(no subject)
these days i'm dealing with a diagnosis made years ago. when i was young i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. it was separation induced at the time, specifically when my parents would leave me. since december i've been having little anxiety attacks from time to time. since the end of january they've been worse. they range anywhere from a headache to dizziness to light sensitivity to various pains to feeling like i'm gonna pass out or stop breathing. my heart races and my mind goes blank.
what's difficult to deal with is how well i'm doing this semester academically. reckless closed last night, and it couldn't have been a better experience. personally i've had the best reviews of the year, and we had people coming back twice to see the show. that NEVER happens for a 2nd year project. for some reason though i couldn't fully enjoy the positivity. i think i'm so used to doing poorly at things that now that i'm doing well i don't know how to handle it. the work is positive for the most part, and i can say that i'm really positive and upbeat about it, but physically i don't feel that way. i'm going to see a doctor in wisconsin in two weeks.
i don't know why i feel compelled to write about this. i'm just putting it out there.
what's difficult to deal with is how well i'm doing this semester academically. reckless closed last night, and it couldn't have been a better experience. personally i've had the best reviews of the year, and we had people coming back twice to see the show. that NEVER happens for a 2nd year project. for some reason though i couldn't fully enjoy the positivity. i think i'm so used to doing poorly at things that now that i'm doing well i don't know how to handle it. the work is positive for the most part, and i can say that i'm really positive and upbeat about it, but physically i don't feel that way. i'm going to see a doctor in wisconsin in two weeks.
i don't know why i feel compelled to write about this. i'm just putting it out there.