Future Air Force wife, here it goes
22/F
Well I have been engaged for about 10 months or so now. I have been with my man for about a year. A couple months into our relationship he enlisted in the Air Force. He has spent at least half of our relationship in basic and tech school. I love him so so much. It has been very very hard having to be so far away from each other. I have gotten to see him a total of 2 weeks since he has been gone. Well he is coming home in May and we are getting married... WOW.... cold feet. Its not that I don't want to marry him, no... I love this man with all my heart and soul. I went through a very very bad first marriage (this will be #1 for him) and I am very nervous about military life. I know we can overcome any obstacles laid before us but I just get freaked out. I also plan on going to school (to get my MD eventually) and I have heard that this is almost impossible in a military family with all the moves and what not. I have always been around friends and family my whole life and when we get married my 3 year old and I will be going to his first duty base where I don't know anyone. I am also worried about fitting in with the other air force wives that will be there because I am a little off beat (I am not a very conservative person). And his mother!!!!! She cannot let go of her little baby and gets into the cracks of all of our business. She has been a stay at home mother her whole marriage and expects me to do the same but I have such a need for a career! She does not support anything to do with me. Now, it's not that I am a bad person, no, it's that she wanted him to be with an ex of his. For months she tried to get me to hold off on the wedding and now she tells him I am the worst mistake he has ever made and I am going to ruin his career in the air force. She has told him that if he left me she would take care of all of his finances (basically bribing him with her money). She has also told me that she no longer wants to see my daughter because she is convinced I am going to leave her son. I think she is feeling a bit uneasy about me being previously married and that falling apart. She told me that if I become a Doctor that I won't know my family because I will be gone too much and out children will suffer from my choice. Oh I love my Air Force man, his mother however drives me nuts. This last time she started drama she said she did not ever want to talk to me again and told her son the same thing if he stays with me. What did I do? -Is it because I want a successful career? Because I was married before and the man I was with happened to do the one thing I wouldn't tolerate in a relationship? Of course he thinks she is acting childish as well and has not said a word to her since but what do I do when she figures out that we do really love each other and wants to be a part of our lives again?
So the problem lies here... I am scared of military life, him getting deployed and me being alone with the children (there is just my 3 year old right now) and college. I am SCARED to death that his mother is going to show up at the wedding and start some crazy drama. What do I do when she wants to be a part of our lives again? How should I calm down while I am waiting for him to return for the wedding and move us down there? I am up to the challenge, however which way it turns and whatever I need to do I will do it. I just wish I could get along with his mother and feel a little bit more comfortable with this whole situation. Maybe I should go see a therapist lol.
So any advice would be great :D Thank you.
Well I have been engaged for about 10 months or so now. I have been with my man for about a year. A couple months into our relationship he enlisted in the Air Force. He has spent at least half of our relationship in basic and tech school. I love him so so much. It has been very very hard having to be so far away from each other. I have gotten to see him a total of 2 weeks since he has been gone. Well he is coming home in May and we are getting married... WOW.... cold feet. Its not that I don't want to marry him, no... I love this man with all my heart and soul. I went through a very very bad first marriage (this will be #1 for him) and I am very nervous about military life. I know we can overcome any obstacles laid before us but I just get freaked out. I also plan on going to school (to get my MD eventually) and I have heard that this is almost impossible in a military family with all the moves and what not. I have always been around friends and family my whole life and when we get married my 3 year old and I will be going to his first duty base where I don't know anyone. I am also worried about fitting in with the other air force wives that will be there because I am a little off beat (I am not a very conservative person). And his mother!!!!! She cannot let go of her little baby and gets into the cracks of all of our business. She has been a stay at home mother her whole marriage and expects me to do the same but I have such a need for a career! She does not support anything to do with me. Now, it's not that I am a bad person, no, it's that she wanted him to be with an ex of his. For months she tried to get me to hold off on the wedding and now she tells him I am the worst mistake he has ever made and I am going to ruin his career in the air force. She has told him that if he left me she would take care of all of his finances (basically bribing him with her money). She has also told me that she no longer wants to see my daughter because she is convinced I am going to leave her son. I think she is feeling a bit uneasy about me being previously married and that falling apart. She told me that if I become a Doctor that I won't know my family because I will be gone too much and out children will suffer from my choice. Oh I love my Air Force man, his mother however drives me nuts. This last time she started drama she said she did not ever want to talk to me again and told her son the same thing if he stays with me. What did I do? -Is it because I want a successful career? Because I was married before and the man I was with happened to do the one thing I wouldn't tolerate in a relationship? Of course he thinks she is acting childish as well and has not said a word to her since but what do I do when she figures out that we do really love each other and wants to be a part of our lives again?
So the problem lies here... I am scared of military life, him getting deployed and me being alone with the children (there is just my 3 year old right now) and college. I am SCARED to death that his mother is going to show up at the wedding and start some crazy drama. What do I do when she wants to be a part of our lives again? How should I calm down while I am waiting for him to return for the wedding and move us down there? I am up to the challenge, however which way it turns and whatever I need to do I will do it. I just wish I could get along with his mother and feel a little bit more comfortable with this whole situation. Maybe I should go see a therapist lol.
So any advice would be great :D Thank you.