Thanks for all the links, they were helpful to read : )
I'm very glad that I'm still young and can rebuild my life completely, but at the same time it's very discouraging to have "failed" at such a young age.
The difficult thing about my ex is that he *really* wants to be friends and so do I. However, I'd love some space from him right now because the anger and sadness I feel at the way he handled our separation (def. not at his best..) and even the way he treated me as a wife is just overwhelming. The problem with that is, he is moving out of the state in a month. I feel like I need to see him all I can right now cause soon the person who was my best friend, who was there every single day is just going to be gone. On top of that he really was the closest person to me and now is completely emotionally unavailable because the divorce hurts for him too, and he had feelings for someone new. He told me he just doesn't have it in him to be there for me right now, at least in a supportive way although he still wants to spend time with me. I appreciate his honesty but that hurt a whole lot.
I'm glad the links were helpful. You might be surprised at what you can find on the internet...or maybe not:) There is a lot of info out there.
Try not to look at it as a failure. It's a life lesson. It would be more of a failure if you were still stuck in a marriage where you were unhappy and neither of you were willing to move on. I know people take vows for life but that just isn't how things work out sometimes.
It sounds like your ex can't be friends right now either. Honestly, it sounds like he said that he wanted to be friends because that's the nice thing to say after he's trampled on your heart. Sure, it's nice to think you'll be friends but the wounds are much too fresh right now and he's moving away and already starting a new life with someone else! That speaks volumes to me.
If you were his current girlfriend, you probably wouldn't want him talking to his ex-wife and being her friend either, as tough as that may be to hear, she might be afraid old feelings would be rekindled. I would feel uncomfortable knowing that I needed him as a friend but he was with someone else already.
Its going to take time to heal but don't dwell on this forever. You deserve someone who wants to be with you. and in time you will learn from this and you will grow and become wiser. but in the meantime don't jump into any relationships. Take care of you and take the time you need to move on.
I'm very glad that I'm still young and can rebuild my life completely, but at the same time it's very discouraging to have "failed" at such a young age.
The difficult thing about my ex is that he *really* wants to be friends and so do I. However, I'd love some space from him right now because the anger and sadness I feel at the way he handled our separation (def. not at his best..) and even the way he treated me as a wife is just overwhelming. The problem with that is, he is moving out of the state in a month. I feel like I need to see him all I can right now cause soon the person who was my best friend, who was there every single day is just going to be gone. On top of that he really was the closest person to me and now is completely emotionally unavailable because the divorce hurts for him too, and he had feelings for someone new. He told me he just doesn't have it in him to be there for me right now, at least in a supportive way although he still wants to spend time with me. I appreciate his honesty but that hurt a whole lot.
I wish we had more time : /
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Try not to look at it as a failure. It's a life lesson. It would be more of a failure if you were still stuck in a marriage where you were unhappy and neither of you were willing to move on. I know people take vows for life but that just isn't how things work out sometimes.
It sounds like your ex can't be friends right now either. Honestly, it sounds like he said that he wanted to be friends because that's the nice thing to say after he's trampled on your heart. Sure, it's nice to think you'll be friends but the wounds are much too fresh right now and he's moving away and already starting a new life with someone else! That speaks volumes to me.
If you were his current girlfriend, you probably wouldn't want him talking to his ex-wife and being her friend either, as tough as that may be to hear, she might be afraid old feelings would be rekindled. I would feel uncomfortable knowing that I needed him as a friend but he was with someone else already.
Its going to take time to heal but don't dwell on this forever. You deserve someone who wants to be with you. and in time you will learn from this and you will grow and become wiser. but in the meantime don't jump into any relationships. Take care of you and take the time you need to move on.
Good luck.
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