Beyond the Horizon, Across the Divide

[angle_on_it]

Characters: fn_rebel and angle_on_it
When: December 28th, 2011 [backdated]
Where: The Forge
Rating: PG
Summary: After a very successful Solstice Celebration, Sokka finds out that Bon has left Adstringendum. He doesn't take it too well (and who's surprised,) so he spends some extra time at the forge to mope in the quiet.

Comments

[fn_rebel]

Maybe it was habit that caused Jet's feet to guide him here, to the forge. He only ever came here when he sought out Sokka. He would occasionally pass it when it happened to be on the way of wherever he was going, but today something got him to take a step inside. Maybe it was that he suddenly felt washed over with tiredness. He scratched at his temple with the heel of his palm, he got tired too quickly as of late. His resolution to the problem had become walking. Walking as far as he was able, taking a break, and walking back. Eventful. He snorted to himself, displeased with his stamina, and let out a sigh.

Looking around, it was easy to see not much had changed. It made him smile a little, the faint familiarity of the times he'd visited Sokka. The times before things got so complicated in Adstring.

It takes Jet a few moments to process Sokka's figure on the cot, and his brows go up. He wasn't having some feverish delusion, was he? He'd imagined a lot of things, but he was getting better and-- a few more steps confirmed that he wasn't seeing things. The tribesman lay, curled up, and it concerned Jet. He was home now, it was getting cold, why would Sokka come out here in the middle of winter? He wished he'd paid more mind to his PCD, then maybe he'd know what was going on.

"Hey, Sokka?" He reached forward to give a light nudge.

[angle_on_it]

He had been dreaming, mind drifting in an out of memories made since May. Fishing. In his dream, he'd been fishing and Bon had been there, his happy laughter filling the air. The sun was shining, it was summer. Vividly, the leafy green trees whispered against the wind, carrying off Suguro's laughter and with it, just a bit more of Sokka's easiness.

It was a bittersweet creation of his own mind; obviously still hyper-aware of the loss of his friend, Sokka had fussed so much in his dream, he'd scared away all of the fish.

Eventually, Jet's voice invaded the scene and suddenly the dreaming man found himself startled and disturbed. A second later, he sat up. Covered in sweat, panting, and confused, he gasped out his Bon's name, one hand resting on his racing heart while the other propped him in his half-seated position. He must have realized he was wrong pretty quickly, though, immediately amending his words. "Jet... I didn't-- uh, hey. Sorry, I didn't hear you come in..."

[fn_rebel]

Waking up in such a state; that was something else the freedom fighter had grown familiar with in Adstringendum. It was the reason he’d given up on getting sleep, waking up in fitful nightmares, the cold sweat, the fear. He shook his head to dismiss the thoughts, the ones of his parents, and reminded himself why he was here. Not for himself, for Sokka. Sokka was panicking; something had happened to Sokka, he didn’t have to reflect. So he wouldn’t.

“Sokka… what’re you doing here?” His voice came out hoarse and he was certain it was far from reassuring, but it was all he could muster. He was breathless, tired. He suddenly wanted to be back at the clinic, but he wanted his friend to be home. Home and safe and warm. Him being here like this meant something bad happened, Jet had been here long enough to figure that small bit out. Exhaustation seemed to hold the young man back from hiding his feelings of concern, and he eased himself to sit at the edge of the cot. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands clasped together. He waited for Sokka’s answer, not pressing, not sure he wanted to.

[angle_on_it]

It took Sokka a long minute to pull himself back to the present, though he bothered to gesture somewhere along the line to show his friend he was at least hearing the question.

Awash with emotion, the young man rubbed both hands at his face, scrubbing away the sweat in the same motion he used to try to scrub away his embarrassment. He didn't want Jet to see him that way -- not if it meant the other boy could perceive how thinly Sokka's defenses were wearing. A long breath escaped in a heavy sigh and he dropped his hands into his lap. Something of a helpless shrug followed and looked over at his friend, eyes rimmed with a little too much red. When he tried to speak, nothing came out until he cleared his throat. "A, uh... a friend went home."

Sokka tried to sneak a breath, but it shuddered in unpleasantly and forced him to look away, hurt to know it would only worry Jet all the more. The young man swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to explain his obvious upset a little more clearly. "More a brother than a friend, actually..."

[fn_rebel]

Jet chose to let silence fill the air for a few moments. Truthfully, he couldn’t relate. Everyone that had gone home so far always had people missing them, people feeling the loss, people feeling selfish for wanting them here, but he had yet to experience it. Even with Iroh, a man who’d lived with Jet since his arrival, he didn’t feel at loss when he went home. It made him feel selfish, not missing anyone that left, but at the same time relief washed over him, especially at the word brother. Scratching the back of his neck, he let his thoughts wander to what he would feel if Sokka went home, or even Katara. He couldn’t willingly go home right after them, like he always said he would, and that was the reality of it. And he didn’t like the reality.

He’d probably lose his grip of reality, lash out, do something he shouldn’t and pay a dire price for it. the thought in itself was unsettling, and dealing with it was something he would never want to do. But he would. Because he wouldn’t want to go home and die and leave everyone here in pain for his loss again. he shook his head to come back to reality, giving the boy a sympathetic look, not sure what to say. Comforting Sokka was entirely different than comforting Katara, but he still reached out to place a firm hand on his shoulder. In a way, he hoped it reminded Sokka that he was still here, that everyone else was still here, and they didn’t plan on leaving him. He still had support for whatever it was he was going through, even if Jet felt beyond useless in this situation.

“What was he like? Your brother.” The sibling reference came naturally as he’d referred to all his freedom fighters by it, and now Sokka. “Was here before me, right?”

[angle_on_it]

Sokka felt his defenses crumbling a little more under the weight of Jet's hand on his shoulder. He hated anyone to see him so upset, but it happened so often anymore, he couldn't decide why he bothered feeling bad about it. It was that brother-like bond that said it was okay to let go a little.

"He was here before me, too." Sokka closed his eyes and dipped his head into his hands, hunched over his own knees as he rubbed his face. A choked laugh escaped and the younger boy tried not follow it through with a sob. "We went fishing together the day we met," he recalled as if it were the most profound of experiences. "He stayed with me after Fran messed with my head, pulled me back up to my feet more times than I can remember, and..." When he looked back to Jet, he felt too much like his heart was breaking to hide his tears. Sloppily, he wiped a sleeve across his face and frowned deeply. "Reminded me a bit of you..." Which just made it all the worse, in Sokka's opinion. How was he expected to cope with that sort of pain over and over?

[fn_rebel]

His lips pursed tight and his muscles tensed. Being the leader, that was something Jet could take pride in saying he was good at. Right now, he’d do it, as much as he wanted to share Sokka’s pain. He’d be the pillar or rock or whatever it was that helped keep the tribesman together, the way he had done for the kids before he left them, or he’d be damned if he didn’t do his best trying. He let his hand fall from Sokka’s shoulder and nodded a bit into space, pondering over what to say, what could help. Asking what would happen when this guy got home, if he knew, it didn’t always mean the best. He couldn’t guarantee a stranger’s safety back in their world; what if his fate was similar to Jet’s? What if that was what Sokka meant? What if Sokka didn’t even know? That could be the worst feeling of all. The not knowing.

“This place kind of wears people down. I think that’s what the Animus are really trying to do.” He started, rubbing the back of his palm and looking Sokka, ignoring the obvious tears. “Whatever reason he went back, he’s better off. Now he can take care of what he has to, do what he’s needed to do, and… live.” That last bit was harder to say than he thought it’d be, but even if he did die at home, he’d do it for a better reason than he would here in Adstring; that much Jet was sure of.

“I’m still here. And so are Katara and Suki, hell, even Zuko if you wanna count him.” Spirits knew Jet didn’t. “We’re not going anywhere… and your friend’d be glad you missed him so much.”

[angle_on_it]

It was all the right words and Sokka knew it, though he always had more trouble accepting these sorts of things when faced with them in a highly emotional state. He knew very little about Bon outside of Adstringendum, but what he did know, Sokka knew well. He was caring, clever, and vivacious, not to mention the type of person who would give up anything so that his friends might suffer less.

Sokka nodded, his voice quiet and insistent. "I know that, I do..." And yet there was an unspoken caveat, which probably appeared too obvious to bother hiding. Whether home was where Sokka's friend was meant to be or not, his lack of presence in Adstringendum was where the focus remained. "He-- I don't think he would have left if he... if he had a choice." A simple enough statement, but one Sokka felt had merit.

"When Katara left..." He folded in on himself and sniffled. "H-he was there and I-- I never thought about the possibility that he might go. O-or maybe I thought I'd just... know." Miserably, he added, "I didn't. One day here, next day gone." Sokka shook his head. "Makes me question how good of a friend I really was. Is that dumb?"

sob. so late :c

[fn_rebel]

“Loss is never easy. It can really change a person.” Look what it had done to Jet. It made him hateful, vengeful, and he almost lost his humanity to it. But this wasn’t about him and he knew it, so he would try his best not to dwell. He wouldn’t make this too personal, because he was here to help Sokka be strong, not feel worse. “He probably wouldn’t have, but it’s not up to us, Sokka. When they want us to go back…” Maybe he felt it was too much to remind the other boy of right now, or maybe it just hurt to admit. Either way, Jet was mostly sure the rest of that sentence went without saying.

He stiffened at the mention of Katara leaving, and remembered when he’d originally gotten here she’d just disappeared. He remembered how relieved he was, how he felt she was safe, even if he was remorseful he wouldn’t get to apologize to her in person. Now, here, after all this time, he wasn’t sure he could feel that way if she left, no matter how hard he tried. Her or Sokka. They’d become such a strong family unit, supported him through so much, helped him keep his sanity. if they left, he’d be lost, more lost than Sokka was right now. It sounded selfish in his mind, but he couldn’t keep it together. Not with everyone here, not without them. but why worry him even more? Why even talk about Katara leaving?

“There are people I’m never going to see again, people at home.” His parents. “If it were up to them, I know… I’d hope they wouldn’t have wanted to go. I held onto that feeling a long time, how unfair it was, how I just wanted to see them, and it ate at me. They wouldn’t have wanted it to, though. They would’ve wanted me to move on, to stay strong for their sake and make them proud. Y’know. Accept it, remember them, and live.” He swallowed a lump in his throat, suddenly finding it unable to make eye contact with Sokka. He shifted a little uncomfortably, and hoped there wouldn’t be many questions about what he just said.