toma should quit JE, form a duo with shirota yuu and go around pleasuring women. oh yes.
You know how previously, I always thought that nobody could top Squeenix when it came to whoring itself out to the fangirls? I take back what I said. I am wrong. So wrong. I was a young and naive child who did not know how the world worked without the JOHNNY'S.
And my discovery of them was like being slapped on the back by baby Jesus. Good job there, Isa. Good job.
First and foremost, by frog-leaping from LJ comm to LJ comm, I have come across THIS VIDEO RIGHT HERE:
This does wonders for my soul. I watch it ten times a day just to see Toma make funny facial expressions when he sings and see Kame sway thrust I WANT THRUSTING DAMMIT sway his hips in what I personally believe is a crime against all females. To quote Jade, my ovaries explode on sight when I watch this damn video. I am now at the risk of dying from multiple internal hemorrhages, but I will accept it because I am a weak moth drawn towards TOMA'S DISINTEGRATING FLAME OF LOVE.
UNF UNF UNF ahem.
Also, I slow dance to this song in the bathroom. I am not afraid to admit it. I shampoo my hair to the beat of this song.
Hormonal slobbering aside, Toma's voice is probably the one best suited for this of the three. He knows how to control it enough that it dips and rises smoothly when it is necessary and his voice is just so pleasant that I like singing along with him during his parts. I don't know if it's a fluke though; I listened to his other covers and they just sort of fall flat compared to this one. In the back of my head, I am desperately hoping for him to do a full studio version of Asahi Wo Mi Ni Ikou Yo on his own, but him having never debuted as a Johnny's singer, the chances of that are slim to none.
Baby Jesus, I'm counting on you. Don't let me down.
And yet, even though I think Toma's voice is the most suited for this song, it's Kame who steals the show. Just, the hip-swaying? Coupled with the air knock and then the collar grab?
I CAME OCEANS.
Sexiest thing I have seen in since that video of Vaness Wu ripping his shirt open and just rippling his abs at the camera, and that's saying something since Vaness has the meat of his man-muscles working for him while Kame has girly hair and the body mass of a particularly fit ballpen. I'd still jump you on sight, Kamenashi-love. My love is stronger than any restraining order.
But what about Kazama Shunsuke, who's name I can never remember even though I've googled it as many times as I've watched this video? Zilch. He has this cute moment near the ending where he's emitting puppy vibes that make me want to squish him, but it's sort of run over the moment the camera pans over to Kame and Toma, and I remember him only when I replay the video and I see the squishy face again. Then the cycle repeats.
----
And now we interrupt our this hormone fest with a question:
BONER RANGKINGS:
1. Ikuta Toma (one true love beats them all)
2. Nishikido Ryo (because he has this photoshoot spread with Toma, and they're both topless, but his abs are so chiseled I suspect divine fire was involved, like in the making of the Ten Commandments)
3. Sho Sakurai
4. Ohno Satoshi (Bukol King wins)
5. Akanishi Jin or Kamenashi Kazuya (even if that makes me a lesbian)
5.5 Oguri Shun or Shirota Yuu (fine they're not Johnny's but they deserve to be mentioned)
6. Any of the other Johnnys but Yamapi (fine, MatsuJun can have this place
7. Ever other man in the world.
8. The devil or Yamapi
Speaking of Yamapi. EWWW. He fills me with an unnatural dislike that can spark forest fires. Maybe it's because he's so attached to Toma. Why is he always in mai husbando's spaaaaaaaace? I can't tell for sure if it's his eyes that I find detestable or his bleached side bang, but just the sight of him makes me want to throw a gnash my teeth at unsuspecting strangers. Die monster die.
----
And we're back to Toma.
You know what I absolutely adore about him? It's his nose. If he didn't have that nose, I probably wouldn't like him AT ALL. But it's there, and it's hooked and is probably what the term 'hawkish' means, but it's wonderful and even though I wouldn't rape his nose, I'd rape him because of it. Does that even still make sense?
Also, I've taken to reading his monthly columns. They're like blog entries, only a little longer than average, and the weird Japanese linguistic structure makes me high like a dork playing WoW, but I cannot make myself care because it's such fun and I eat it all up like chocolate and apple pie. And even though I'm aware that this is all just his public front, that there's a chance he's not really like this in person, my brain sort of just rejects the idea and craves more.
Obsessed doesn't even begin to cover it, but that's normal for me.
Addendum:
I'm listening to the mp3 rip I have of the above posted video (o is for otaku) and I keep hearing the girls screaming "KAME!" while Toma's singing the first verse. I WANT TO BRICK THEM.
And my discovery of them was like being slapped on the back by baby Jesus. Good job there, Isa. Good job.
First and foremost, by frog-leaping from LJ comm to LJ comm, I have come across THIS VIDEO RIGHT HERE:
Click to viewThis does wonders for my soul. I watch it ten times a day just to see Toma make funny facial expressions when he sings and see Kame sway thrust I WANT THRUSTING DAMMIT sway his hips in what I personally believe is a crime against all females. To quote Jade, my ovaries explode on sight when I watch this damn video. I am now at the risk of dying from multiple internal hemorrhages, but I will accept it because I am a weak moth drawn towards TOMA'S DISINTEGRATING FLAME OF LOVE.
UNF UNF UNF ahem.
Also, I slow dance to this song in the bathroom. I am not afraid to admit it. I shampoo my hair to the beat of this song.
Hormonal slobbering aside, Toma's voice is probably the one best suited for this of the three. He knows how to control it enough that it dips and rises smoothly when it is necessary and his voice is just so pleasant that I like singing along with him during his parts. I don't know if it's a fluke though; I listened to his other covers and they just sort of fall flat compared to this one. In the back of my head, I am desperately hoping for him to do a full studio version of Asahi Wo Mi Ni Ikou Yo on his own, but him having never debuted as a Johnny's singer, the chances of that are slim to none.
Baby Jesus, I'm counting on you. Don't let me down.
And yet, even though I think Toma's voice is the most suited for this song, it's Kame who steals the show. Just, the hip-swaying? Coupled with the air knock and then the collar grab?
I CAME OCEANS.
Sexiest thing I have seen in since that video of Vaness Wu ripping his shirt open and just rippling his abs at the camera, and that's saying something since Vaness has the meat of his man-muscles working for him while Kame has girly hair and the body mass of a particularly fit ballpen. I'd still jump you on sight, Kamenashi-love. My love is stronger than any restraining order.
But what about Kazama Shunsuke, who's name I can never remember even though I've googled it as many times as I've watched this video? Zilch. He has this cute moment near the ending where he's emitting puppy vibes that make me want to squish him, but it's sort of run over the moment the camera pans over to Kame and Toma, and I remember him only when I replay the video and I see the squishy face again. Then the cycle repeats.
----
And now we interrupt our this hormone fest with a question:
BONER RANGKINGS:
1. Ikuta Toma (one true love beats them all)
2. Nishikido Ryo (because he has this photoshoot spread with Toma, and they're both topless, but his abs are so chiseled I suspect divine fire was involved, like in the making of the Ten Commandments)
3. Sho Sakurai
4. Ohno Satoshi (Bukol King wins)
5. Akanishi Jin or Kamenashi Kazuya (even if that makes me a lesbian)
5.5 Oguri Shun or Shirota Yuu (fine they're not Johnny's but they deserve to be mentioned)
6. Any of the other Johnnys but Yamapi (fine, MatsuJun can have this place
7. Ever other man in the world.
8. The devil or Yamapi
Speaking of Yamapi. EWWW. He fills me with an unnatural dislike that can spark forest fires. Maybe it's because he's so attached to Toma. Why is he always in mai husbando's spaaaaaaaace? I can't tell for sure if it's his eyes that I find detestable or his bleached side bang, but just the sight of him makes me want to throw a gnash my teeth at unsuspecting strangers. Die monster die.
----
And we're back to Toma.
You know what I absolutely adore about him? It's his nose. If he didn't have that nose, I probably wouldn't like him AT ALL. But it's there, and it's hooked and is probably what the term 'hawkish' means, but it's wonderful and even though I wouldn't rape his nose, I'd rape him because of it. Does that even still make sense?
Also, I've taken to reading his monthly columns. They're like blog entries, only a little longer than average, and the weird Japanese linguistic structure makes me high like a dork playing WoW, but I cannot make myself care because it's such fun and I eat it all up like chocolate and apple pie. And even though I'm aware that this is all just his public front, that there's a chance he's not really like this in person, my brain sort of just rejects the idea and craves more.
Obsessed doesn't even begin to cover it, but that's normal for me.
Addendum:
I'm listening to the mp3 rip I have of the above posted video (o is for otaku) and I keep hearing the girls screaming "KAME!" while Toma's singing the first verse. I WANT TO BRICK THEM.