Part 1 of 2glittercat13August 3 2006, 00:03:33 UTC
Yes, Darlin', as long as you're breathin', you can wake up. Knowing that you're sleepwalking through life is a first step. My best suggestion for a second step (and one, I'm pretty sure, you won't want to hear) is AA. It is only a single step but it addresses one of the issues which is more clear-cut and (truly) easier to deal with. It also can open doors on a network to give you access to other steps.
The first one of those might be finding a counsellor who is right for you and with whom you can work out a payment scale to fit your budget. Somewhere in there will have to be finding a new job.
Also, say to the lady in your life what you've said here. If she's worth having around (and not totally burnt from time already spent in the relationship), she can help provide the grounding you need to move forward. (Note here that I said *help*. She can't "fix" your life. Neither can I. Neither can a counsellor or AA or anything else outside of *YOU.* You, and only you, have the power to dig yourself into a hole and to climb back out again. YOU ARE MIGHTY!!!
Getting alcohol out of your life will certainly help you - healthwise, relationshipwise, jobwise, moneywise, and in no longer evading your daemons but, rather, facing and conquering them. (Yeah, I know, that's scarey sh*t but, I am serious, you are a very, very strong person. If you don't believe that, then at least believe that I *know* it about you.)
Getting a job will help your feelings of self-worth, your ability to afford the necessities and (some of) the luxuries of life (including the aforementioned councelling). It will also probably help your relationship with your lady.
Getting a counsellor will help a lot. (s)he won't be able to fix you. Like I said, that's something only you can do. However, (s)he will be able to act as a guide, mirror back some of the stuff you say/think/believe so that you can do your own can get your own reality check, suggest ways you can help yourself, and provide you with a vital gift: A reality check that's not coming from you (looking through the funhouse mirror of your eyes at your own soul is far from dispassionate), those who like and/or love you, family, friends, or *anyone* else who has some sort of vested interest. It can be such a gift to get a point of view/reality check from a *professional* who can give you an unbiased (mostly) opinion.
You've just had a birthday. You're not happy with where you are in your life right now nor where you've been. I'm guessing that you're feeling old, tired, frustrated, caged and, perhaps, like there's no way out of the hole you feel like you're in. I don't know anyone who hasn't been there at one or more points in their life. I know too many people who perpetually live there. You don't have to. You, however, are the only one who can make the change. The ideas I've thrown out are early steps on that road. If you take them, I suspect you'll find lots of other steps as you travel and they will be the right ones for you.
The first one of those might be finding a counsellor who is right for you and with whom you can work out a payment scale to fit your budget. Somewhere in there will have to be finding a new job.
Also, say to the lady in your life what you've said here. If she's worth having around (and not totally burnt from time already spent in the relationship), she can help provide the grounding you need to move forward. (Note here that I said *help*. She can't "fix" your life. Neither can I. Neither can a counsellor or AA or anything else outside of *YOU.* You, and only you, have the power to dig yourself into a hole and to climb back out again. YOU ARE MIGHTY!!!
Getting alcohol out of your life will certainly help you - healthwise, relationshipwise, jobwise, moneywise, and in no longer evading your daemons but, rather, facing and conquering them. (Yeah, I know, that's scarey sh*t but, I am serious, you are a very, very strong person. If you don't believe that, then at least believe that I *know* it about you.)
Getting a job will help your feelings of self-worth, your ability to afford the necessities and (some of) the luxuries of life (including the aforementioned councelling). It will also probably help your relationship with your lady.
Getting a counsellor will help a lot. (s)he won't be able to fix you. Like I said, that's something only you can do. However, (s)he will be able to act as a guide, mirror back some of the stuff you say/think/believe so that you can do your own can get your own reality check, suggest ways you can help yourself, and provide you with a vital gift: A reality check that's not coming from you (looking through the funhouse mirror of your eyes at your own soul is far from dispassionate), those who like and/or love you, family, friends, or *anyone* else who has some sort of vested interest. It can be such a gift to get a point of view/reality check from a *professional* who can give you an unbiased (mostly) opinion.
You've just had a birthday. You're not happy with where you are in your life right now nor where you've been. I'm guessing that you're feeling old, tired, frustrated, caged and, perhaps, like there's no way out of the hole you feel like you're in. I don't know anyone who hasn't been there at one or more points in their life. I know too many people who perpetually live there. You don't have to. You, however, are the only one who can make the change. The ideas I've thrown out are early steps on that road. If you take them, I suspect you'll find lots of other steps as you travel and they will be the right ones for you.
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