"This angry storm of slamming doors and broken glass"
I feel like I only post here when I'm upset anymore. I guess two in a row isn't TOO many, but it feels like it would be annoying to whatever audience there is (hai guyz).
It's all the same old shit, so I don't know that rehashing any of it will help. Katrina's too rigid and can't take what she gives, Dad's inconsiderate and lazy and can't bear to be held up to his own standards, Nick's distant and has no interest in spending time with any of us because of tensions (which I mostly but not completely blame on Dad and Katrina - mostly Dad because he's awful). Mostly I'm jealous of Nick because he has so many friends around who are also on summer vacation so he can just leave and doesn't have to come back to the house if he doesn't want to. I have 2 friends left here, and they're both busy all the time. I have nowhere I could go, and I desperately need to be somewhere else, especially now that Dad's school is out and he's home all day, too.
I am trying desperately to get a plan together, but of course nothing is good enough. I keep getting "helpful" suggestions for job-hunting, and of course earfuls about how stupid and terrible my brother is for the same reason. I just can't deal with it. In 3 weeks, we will all be going to Disney World for a week, which I'm really excited about. After that, I'm basically planning to pack all my stuff and move to New Orleans as quickly as possible. I've been keeping an eye on craigslist for jobs, and have been emailing about them, but nothing has happened so far. My "plan," if I still haven't found something when I get there, is to sign up for bartending school and try to get something that way. Because honestly, as long as I can remember drink recipes I should be able to find a bartending job no problem (unless they need you to be cocktail-waitress hot, at which point I'd hope there were other openings). It's not what I'd like to do lifelong, but it'd be something to fall back on, probably.
I'm just SUPER frustrated that life at home is basically not possible anymore. I mean, I knew it would be difficult, but there's just SO much stress here. I have real struggles with my sister, and Dad is impossible. I just can't be around him. Enough so that sometimes (like now), I consider just ending contact with the whole family to get rid of him. It wouldn't be ideal, and I would miss them, but I wouldn't miss him. I'm pretty confident he's made sure of that. He doesn't have a soul, just an ego he uses in its place.
I REALLY need to have a way out of here.
It's all the same old shit, so I don't know that rehashing any of it will help. Katrina's too rigid and can't take what she gives, Dad's inconsiderate and lazy and can't bear to be held up to his own standards, Nick's distant and has no interest in spending time with any of us because of tensions (which I mostly but not completely blame on Dad and Katrina - mostly Dad because he's awful). Mostly I'm jealous of Nick because he has so many friends around who are also on summer vacation so he can just leave and doesn't have to come back to the house if he doesn't want to. I have 2 friends left here, and they're both busy all the time. I have nowhere I could go, and I desperately need to be somewhere else, especially now that Dad's school is out and he's home all day, too.
I am trying desperately to get a plan together, but of course nothing is good enough. I keep getting "helpful" suggestions for job-hunting, and of course earfuls about how stupid and terrible my brother is for the same reason. I just can't deal with it. In 3 weeks, we will all be going to Disney World for a week, which I'm really excited about. After that, I'm basically planning to pack all my stuff and move to New Orleans as quickly as possible. I've been keeping an eye on craigslist for jobs, and have been emailing about them, but nothing has happened so far. My "plan," if I still haven't found something when I get there, is to sign up for bartending school and try to get something that way. Because honestly, as long as I can remember drink recipes I should be able to find a bartending job no problem (unless they need you to be cocktail-waitress hot, at which point I'd hope there were other openings). It's not what I'd like to do lifelong, but it'd be something to fall back on, probably.
I'm just SUPER frustrated that life at home is basically not possible anymore. I mean, I knew it would be difficult, but there's just SO much stress here. I have real struggles with my sister, and Dad is impossible. I just can't be around him. Enough so that sometimes (like now), I consider just ending contact with the whole family to get rid of him. It wouldn't be ideal, and I would miss them, but I wouldn't miss him. I'm pretty confident he's made sure of that. He doesn't have a soul, just an ego he uses in its place.
I REALLY need to have a way out of here.