wheezysgal
in
advice
ENTJ-INxJ and a weird little international courtship
I was wondering if anybody could help me out with this situation. I’ve been friends with this 25-yr-old guy for about a year now (I’m 20). He just graduated at the top of his honors class in marketing, interned in London this summer for a major company, is incredibly smart, insanely good looking, knows how to handle money, owns a business since he was 16, was an international ballet dancer - yada yada yada… he’s awesome. He knows this too.
He started talking to me out of nowhere - later, he said he loved my name (which is really unusual). He continued to “bug” me in gchat all the time. I had a lot going on at the time - I’m at the top of my game as well, travelling to over three continents in the last year, an honors student in philosophy and English, work as a marketing assistant and a secretary, an artist… etc. (Oh, and I don’t think I’m bad looking at all.) I was going through a break up at the time - which this guy talked me through and covered my ass in class when I took a week off - and my interest level was about zero.
Besides, he talked about himself all the time. He could carry a conversation completely on his own, which was nice because I was horribly depressed and didn’t have a lot to say. And yet… he kept coming around. After some time, he began to reveal a little bit more of himself, and one day I was surprised to see he did have a soul. He’s had a very lucky upbringing and hasn’t faced 1/10th of the problems I have, which at the time he knew nothing about.
Our chats continued for a couple months before we finally started to see one another sparsely outside of class. I began to tell him more about my life - and he was impressed at all the obstacles I have overcome. I didn’t push attention on him, which I think was new for him. He said that he is really happy being alone. He was with a girl for four years and she left him - he was crushed, went from type B to a type A, and never really looked back. We chatted about everything - he would tell me when he had girls chase him and whatnot, how that made him feel, what pissed him off in the world, basically anything. Our friendship became stronger, and it was clear that he liked me, at least as a friend. When I was sick in China, he panicked and called one of our mutual friends to make sure I was ok. He’s a good guy.
I returned home and we went on a declared date. It was amazing. He walked me back to my apartment building and we made out on bench for a while - my claiming it didn’t mean anything to me. And it doesn’t, really - I’ve been casual with people in the past and I knew that’s the best road to go down as I’m leaving for England.
I didn’t contact him for a couple of days. I felt a huge amount of chemistry after that, and if the circumstances were right, we would have gone back and done a lot more than snogging. But he contacted me, gauging (as all men do) how attached I was. I wasn’t attached, in fact I was a little terrified. But we resumed our constant chatting and didn’t mention anything other than the fact we both had an amazing time together.
We were both back in town and went out for pizza - great discussion, but he was pulled away physically and didn’t try anything. He was disappointed about a turned down job offer in San Francisco the next night, and he wanted my company. We went back and had a great time watching movies, but again, nothing physical - he even seemed to push me out of the car. He was back in town again for another job interview, and we watched Rear Window in his apartment last night - six hours of a good time, but the only physical thing was when I leaned my head on his shoulder and he seemed tense.
I have anther male friend who said he’s a little scared - we do have chemistry, and he does keep coming around, but neither of us really want to get burned again. He’s job hunting and I’m leaving the country in a bit, so I can see how he’d rationalize his way out of this. (BTW - if you know anything about Myer Briggs, he’s and ENTJ and I’m an INxJ) I texted him late last night that I wouldn’t mind kissing him again, as a going away present, but I have no understanding of his behavior at all.
So lovelies, what are your thoughts?
He started talking to me out of nowhere - later, he said he loved my name (which is really unusual). He continued to “bug” me in gchat all the time. I had a lot going on at the time - I’m at the top of my game as well, travelling to over three continents in the last year, an honors student in philosophy and English, work as a marketing assistant and a secretary, an artist… etc. (Oh, and I don’t think I’m bad looking at all.) I was going through a break up at the time - which this guy talked me through and covered my ass in class when I took a week off - and my interest level was about zero.
Besides, he talked about himself all the time. He could carry a conversation completely on his own, which was nice because I was horribly depressed and didn’t have a lot to say. And yet… he kept coming around. After some time, he began to reveal a little bit more of himself, and one day I was surprised to see he did have a soul. He’s had a very lucky upbringing and hasn’t faced 1/10th of the problems I have, which at the time he knew nothing about.
Our chats continued for a couple months before we finally started to see one another sparsely outside of class. I began to tell him more about my life - and he was impressed at all the obstacles I have overcome. I didn’t push attention on him, which I think was new for him. He said that he is really happy being alone. He was with a girl for four years and she left him - he was crushed, went from type B to a type A, and never really looked back. We chatted about everything - he would tell me when he had girls chase him and whatnot, how that made him feel, what pissed him off in the world, basically anything. Our friendship became stronger, and it was clear that he liked me, at least as a friend. When I was sick in China, he panicked and called one of our mutual friends to make sure I was ok. He’s a good guy.
I returned home and we went on a declared date. It was amazing. He walked me back to my apartment building and we made out on bench for a while - my claiming it didn’t mean anything to me. And it doesn’t, really - I’ve been casual with people in the past and I knew that’s the best road to go down as I’m leaving for England.
I didn’t contact him for a couple of days. I felt a huge amount of chemistry after that, and if the circumstances were right, we would have gone back and done a lot more than snogging. But he contacted me, gauging (as all men do) how attached I was. I wasn’t attached, in fact I was a little terrified. But we resumed our constant chatting and didn’t mention anything other than the fact we both had an amazing time together.
We were both back in town and went out for pizza - great discussion, but he was pulled away physically and didn’t try anything. He was disappointed about a turned down job offer in San Francisco the next night, and he wanted my company. We went back and had a great time watching movies, but again, nothing physical - he even seemed to push me out of the car. He was back in town again for another job interview, and we watched Rear Window in his apartment last night - six hours of a good time, but the only physical thing was when I leaned my head on his shoulder and he seemed tense.
I have anther male friend who said he’s a little scared - we do have chemistry, and he does keep coming around, but neither of us really want to get burned again. He’s job hunting and I’m leaving the country in a bit, so I can see how he’d rationalize his way out of this. (BTW - if you know anything about Myer Briggs, he’s and ENTJ and I’m an INxJ) I texted him late last night that I wouldn’t mind kissing him again, as a going away present, but I have no understanding of his behavior at all.
So lovelies, what are your thoughts?