Well, I don't think it was a matter of physical age.
My aunt got married at 21 and it's been well, about 23 years! (My mom was pregnant with me at her wedding xD) And they are as happy as they were back then.
However my parents got married to eachother at 25 and 28.. you'd think that's perfectly old enough, right? It was a 13 year long mess, because they got married for the wrong reasons.
My ex and I thought we were getting married for the right reasons.. we loved eachother a whole lot, and had the same dreams about how we wanted our lives to go. The big problem between us was lack of communication and being selfish, on both sides. I think neither of us was happy with ourselves. You can't be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself. We still both have too much emotional growing to do and now we get to do it with a pretty big, bad wound.
I have always been a pleaser.. someone who went along with what he said to make him happy, because I figured if he was happy, I was happy. And he's very impulsive and takes things to extremes. I never knew the difference between whether or not I was just being too uptight and paranoid, or if my gut was telling me not to do something because I knew it was wrong. This is why it is very important to know yourself before you get married so you know where you end and where the other person begins.
Some people have that figured out at 18, and others, at 45. I guess it's just a personal thing. I could go on all day about what went wrong, but it doesn't matter at this point.
Now why couldn't I have had this all figured out 2 years ago? x_X I guess you live and learn, right? Lol.
My aunt got married at 21 and it's been well, about 23 years! (My mom was pregnant with me at her wedding xD) And they are as happy as they were back then.
However my parents got married to eachother at 25 and 28.. you'd think that's perfectly old enough, right? It was a 13 year long mess, because they got married for the wrong reasons.
My ex and I thought we were getting married for the right reasons.. we loved eachother a whole lot, and had the same dreams about how we wanted our lives to go. The big problem between us was lack of communication and being selfish, on both sides. I think neither of us was happy with ourselves. You can't be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself. We still both have too much emotional growing to do and now we get to do it with a pretty big, bad wound.
I have always been a pleaser.. someone who went along with what he said to make him happy, because I figured if he was happy, I was happy. And he's very impulsive and takes things to extremes. I never knew the difference between whether or not I was just being too uptight and paranoid, or if my gut was telling me not to do something because I knew it was wrong. This is why it is very important to know yourself before you get married so you know where you end and where the other person begins.
Some people have that figured out at 18, and others, at 45. I guess it's just a personal thing. I could go on all day about what went wrong, but it doesn't matter at this point.
Now why couldn't I have had this all figured out 2 years ago? x_X I guess you live and learn, right? Lol.
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