 8). He gets enough money though to pay the bills. What made me mad though was I could never figure out why in the end we wouldn't even have a dollar. I mean ok yeah you aren't working, but you're getting all this government support with rent being practically free and bills being low. Now when you can't even have enough money to buy some groceries and put gas in the car, that's just messed up. I didn't know how all this government assistance stuff worked so I figured this is just how it was. I was VERY wrong.
I also should've known something was up when my bf's friends who I knew did drugs came around a lot and would even sleep over sometimes. I feel like such an idiot, like how could I not have known he was on drugs? How could I not have realized all the money we should've had was going to drugs? I am naive and very trusting and I haven't touched or seen what a drug even looks like in my life. My bf got caught in the end begging for money at a rest area all high and drugged out. The cops were called and that's when I found out. A detective questioned me and all I could do was cry and say I didn't know, because that was the truth!
So here I am, jobless, pregnant, and so very alone. I had to do something I did not want to ever do. I already was in love with my baby but I had to let it go...I had an abortion. There were a lot of reasons why I did it, it wasn't just because my boyfriend was locked up. I have a seizure disorder which could cause my baby to come out with all these medical problems and I had no medical insurance whatsoever. I had nowhere to live and my parents would not help me. And I couldn't get a job, I was so so sick all the time, I'd never be able to keep it. I made tons of irresponsible decisions all because I was blinded by love. And also I need to add..if you are against abortion please don't judge me, everyone has their opinion, I only ask for you to listen and give advice, not judge.
So basically here is why I'm here. My parents have made it very clear that if I ever see or speak to my bf again I can lose their numbers and receive no help from them ever again. But I love my bf still, and even though I am furious with him for lying to me I also want to help him get better. Not only has he become an addict, he also has bipolar disorder, he is sick.
Everyone is telling me I'd be a fool to stay with him and I need to move on with my life. That's probably the right decision, but I still love him! I mean I was going to have a baby with him and marry him! I never got to that point or wanted to get to that point with anyone else. Now my choice is forget him and do what my family wants, or stay with him and take my chances, or the one that is looking good right now, lie to my family and still see him behind their backs. I'm so confused and scared and upset about it all.
I wish I knew what to do. I have no friends to even talk to about this, I only had him. Now I have no one. Please I beg you please comment and give me advice. Please!