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So why does it bother me that my boyfriend of four months can go for hours with out texting me, maybe because i have expectations of what i THINK should be happening, maybe because i have severe trust issues due to the last relationship i was in. He is trustworthy, he's showed me that much so far, but of course in my head that has been mangled and torn apart from experience and hurt i always fear the worst. He says hes always thinking about me, always wants to be with me but then can't seem to text me back so this seems to drive me crazy.
I get a bit disappointed with myself that i allow myself to react this way towards this kind of situation because it is truly the uncertainty that is causing me so much worry.. that if i had any ounce of faith at all i wouldn't be so concerned about it but i apparently have none.
I didn't have that much time to be alone after my last break up like i wanted to be. To get my self together. I had been fading from that last one for a long time but the claws were still in tact till the very end and the vicious cycle of love and hate still spinning.. when i met my current boyfriend. Who totally pursued me to no end, did everything and anything to be near me, be kind to me ect ect.. He won me and it was over for good with the other and we have been together since February.
I don't know but i never recalled a relationship that i got in that your supposed ed other half is fine not talking to you for so long, so early in the relationship. Yes it might be a few hours, yes he could be sleeping, or watching tv, of xbox but whats so fucking hard about sending a text saying what you were doing? Especially when you know that i have enough negative shit already flying around my head, now you wanna have me doubt you too? I fear that i am going to ruin this because of the way i am. No one wants a person that has issues like this and asks questions so much... has no faith in it. I never was like this before in a new relationship so why am i now?
I wish i could turn it off. I wish that I could do as others do to me and be strong and carefree about it and not let such little things such as this bother me so much. To not lose myself just because im with someone again but to make myself better WITH that person. We are separate and i have to remember that not everyone does things how you would do it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care, doesn't mean hes doing anything bad. I suppose i just wish he would think about me more, like he says he does and TELL ME... I don't think he does it on purpose, i believe in him genuinely. I think i just need to try very hard to realize that these things aren't always bad like my head says or thinks they are. Just because someone totally fucked you up and over doesn't mean everyone is going to be that way. I wanted to start writing here again because of these thoughts, a place to vent about shit even if no one is reading it. I don't want to ruin this or anything because i am so negative or the doubt, trust and shit issues that i possess. I need to get my back bone straight again and be as nonchalant as i can be... not care so much i guess.. and see what happens when i start acting and doing the same.
I get a bit disappointed with myself that i allow myself to react this way towards this kind of situation because it is truly the uncertainty that is causing me so much worry.. that if i had any ounce of faith at all i wouldn't be so concerned about it but i apparently have none.
I didn't have that much time to be alone after my last break up like i wanted to be. To get my self together. I had been fading from that last one for a long time but the claws were still in tact till the very end and the vicious cycle of love and hate still spinning.. when i met my current boyfriend. Who totally pursued me to no end, did everything and anything to be near me, be kind to me ect ect.. He won me and it was over for good with the other and we have been together since February.
I don't know but i never recalled a relationship that i got in that your supposed ed other half is fine not talking to you for so long, so early in the relationship. Yes it might be a few hours, yes he could be sleeping, or watching tv, of xbox but whats so fucking hard about sending a text saying what you were doing? Especially when you know that i have enough negative shit already flying around my head, now you wanna have me doubt you too? I fear that i am going to ruin this because of the way i am. No one wants a person that has issues like this and asks questions so much... has no faith in it. I never was like this before in a new relationship so why am i now?
I wish i could turn it off. I wish that I could do as others do to me and be strong and carefree about it and not let such little things such as this bother me so much. To not lose myself just because im with someone again but to make myself better WITH that person. We are separate and i have to remember that not everyone does things how you would do it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care, doesn't mean hes doing anything bad. I suppose i just wish he would think about me more, like he says he does and TELL ME... I don't think he does it on purpose, i believe in him genuinely. I think i just need to try very hard to realize that these things aren't always bad like my head says or thinks they are. Just because someone totally fucked you up and over doesn't mean everyone is going to be that way. I wanted to start writing here again because of these thoughts, a place to vent about shit even if no one is reading it. I don't want to ruin this or anything because i am so negative or the doubt, trust and shit issues that i possess. I need to get my back bone straight again and be as nonchalant as i can be... not care so much i guess.. and see what happens when i start acting and doing the same.