One Hell of a Woman - Kingsley/Helga - R
Title: One Hell of a Woman
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: Hard R
Warning: Bizarro pairing, snarky gargoyles, sexually explicit...something.
Word Count: 2847
Genre: Semi-humourous smut, crack!pairing
Characters: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Quirinus Quirrell, Lorcan d'Eath, Professor Midgen (OC), staff room gargoyles, Helga Hufflepuff (sort of)
Pairings: Kingsley/Helga (insofar as it is possible)
Synopsis: During his seventh year at Hogwarts, Kingsley becomes curious about the founder of his house.
Timeline: Late 1982
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Please don't sue me.
Author's Note: Written for the September challenge at hp_adult (Kingsley/Helga, the staff room). I apparently cannot write PWP, especially not for a bizarro pairing like this one. It was incredibly hard to make this pairing work, but I hope you enjoy the results. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please report any errors or inconsistencies.
Excerpt:
Kingsley chuckled.
Quirinus glanced up, distracted. "Care to share, Kings?"
Lorcan cast them a shifty look out of the corner of his eye and went back to his reading.
Kingsley shrugged his own broad shoulders. "Nothing. Just thinking that Helga Hufflepuff must have been one hell of a woman."
"If you say so," Quirinus said skeptically. "But I bet she had nothing on Ravenclaw."
Kingsley leaned across the table toward the other boy. "I'd take that bet, if I thought there was any way of proving it. I've heard Ravenclaw was pretty enough, but Hufflepuff --" He shook his head. "-- That woman had appetites."
(One Hell of a Woman)
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: Hard R
Warning: Bizarro pairing, snarky gargoyles, sexually explicit...something.
Word Count: 2847
Genre: Semi-humourous smut, crack!pairing
Characters: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Quirinus Quirrell, Lorcan d'Eath, Professor Midgen (OC), staff room gargoyles, Helga Hufflepuff (sort of)
Pairings: Kingsley/Helga (insofar as it is possible)
Synopsis: During his seventh year at Hogwarts, Kingsley becomes curious about the founder of his house.
Timeline: Late 1982
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Please don't sue me.
Author's Note: Written for the September challenge at hp_adult (Kingsley/Helga, the staff room). I apparently cannot write PWP, especially not for a bizarro pairing like this one. It was incredibly hard to make this pairing work, but I hope you enjoy the results. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please report any errors or inconsistencies.
Excerpt:
Kingsley chuckled.
Quirinus glanced up, distracted. "Care to share, Kings?"
Lorcan cast them a shifty look out of the corner of his eye and went back to his reading.
Kingsley shrugged his own broad shoulders. "Nothing. Just thinking that Helga Hufflepuff must have been one hell of a woman."
"If you say so," Quirinus said skeptically. "But I bet she had nothing on Ravenclaw."
Kingsley leaned across the table toward the other boy. "I'd take that bet, if I thought there was any way of proving it. I've heard Ravenclaw was pretty enough, but Hufflepuff --" He shook his head. "-- That woman had appetites."
(One Hell of a Woman)