disconnect/reconnect
I suppose my feelings as of lately are a result from being disconnected from everything I knew before I moved here. A lot of things seem to be catching up with me and so I am trying to balance everything out. Before I moved up this way, a lot of things were going, or not. I guess what I am saying that coming here wasn’t a conscious decision on my part. I can definitely say that it was WELL WORTH THE RIDE.
At the same time, I’m ready to get “back on track”. I’m just anxious because I feel I’ve gotten (grammar??) what I came here for. It doesn’t matter where I am, I cant stop obsessing with the future.
Anyways, what I said earlier about being disconnected is that the whole “punk rock” just disappeared. What I mean is what “punk” means/meant to me. Putting together a zine is a major goal of mine because it has been so long, going to see live bands, although I’m not sure I’m down the “so-called scene”. I don’t really give 2 shits about “the scene” all that is affiliated with “the scene” doesn’t appeal to me.
Everyone says I’m in with the wrong people or whatever. I can’t ever seem to find the people I’m looking for. People think its just music and fashion, which has led me to abandon that. No one seems interested in zines anymore. No one even knows what that means.
When I look back 5 years ago, I’m not doing anything I really expected to do, but I’m sort of on the same path, only now I have real goals worth fulfilling. The next few years are going to be the most crucial. Imagine me, going to art school, finally getting the fuck out of Pennsylvania, finally getting out on my own, finally moving beyond stupid fucking small town drunk assholes ( not that I wont deal with that every where) finally getting in with people I can relate to.
The people that I have meet during my time here in Williamsport are much more interesting that the ones I met “back home” yet that in itself is a contradiction in some ways.
Maybe its obvious I’m just wasting time until class starts or perhaps I’m just venting. I’m not really sure, but what I am sure of that I’m excited.
I know I don’t get out enough. I know that there are certain things I have TOTAL control over, so I don’t really have the right to bitch about certain things that I am able to do, like putting together a zine. Whatever…
I’m not too sure where I am going with this, I guess I’m just really anxious to start getting on with things.
At the same time, I’m ready to get “back on track”. I’m just anxious because I feel I’ve gotten (grammar??) what I came here for. It doesn’t matter where I am, I cant stop obsessing with the future.
Anyways, what I said earlier about being disconnected is that the whole “punk rock” just disappeared. What I mean is what “punk” means/meant to me. Putting together a zine is a major goal of mine because it has been so long, going to see live bands, although I’m not sure I’m down the “so-called scene”. I don’t really give 2 shits about “the scene” all that is affiliated with “the scene” doesn’t appeal to me.
Everyone says I’m in with the wrong people or whatever. I can’t ever seem to find the people I’m looking for. People think its just music and fashion, which has led me to abandon that. No one seems interested in zines anymore. No one even knows what that means.
When I look back 5 years ago, I’m not doing anything I really expected to do, but I’m sort of on the same path, only now I have real goals worth fulfilling. The next few years are going to be the most crucial. Imagine me, going to art school, finally getting the fuck out of Pennsylvania, finally getting out on my own, finally moving beyond stupid fucking small town drunk assholes ( not that I wont deal with that every where) finally getting in with people I can relate to.
The people that I have meet during my time here in Williamsport are much more interesting that the ones I met “back home” yet that in itself is a contradiction in some ways.
Maybe its obvious I’m just wasting time until class starts or perhaps I’m just venting. I’m not really sure, but what I am sure of that I’m excited.
I know I don’t get out enough. I know that there are certain things I have TOTAL control over, so I don’t really have the right to bitch about certain things that I am able to do, like putting together a zine. Whatever…
I’m not too sure where I am going with this, I guess I’m just really anxious to start getting on with things.