Severe anxiety and insecurity in relationships
I'm dating a wonderful guy who I can honestly say is ten times better than anyone I've ever dated. He wants to spend time with me, talk to me, be around me, buy things for me (ha).....and I'm scared shitless of being cheated on. I'm insanely insecure to the point of hating myself: the way I look, the way I act, my intelligence, how my life has ended up. This feeling always gets worse with me being in a relationship. I'm always afraid the man I'm with will find someone better, fall out of love with me, be unfaithful, or worse: be unfaithful all the while he's with me and me never finding out about it. I don't trust my intuition about most people since I doubt myself so much.
These thoughts interfere with my life to the point where I can't concentrate on anything else (yeah, fucking pathetic, I know) The only way I can explain it is my self-worth seems to depend majorly (although not totally) on having a significant other. I was sexually abused as a child, my father was (and is) unstable and unreliable, not to mention misogynist; other than that, I can't think of any other reasons why I feel so damn insecure about myself and relations with the opposite sex. I love the feeling of being with someone but I hate being enslaved to my own negative feelings like this.
Anyways, I think that's enough complaining for now. I just don't know how to help myself in this scenario.
These thoughts interfere with my life to the point where I can't concentrate on anything else (yeah, fucking pathetic, I know) The only way I can explain it is my self-worth seems to depend majorly (although not totally) on having a significant other. I was sexually abused as a child, my father was (and is) unstable and unreliable, not to mention misogynist; other than that, I can't think of any other reasons why I feel so damn insecure about myself and relations with the opposite sex. I love the feeling of being with someone but I hate being enslaved to my own negative feelings like this.
Anyways, I think that's enough complaining for now. I just don't know how to help myself in this scenario.