Lux Æterna
6:49pm - I'm about to take a shower; excuse me if I rush through this.
Tomorrow starts my junior year of college (my senior year, too, for that matter). Exciting, to say the least, that only a year ago I had the equivalent of, well, no education, and in less than a week I'll be graduating from and associate's program, and beginning the next step.
I know it's not January 1st, but it's a new year for me. Time to wipe clean all the things that went wrong in the last one. So much time was wasted on stupid girls, and fancy drinks, and feeble attempts to make any sort of difference in someone's life. You live and you learn, I guess.
I finished a chapter in the book I didn't mention I was writing. It's really not that exciting, but I'm surprised at how many words I could coherently put together without breaking too many of the rules of grammar. I've written long essays before, but never anything like this. It seems easier when you know the subject really well.
For those of you that don't know, I also started doing some graphic design. I'm really not great, but I put a few of the things I've done up on my myspace. I had my first paying job for it too - $100 for a logo; pretty sweet (it's the last image in the graphic design album, if you checked).
I can kinda feel myself winding down a hole again - not really the most fun I've had in a while, but I'm confident that this one's not too deep. I don't even know why really, oh wait, yes I do, but I'm going to continue to tell myself that it's not the reason. But I figured out what I want in life.... I've probably said that before, but I think this one's the real thing. It's not success or financial stability or any one of the generic new year's resolutions that no one follows through with - those are easy. Really, what I want is incredibly simple, too, but I can't think of anyone that might actually have it.
I missed someone else today - why is this happening, I couldn't tell you. The last thing I've ever wanted is to be dependent on someone's presence. It was triggered by something I found as I was moving the rest of my stuff today. It's been locked in a box for almost two years now, but somehow it made it's way into my hands today. She'd never believe me if I told her how special it was to me (in fact, I think I have, and she just shrugged), but coincidentally, when I got home she had left me a message. Just a short, little bit that queried my life currently. It made me feel missed, which was nice.
I need to post more poetry, it's been a while. I've written tons (did I mention I finished writing a chapter of a book?), songs too, but I just haven't had the energy to do anything with them. I don't know, I'll figure it out.
Anyway, back to that shower I was talking about.
-spence
Tomorrow starts my junior year of college (my senior year, too, for that matter). Exciting, to say the least, that only a year ago I had the equivalent of, well, no education, and in less than a week I'll be graduating from and associate's program, and beginning the next step.
I know it's not January 1st, but it's a new year for me. Time to wipe clean all the things that went wrong in the last one. So much time was wasted on stupid girls, and fancy drinks, and feeble attempts to make any sort of difference in someone's life. You live and you learn, I guess.
I finished a chapter in the book I didn't mention I was writing. It's really not that exciting, but I'm surprised at how many words I could coherently put together without breaking too many of the rules of grammar. I've written long essays before, but never anything like this. It seems easier when you know the subject really well.
For those of you that don't know, I also started doing some graphic design. I'm really not great, but I put a few of the things I've done up on my myspace. I had my first paying job for it too - $100 for a logo; pretty sweet (it's the last image in the graphic design album, if you checked).
I can kinda feel myself winding down a hole again - not really the most fun I've had in a while, but I'm confident that this one's not too deep. I don't even know why really, oh wait, yes I do, but I'm going to continue to tell myself that it's not the reason. But I figured out what I want in life.... I've probably said that before, but I think this one's the real thing. It's not success or financial stability or any one of the generic new year's resolutions that no one follows through with - those are easy. Really, what I want is incredibly simple, too, but I can't think of anyone that might actually have it.
I missed someone else today - why is this happening, I couldn't tell you. The last thing I've ever wanted is to be dependent on someone's presence. It was triggered by something I found as I was moving the rest of my stuff today. It's been locked in a box for almost two years now, but somehow it made it's way into my hands today. She'd never believe me if I told her how special it was to me (in fact, I think I have, and she just shrugged), but coincidentally, when I got home she had left me a message. Just a short, little bit that queried my life currently. It made me feel missed, which was nice.
I need to post more poetry, it's been a while. I've written tons (did I mention I finished writing a chapter of a book?), songs too, but I just haven't had the energy to do anything with them. I don't know, I'll figure it out.
Anyway, back to that shower I was talking about.
-spence