The angel jumped a bit, momentarily forgetting where he was and what he was doing. He blinked a few times before remembering things and mumbled something which might have been an apology.
Kaworu nodded and helped Unohana while trying to collect his own thoughts.
"Arael, one of my sisters, had a similar ability to this event." He glanced down at Kamui before looking away again. "When she attacked the Lilim she wanted to do so from a distance, try to succeed where close combat had failed. She found a way." He sighed slightly, and paused trying to gather more of his thoughts together. "She used something similar to a beam I suppose. Attacked the Second Child instead of the Evangelion the girl was piloting."
Kaworu rubbed the back on his hand across his eyes, an attempt to try and stop himself from breaking down. "That attack allowed her to analyze the human soul. However in doing that it meant she could analyze ever little detail, every memory and every thought. The deeper she probed into the Second's mind the more damage it was doing to the girl." He turned and looked at Unohana. "Everyone of us has mental barriers, they keep us sane and alive. If they're all broken, if the person is broken down completely, they stop functioning."
"And this is what is happening now ? Why is it affecting him if it is your memory ? Is it because you watched someone to whom it happened ?"
The only person she had seen in such a state of mental distress was Hinamori-fukutaichou, and the girl was still very damaged, even after months of treatment. Hopefully, Kamui-san would be fine once the event was over, but if his brain was under too much pressure there was the possibility of permanent damage.
"I can help with putting up some barriers, keeping him fed and hydrated, but I cannot fight his battles for him. Keeping him alive is the most I can do right now. He will have to deal with the rest when he wakes up. That, at least I can make sure of."
She carried the young man to the tub and lowered him in the warm water.
"Why don't you grab the washcloth while I hold his head, Kaworu-san ?"
Kaworu shrugged, he wasn't sure himself of the answer. "For all I know he might simply have had a mental breakdown of some kind."
He nodded, that had been all the NERV doctors had been able to do for the Second. It was something that the person would have to snap out of by themselves. As much as he hated coming to terms with it there was nothing that could be done apart from sitting and waiting. Hopefully he'd be awake, or at least partially conscious, when the event was over.
The angel nodded again and did as he was told.
"He was fragile to begin with, I hope this thing hasn't made him worse." He mumbled quietly.
"I think you will find that he is stronger than he seems. He just needs a good reason to fight," Unohana said with a small smile.
They finished washing up Kamui and Unohana dried him with a towel and put him back in his clothes. She decided against putting him in his room and carried him to the ward instead.
To the untrained eye, it looked like she just put her hand on his brow and closed her eyes, but by the time she was done, she was sweating and her breath was a bit labored. She then put both of her hands on his chest, and a soft golden glow spread from them to envelop all of Kamui's body in a safe cocoon.
"Right," she said, using her haori sleeve to wipe the sweat off her brow. "I know that you technically do not need to drink, Kaworu-san, but a nice cup of tea does wonders to settle the nerves."
"Then I hope he finds one." Was the short reply, completely devoid of emotion.
Kaworu wasn't sure what Unohana had done but he wasn't going to question it. It was a very safe assumption that it was for Kamui's wellbeing regardless of exactly what it did. Not everything needed a detailed explanation after all.
The angel nodded slightly. "I'd do just about anything right now to try and settle my nerves."
"Well then ... let's leave him in peace. The energy shield will alert me if he wakes up."
She led the way back to the kitchen, and busied herself with the soothing making of tea, soon, putting two steaming mugs on the table. She sat down with a little sigh and smiled at him.
"What about you, Kaworu-san ? How are you holding on ?"
The angel made a small 'hm' noise in understanding. His mind instantly picking out the 'if' in that statement.
He silently followed the other to the kitchen before taking a seat at the table. Absently he started to trace out various symbols on the surface. Kaworu had always liked silences before, they allowed him to think and analyze various things, right now though it was unnerving. He smiled slightly at Unohana and gave a small 'thank you'.
"I'd like to think i'm holding on well. I'm not seeing things just hearing them." He paused slightly, thinking over his choice of words. "It's strange hearing your own death."
Unohana did not notice his reaction at her words. Sh had not meant anything ominous with that 'if', apart from the fact hat she did not expect Kamui-san to wake up any time soon. The next day was a good bet, and she would, indeed, be very surprised if he rose before that time.
"Hearing things can be a lot more frightening than seeing them," she said, sipping some tea. "Besides, it looks like it was hard on you, living in a human body, and dying in one of them. And, if I recall correctly, the manner of your death was quite horrible. It cannot be nice at all to re-live all this."
Kaworu ran his finger lazily around the edge of the mug in front of him, watching with little interest. He glanced up at Unohana as he listened before looking down at the mug again and sighing quietly.
"The manner of my death was mine to choose. It was either that or cease to exist as an individual. I don't regret my decision and I like to think I made an impression on the one that killed me." The angel spoke in a calm voice, stating things simply. "Ever since that day i've being hearing things on an endless loop while I watched."
He laughed bitterly before taking a sip of the tea. "To think the only memories I have are either boring or upset someone else. Says an awful lot about my existence in the past." He shook his head slightly. "That is neither here nor there though."
"Clearly, it affects you more than you thought it did," Unohana said matter-of-factly.
Kaworu-san was very different from her, she knew that now, about as different as they both were from human beings. He was a part of something greater. But he, too, had been in contact with humans, their flaws, their weaknesses and it seemed to hav touhed him in strange ways.
"It is up to you to make new memories, Kaworu-san. Some that you might want to share with friends, to remember fondly."
He'd never really gone into detailed thinking about his short time among the Lilim. It was something he'd been trying to avoid doing ever since he'd gone back to his siblings. There had been more troubling things to worry about when Third Impact was eventually started.
Kaworu sighed slightly. "Making new memories is fine and dandy but..." He trailed off into thought for a few moments. "It is unlikely I will return to the Lilim world again."
"Do you mean to say that this is where your friends are ? That you made friends with some humans, in spite of what you knew about them and what your role was supposed to be ?"
"No, Kaworu-san, I would not know unless you tell me," Unohana said, but there was no trace of irony in her voice. It was in her nature to genuinely care about people, and so she cared about Kaworu.
"What makes it painful, Kaworu-san ? Is it because you do not meet whatever their expectations are ?"
"It's very painful. Sounds almost like an insult." Kaworu replied vaguely.
"They believe angels are pure and helpful. I'm not. I just have a few lucky guesses and make good observations." He knew that what people here called an angel was very different from the ones Tokyo-3 had met. Knowing that he'd tried to destroy people didn't make the word sound any nicer.
"Humans being are usually very misguided about beings that are not human, Kaworu-san. They do their best to reassure themselves in the face of a greater power, try to put name on things to grasp some power over them. It is our choice to let it affect us or not."
She knew a little bit about human angel folklore, but not much. Still, Kaworu-san's observations were right on the mark.
"I do not particularly enjoy people getting scared when I mention what I am. I do not understand why they show fear, when it is their very nature that created the need for beings like me."
She got up to pour more tea into her cup.
"Humans will be upset by anything they cannot explain, and we cannot change it. Howevere, as long as we have a rol in their world, we will need to understand that, acknowledge it, and move on."
For some reason, he felt a lot younger to her when he showed such concerns. She was pretty certain that his actual physical existence was probably as long as hers, if not longer, but right now, it felt like he was new to this.
Kaworu nodded and helped Unohana while trying to collect his own thoughts.
"Arael, one of my sisters, had a similar ability to this event." He glanced down at Kamui before looking away again. "When she attacked the Lilim she wanted to do so from a distance, try to succeed where close combat had failed. She found a way." He sighed slightly, and paused trying to gather more of his thoughts together. "She used something similar to a beam I suppose. Attacked the Second Child instead of the Evangelion the girl was piloting."
Kaworu rubbed the back on his hand across his eyes, an attempt to try and stop himself from breaking down. "That attack allowed her to analyze the human soul. However in doing that it meant she could analyze ever little detail, every memory and every thought. The deeper she probed into the Second's mind the more damage it was doing to the girl." He turned and looked at Unohana. "Everyone of us has mental barriers, they keep us sane and alive. If they're all broken, if the person is broken down completely, they stop functioning."
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The only person she had seen in such a state of mental distress was Hinamori-fukutaichou, and the girl was still very damaged, even after months of treatment. Hopefully, Kamui-san would be fine once the event was over, but if his brain was under too much pressure there was the possibility of permanent damage.
"I can help with putting up some barriers, keeping him fed and hydrated, but I cannot fight his battles for him. Keeping him alive is the most I can do right now. He will have to deal with the rest when he wakes up. That, at least I can make sure of."
She carried the young man to the tub and lowered him in the warm water.
"Why don't you grab the washcloth while I hold his head, Kaworu-san ?"
Reply
He nodded, that had been all the NERV doctors had been able to do for the Second. It was something that the person would have to snap out of by themselves. As much as he hated coming to terms with it there was nothing that could be done apart from sitting and waiting. Hopefully he'd be awake, or at least partially conscious, when the event was over.
The angel nodded again and did as he was told.
"He was fragile to begin with, I hope this thing hasn't made him worse." He mumbled quietly.
Reply
They finished washing up Kamui and Unohana dried him with a towel and put him back in his clothes. She decided against putting him in his room and carried him to the ward instead.
To the untrained eye, it looked like she just put her hand on his brow and closed her eyes, but by the time she was done, she was sweating and her breath was a bit labored. She then put both of her hands on his chest, and a soft golden glow spread from them to envelop all of Kamui's body in a safe cocoon.
"Right," she said, using her haori sleeve to wipe the sweat off her brow. "I know that you technically do not need to drink, Kaworu-san, but a nice cup of tea does wonders to settle the nerves."
Reply
Kaworu wasn't sure what Unohana had done but he wasn't going to question it. It was a very safe assumption that it was for Kamui's wellbeing regardless of exactly what it did. Not everything needed a detailed explanation after all.
The angel nodded slightly. "I'd do just about anything right now to try and settle my nerves."
Reply
She led the way back to the kitchen, and busied herself with the soothing making of tea, soon, putting two steaming mugs on the table. She sat down with a little sigh and smiled at him.
"What about you, Kaworu-san ? How are you holding on ?"
Reply
He silently followed the other to the kitchen before taking a seat at the table. Absently he started to trace out various symbols on the surface. Kaworu had always liked silences before, they allowed him to think and analyze various things, right now though it was unnerving. He smiled slightly at Unohana and gave a small 'thank you'.
"I'd like to think i'm holding on well. I'm not seeing things just hearing them." He paused slightly, thinking over his choice of words. "It's strange hearing your own death."
Reply
"Hearing things can be a lot more frightening than seeing them," she said, sipping some tea. "Besides, it looks like it was hard on you, living in a human body, and dying in one of them. And, if I recall correctly, the manner of your death was quite horrible. It cannot be nice at all to re-live all this."
Reply
"The manner of my death was mine to choose. It was either that or cease to exist as an individual. I don't regret my decision and I like to think I made an impression on the one that killed me." The angel spoke in a calm voice, stating things simply. "Ever since that day i've being hearing things on an endless loop while I watched."
He laughed bitterly before taking a sip of the tea. "To think the only memories I have are either boring or upset someone else. Says an awful lot about my existence in the past." He shook his head slightly. "That is neither here nor there though."
Reply
Kaworu-san was very different from her, she knew that now, about as different as they both were from human beings. He was a part of something greater. But he, too, had been in contact with humans, their flaws, their weaknesses and it seemed to hav touhed him in strange ways.
"It is up to you to make new memories, Kaworu-san. Some that you might want to share with friends, to remember fondly."
Reply
He'd never really gone into detailed thinking about his short time among the Lilim. It was something he'd been trying to avoid doing ever since he'd gone back to his siblings. There had been more troubling things to worry about when Third Impact was eventually started.
Kaworu sighed slightly. "Making new memories is fine and dandy but..." He trailed off into thought for a few moments. "It is unlikely I will return to the Lilim world again."
Reply
"Do you mean to say that this is where your friends are ? That you made friends with some humans, in spite of what you knew about them and what your role was supposed to be ?"
Interesting, that such a thing would slip out.
"You have friends here, Kaworu-san," she added.
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Kaworu leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as if it held the answers he was looking for.
"Do you know how painful it is for me when people call me an angel here?"
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"What makes it painful, Kaworu-san ? Is it because you do not meet whatever their expectations are ?"
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"They believe angels are pure and helpful. I'm not. I just have a few lucky guesses and make good observations." He knew that what people here called an angel was very different from the ones Tokyo-3 had met. Knowing that he'd tried to destroy people didn't make the word sound any nicer.
Reply
She knew a little bit about human angel folklore, but not much. Still, Kaworu-san's observations were right on the mark.
"I do not particularly enjoy people getting scared when I mention what I am. I do not understand why they show fear, when it is their very nature that created the need for beings like me."
She got up to pour more tea into her cup.
"Humans will be upset by anything they cannot explain, and we cannot change it. Howevere, as long as we have a rol in their world, we will need to understand that, acknowledge it, and move on."
For some reason, he felt a lot younger to her when he showed such concerns. She was pretty certain that his actual physical existence was probably as long as hers, if not longer, but right now, it felt like he was new to this.
Reply
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