He grew a beard...
Original
He grew a beard. It was the easiest solution he could think of. Later, he would realise that a scarf would have been as useful for his purposes, and require almost no time to put on. In any case, he stayed in the house for a week, for he was not one of those men who grew 5 o'clock shadows at noon, and to go out with a scraggly patch would have defeated his purpose entirely, not to mention make it likely he would be mistaken for one of those bums who lurked at the street corners at night. Of course, if he had looked like one of them in the first place, none of this would have happened and there would be no need for a beard. It was silly though, once you thought about it, and probably made no sense to anyone other than himself, with his fragile self-esteem. How to explain to his friends his utter embarrassment at being unable to defend himself against a vagrant who had attacked him with, of all things, a pencil?
Cut-up
Of course, if he had looked for the easiest solution he could think of, none of these scarves would have been. There would be no need and require almost no time too. Once, you thought, he stayed in the house for a week! No sense to anyone, these men who grew 5 o'clock fragile self-esteems. How to go out with a scraggly patch? With utter embarrassment entirely, not to mention pitting himself against the vagrants, mistaken for one of those with a pencil on all the street corners at night. Like one of them. He grew a beard. It was what would have happened. Later he would realise, for a beard, it was silly. Useful for his purposes? Nothing good about it, and probably made up. In any case, rather than himself (for he was not one to explain to his friends his shadow at noon and being unable to defend would have defeated whomever had attacked him, making it likely he would think) bums who lurked.
Rewrite
(This took the form of a fictional Twitter feed and isn't really that interesting, except as a sort of first-time writing experiment for me. I'll e-mail it to you if you're really that keen to read it.)
He grew a beard. It was the easiest solution he could think of. Later, he would realise that a scarf would have been as useful for his purposes, and require almost no time to put on. In any case, he stayed in the house for a week, for he was not one of those men who grew 5 o'clock shadows at noon, and to go out with a scraggly patch would have defeated his purpose entirely, not to mention make it likely he would be mistaken for one of those bums who lurked at the street corners at night. Of course, if he had looked like one of them in the first place, none of this would have happened and there would be no need for a beard. It was silly though, once you thought about it, and probably made no sense to anyone other than himself, with his fragile self-esteem. How to explain to his friends his utter embarrassment at being unable to defend himself against a vagrant who had attacked him with, of all things, a pencil?
Cut-up
Of course, if he had looked for the easiest solution he could think of, none of these scarves would have been. There would be no need and require almost no time too. Once, you thought, he stayed in the house for a week! No sense to anyone, these men who grew 5 o'clock fragile self-esteems. How to go out with a scraggly patch? With utter embarrassment entirely, not to mention pitting himself against the vagrants, mistaken for one of those with a pencil on all the street corners at night. Like one of them. He grew a beard. It was what would have happened. Later he would realise, for a beard, it was silly. Useful for his purposes? Nothing good about it, and probably made up. In any case, rather than himself (for he was not one to explain to his friends his shadow at noon and being unable to defend would have defeated whomever had attacked him, making it likely he would think) bums who lurked.
Rewrite
(This took the form of a fictional Twitter feed and isn't really that interesting, except as a sort of first-time writing experiment for me. I'll e-mail it to you if you're really that keen to read it.)