Overcoming Jealousy
I can be a very jealous person. Does anyone have any advice for overcoming jealousy?
I've struggled with this one for years. I'm a gigging musician. I've always been jealous of musicians who are younger and more successful than I am. Instead of encouraging them or being happy for others, I become angry and feel like I need to compete. Part of it is how I was raised. I grew up in an environment which made me believe I was never good enough, I'll never amount to anything, I'm not special, etc. I don't want to be envious of other musicians but little by little jealousy creeps in and eventually, I end up hating someone who I could be having a great time playing with.
Another one that's been an issue lately is my SO's daughter. This is a long complicated situation, but I'll sum it up in a couple sentences. We're very tight on money right now. I can't find a job (aside from playing music on the weekends) and have been looking for 10 months. His daughter (who lives with her mother, and very far away) comes to visit us about once a month. Long story short, we spend A LOT of money on her, which I'm all for when we have money to spend. We don't have excess money right now, and I feel like I work hard at my music career, and spending hours job searching and interviewing, and then we throw out our emergency funds in order to take her out on some expensive leisure activity. Instead of talking to my SO about it, I am becoming jealous of her. I understand this is the wrong way to handle the situation, yet my feelings towards her don't change.
There are more situations, but I wanted to highlight these two. Does anyone know of any ways to help me change my jealous mindset? I understand it's a problem and I don't want to continue to cut down these relationships that I could be building up. I'm just not sure how to take the first step in stopping this bad habit.
I've struggled with this one for years. I'm a gigging musician. I've always been jealous of musicians who are younger and more successful than I am. Instead of encouraging them or being happy for others, I become angry and feel like I need to compete. Part of it is how I was raised. I grew up in an environment which made me believe I was never good enough, I'll never amount to anything, I'm not special, etc. I don't want to be envious of other musicians but little by little jealousy creeps in and eventually, I end up hating someone who I could be having a great time playing with.
Another one that's been an issue lately is my SO's daughter. This is a long complicated situation, but I'll sum it up in a couple sentences. We're very tight on money right now. I can't find a job (aside from playing music on the weekends) and have been looking for 10 months. His daughter (who lives with her mother, and very far away) comes to visit us about once a month. Long story short, we spend A LOT of money on her, which I'm all for when we have money to spend. We don't have excess money right now, and I feel like I work hard at my music career, and spending hours job searching and interviewing, and then we throw out our emergency funds in order to take her out on some expensive leisure activity. Instead of talking to my SO about it, I am becoming jealous of her. I understand this is the wrong way to handle the situation, yet my feelings towards her don't change.
There are more situations, but I wanted to highlight these two. Does anyone know of any ways to help me change my jealous mindset? I understand it's a problem and I don't want to continue to cut down these relationships that I could be building up. I'm just not sure how to take the first step in stopping this bad habit.