On the edge
Characters: Vincent Valentine (ff_red_turk), Hallelujah Haptism (alle_halle)
When: After Halle pimps out his teammates, and more precisely after this exchange.
Where: Roof of the Gundam Meisters' building
Rating: PG for a boy kiss.
Summary: Vincent is still camping on the roof. Hallelujah heads up there because they need to talk about various things, including Lockon.
Hallelujah was slowly climbing up the stairs to the roof. His plan of staying in the building went well. No one had the slightest idea that he was still there. Very good.
It was slowly getting darker. With not too much light coming from outside this place looked dangerous. As usual, when he stepped outside, it changed. No wonder Vincent liked high places so much. Clouds with rays of setting sun breaking through it, and that strange city consisting of so many not fitting elements.
Hallelujah walked at slow pace to the familiar figure crouched on the edge, stopping at the very edge of the roof.
"Any familiar birds to shoot?"
Vincent didn't turn around, just blinked once. His eyes were still red, but the pupils were slightly elongated, like a lizard's, one of the few signs that Chaos was closer to the surface than he should be.
He smiled slightly at the question.
"No, it looks pretty quiet this evening. Besides, I don't have ammunition to spare for the moment."
The wind was making the red cape flutter around, its edges looking like they were melting.
"You caused quite an uproar down there."
Hallelujah chuckled at that remark. Oh yes, that was what he got. What was interesting was that it was not only a joke : it was his way of making sure he caused enough commotion to stop his teammates from saying something unnecessary.
"They're too busy trying to find me to say anything to Lockon." Halle tilted his head, grinning. With practiced ease he spun around, almost dancing on the very edge of the roof, feet never stumbling, just like he'd memorized the ground - which he had long ago.
"So that's why ..."
It might seem like a strange way to distract people from talking, but in a way it had been strangely effective. For now, at the very least. Vincent still thought that someone could slip and let something out, which was why he was in favor of doing damage control by broaching the subject themselves.
It was weird, because in a way, Lockon was not the same person they had known before, but he was still Lockon. That made things a bit hard to wrap your head around.
He kept an eye on Halle the the young man starting to prance about at the edge of the roof. He didn't doubt the other's sense of balance, but there was something a bit manically giddy about him, and it only took a second to lose your footing.
... even if Vincent knew he'd catch him before he touched the ground, it didn't mean he actually wanted to have to do it.
"We are going to have to say something before he finds out by himself. How can he trust us if we're not honest with him ?"
Hallelujah stopped dancing. He was staying there unmoving, with his face hidden from Vincent.
"Do you think he'll believe any of us? If I-we try to tell him, Lockon will shrug it off as a joke." His voice was serious, even if his grin was still visible. He paused, letting the wind play with his hair, and then turned to face Vincent.
"If Lockon knows about Allelujah's feelings, he'll most likely feel obliged to return them, just like last time. I think you remember what happened."
Oh yes, choices, decisions. All because of Lockon, no matter which one it was. The past was the past was the past, but what about the present, and the decisions it left?
"Do you think he would shrug it off as a joke coming from me ?"
It wasn't so much that Vincent thought too highly of himself, and more that most people did not actually believe that Vincent was capable of joking. He just didn't look the part.
On the other hand, he could understand the young man's resistance to repeating what had clearly been a mistake before. Yet he did believe that the mistake had been Lockon's as much as Halle's.
"If he feels obligated to reciprocate, you don't have to accept. You have a right to demand honesty from him, even if it hurts. That's what being friends mean. Being honest, instead of second-guessing everything."
Obviously, he did not share the past Allelujah and Lockon had in common. And in fact, caring so much about them was coming as a shock to him. Keeping people away was also something he'd mastered, so he could recognize it in someone else quite easily.
'And maybe you could practice what you preach sometimes, heh ?' came Chaos' voice from the back of his mind.
"He may not...but he may get scared instead. You know that he's not too much into feelings and the whole relationship deal? Living for the revenge only and so on~"
That was true. If Lockon found out, it may get only worse. Knowing that someone had feelings for him would make him try - or pretend to have similar ones. "Problem is that Lockon is someone who does his damned best to please his friends. Including sex."
The question was, what did that time change? From the point he was now in, the knowledge he had, wouldn't it be best for Lockon to use that second chance instead of wanting his revenge?
"Yes, I know."
That had been only too obvious, the way Lockon was friendly with everyone but close to no one.
"... And if he tries to kill that guy again, I swear I will lock him up and beat him up until he stops being stupid," he added as an afterhtought. Of course, this Lockon would not remember killing Ali here.
"What if we tell him that pleasing us involves being honest with us ? He's going to have to look at things like an adult and pull his head out of the sand at one point. And, like I said, if he offers, you can refuse. I can understand why you didn't the first time, but now you know better. As for myself, I take what is freely given, nothing more, nothing less."
It was strangely soothing, talking to Hallelujah on the edge of the roof like that. Knowing Lockon would be okay, knowing Halle was weary about repeating past mistakes ...
It felt like home, like he had told them. Like when he was on the roof of Seventh Heaven and Tifa would come and drag him back inside, or Cloud would come sit next to him because it was too noisy inside, or Cid would plop down and light up and say some crap about Tifa not wanting him to smoke inside just so he could see Vincent's nose crunch up in the putrid smoke ...
He had not thought as far as love or relationships. Had not even been there yet when Lockon had vanished, but he had felt it as a loss. Something he never wanted to happen again.
"We put ourselves in a pretty mess, didn't we ?"
Hallelujah listened quietly, but shrugged at the last words.
"Feelings are always a mess, and there's no happy ending. It's the same mess as Lockon," he sent Vincent a sarcastic grin. "As for him, the story ended - he got his revenge, getting killed in process. If Gary Bradge doesn't remember that he's really Ali al-Saachez, he's safe."
Suddenly he crouched next to Vincent, leaning to take a good look at his face, waiting like that in silence for a long moment.
"About that honesty," there was something cold and calculating in his visible golden eye, "why are you still here?"
Vincent shrugged.
"I'm not really sure myself. It feels like this is where I should be. I'm ... I was ... worried about you when he vanished, then worried about him when he got back hurt."
Worry hardly was what you could call a good reason to camp on someone's roof, but Vincent hardly needed a good reason to do anything. In that case, though, it was not so simple.
"I don't have a definite answer to give you. I was still trying to figure things out when he disappeared. I haven't really had time to think about it after that. I ..."
There was a small hesitation, and an sharp intake of breath.
"I'm not human anymore. I don't even know what I am. Back when I first realized this, I wanted to die, but Chaos wouldn't let me. Now that he was in my body, he needed me alive. So I locked myself up in a coffin, hoping to forget everything about the world and to slumber endlessly ... and then, Cloud and his friends found me and dragged me out but even then, if it hadn't been Lucrezia's son who was trying to destroy our world, I probably wouldn't have moved a finger to prevent it."
There was a flash of uncertainty in the red eyes as he looked at Halle.
"I've never been very good at this, even when I was still alive."
Hallelujah couldn't stop a chuckle at these words. "It's not like I am~" he added after a moment, "Or he."
He flopped on his back, looking at quickly darkening clouds. Nights here were dark, almost too dark to his liking - only small lights here and there, the whole city being a mass of ruined buildings and darkness.
"It must be rather serious if you're camping on the roof," he said finally, gaze still locked on the sky. Maybe the moon would be visible tonight, who knew? "Or if you're worried about Lockon to the point where you won't go home."
True that Vincent's behavior surprised even him. Sure, being overprotective and such, but was there a need? Really? Not the one he could think of.
Vincent stayed silent for a moment longer before speaking again.
He was here for his own peace of mind, because he would have been restless if he wasn't here. He could not yet put it in words, or admit it to himself, maybe. He new they were not in any immediate danger, and the only reason he was still there was probably to reassure himself that he was not going to lose them - either of them - again.
The last time it had happened to him, he had lost more than any human could imagine.
"It's not just Lockon I'm worried about," he whispered. "I thought I'd made that clear."
"I'm touched~" Hallelujah grinned, and then stood up in one swift move, standing on the edge again. When looking back, it wasn't that surprising, the three - five? - of them slowly coming closer. But how close were they really?
"Lockon doesn't know about me~" a sudden glance combined with a wide grin, but without real humour. "He needs to learn."
Vincent raised a sarcastic eyebrow.
"Do you think he really won't have noticed after what you pulled on him ? He's stupid, but not that stupid. And even if he was ... just how do you intend to teach him ?"
Given Hallelujah's tendency to go overboard without warning, that, at least, was a legitmate cause for worry. He had been pimping out his team mates to the general population, after all. Joke or not, it took someone ... special to think it was a remotely good idea.
Hallelujah shrugged. It was a good idea to cause enough uproar, and at the same time show Lockon that there was not only quiet Alle, but him. That there were two quite different minds in someone he considered his best friend.
"Of course he knows right now, that's the general idea~" It was something Lockon needed to find out before knowing anything else. Not only about knowing how close his friends were to him, but how close to his friends he was.
"Do you think it'd be better if he found out right after getting here, and then realized what he got? One nice, quiet boyfriend and at the same time a psycho one?"
Well of course, said like that ... Vincent could only wonder about the face Lockon would make if Chaos decided to come out and say hello. True, they did not have the history that Allelujah and Lockon shared, but it usually was a nasty shock for everyone.
"We still need to tell him, on our own terms. I don't care what I personally get out of it, I don't like lying to him. He has a right to know."
"Allelujah thinks so too." That was troubling him. Too many uncertainities, too many unknown points. He knew Lockon, but how well? With the new one, Hallelujah wasn't sure.
Chances, relationships. It was much too complicated; it was better before, easier this way - just getting what he wanted and when he wanted it. No trouble at all. However...Allelujah wasn't satisfied at all. Two different views, two different personalities. Everything started and ended because of that.
Knowing what to avoid made the task much easier. "Lockon needs to get used to me first~" and I'm not going to go away that easily.
"I don't mind that," Vincent said. "I just wanted to be ... honest with you. But you call the shots. I don't think I have any right to, myself."
'What was that about taking your own advice ?'
'Shut up.'
Vincent closed his eyes and lowered his head, all but disappearing behind the high collar of the cape. Taking deep breaths was enough to keep Chaos down for the moment, but it wouldn't hold much longer. He need to re-center himself. Letting the demon out now was as bad an idea as possible.
"I should go back."
"Right." and before he could think, Hallelujah simply did it, leaning close enough to pull Vincent's collar down and kiss him. He stayed like that for a moment, before swiftly moving back and sending another of his crazy grins.
"Still, Lockon is mine~"
Maybe he himself had no idea about the relationships, but his other self had. Vincent was someone Halle would call...maybe not a friend - he never used this word - but someone close enough to want to protect him. Well, if Vincent needed protection, which was debatable.
Vincent did not resist at all. It ... meant a lot to him, he realized, that Halle wanted him close as much as Allelujah did. Not that the words would ever come out between them, but still, it was a fact : they both didn't mind him, and Chaos himself wasn't concerned about how this supposedly was complicated.
He frowned when Halle got possessive again, though.
"Remember what happened the last time you said that ?"
The ex-Turk got up to his full height, the cape now flapping in the suddenly stronger wind.
"I'll be around even if you don't see me. And ..." there was a flash of amusement in his eyes this time "you'll have to tell me how you knew I was there earlier."
That Halle did remember, but he shrugged it off. It's not like it was important right now. For the second question, however...
"That's a secret~♥" since no, he wasn't going to share, and knew Allelujah wouldn't share it either. Some things were better kept to oneself.
Well, if Halle wouldn't tell, it meant that Vincent would have to find out. That, at least, was familiar territory.
He did not say good bye before he jumped off the building. However, he did not just land on the floor like one would have expected. Instead, the red cape seemed to wrap itself around him as if it were alive, and bounded off the nearest wall in a flurry of red tendrils. The whirl of red slowly got farther and farther away, until it was impossible to distinguish him in the night.
When: After Halle pimps out his teammates, and more precisely after this exchange.
Where: Roof of the Gundam Meisters' building
Rating: PG for a boy kiss.
Summary: Vincent is still camping on the roof. Hallelujah heads up there because they need to talk about various things, including Lockon.
Hallelujah was slowly climbing up the stairs to the roof. His plan of staying in the building went well. No one had the slightest idea that he was still there. Very good.
It was slowly getting darker. With not too much light coming from outside this place looked dangerous. As usual, when he stepped outside, it changed. No wonder Vincent liked high places so much. Clouds with rays of setting sun breaking through it, and that strange city consisting of so many not fitting elements.
Hallelujah walked at slow pace to the familiar figure crouched on the edge, stopping at the very edge of the roof.
"Any familiar birds to shoot?"
Vincent didn't turn around, just blinked once. His eyes were still red, but the pupils were slightly elongated, like a lizard's, one of the few signs that Chaos was closer to the surface than he should be.
He smiled slightly at the question.
"No, it looks pretty quiet this evening. Besides, I don't have ammunition to spare for the moment."
The wind was making the red cape flutter around, its edges looking like they were melting.
"You caused quite an uproar down there."
Hallelujah chuckled at that remark. Oh yes, that was what he got. What was interesting was that it was not only a joke : it was his way of making sure he caused enough commotion to stop his teammates from saying something unnecessary.
"They're too busy trying to find me to say anything to Lockon." Halle tilted his head, grinning. With practiced ease he spun around, almost dancing on the very edge of the roof, feet never stumbling, just like he'd memorized the ground - which he had long ago.
"So that's why ..."
It might seem like a strange way to distract people from talking, but in a way it had been strangely effective. For now, at the very least. Vincent still thought that someone could slip and let something out, which was why he was in favor of doing damage control by broaching the subject themselves.
It was weird, because in a way, Lockon was not the same person they had known before, but he was still Lockon. That made things a bit hard to wrap your head around.
He kept an eye on Halle the the young man starting to prance about at the edge of the roof. He didn't doubt the other's sense of balance, but there was something a bit manically giddy about him, and it only took a second to lose your footing.
... even if Vincent knew he'd catch him before he touched the ground, it didn't mean he actually wanted to have to do it.
"We are going to have to say something before he finds out by himself. How can he trust us if we're not honest with him ?"
Hallelujah stopped dancing. He was staying there unmoving, with his face hidden from Vincent.
"Do you think he'll believe any of us? If I-we try to tell him, Lockon will shrug it off as a joke." His voice was serious, even if his grin was still visible. He paused, letting the wind play with his hair, and then turned to face Vincent.
"If Lockon knows about Allelujah's feelings, he'll most likely feel obliged to return them, just like last time. I think you remember what happened."
Oh yes, choices, decisions. All because of Lockon, no matter which one it was. The past was the past was the past, but what about the present, and the decisions it left?
"Do you think he would shrug it off as a joke coming from me ?"
It wasn't so much that Vincent thought too highly of himself, and more that most people did not actually believe that Vincent was capable of joking. He just didn't look the part.
On the other hand, he could understand the young man's resistance to repeating what had clearly been a mistake before. Yet he did believe that the mistake had been Lockon's as much as Halle's.
"If he feels obligated to reciprocate, you don't have to accept. You have a right to demand honesty from him, even if it hurts. That's what being friends mean. Being honest, instead of second-guessing everything."
Obviously, he did not share the past Allelujah and Lockon had in common. And in fact, caring so much about them was coming as a shock to him. Keeping people away was also something he'd mastered, so he could recognize it in someone else quite easily.
'And maybe you could practice what you preach sometimes, heh ?' came Chaos' voice from the back of his mind.
"He may not...but he may get scared instead. You know that he's not too much into feelings and the whole relationship deal? Living for the revenge only and so on~"
That was true. If Lockon found out, it may get only worse. Knowing that someone had feelings for him would make him try - or pretend to have similar ones. "Problem is that Lockon is someone who does his damned best to please his friends. Including sex."
The question was, what did that time change? From the point he was now in, the knowledge he had, wouldn't it be best for Lockon to use that second chance instead of wanting his revenge?
"Yes, I know."
That had been only too obvious, the way Lockon was friendly with everyone but close to no one.
"... And if he tries to kill that guy again, I swear I will lock him up and beat him up until he stops being stupid," he added as an afterhtought. Of course, this Lockon would not remember killing Ali here.
"What if we tell him that pleasing us involves being honest with us ? He's going to have to look at things like an adult and pull his head out of the sand at one point. And, like I said, if he offers, you can refuse. I can understand why you didn't the first time, but now you know better. As for myself, I take what is freely given, nothing more, nothing less."
It was strangely soothing, talking to Hallelujah on the edge of the roof like that. Knowing Lockon would be okay, knowing Halle was weary about repeating past mistakes ...
It felt like home, like he had told them. Like when he was on the roof of Seventh Heaven and Tifa would come and drag him back inside, or Cloud would come sit next to him because it was too noisy inside, or Cid would plop down and light up and say some crap about Tifa not wanting him to smoke inside just so he could see Vincent's nose crunch up in the putrid smoke ...
He had not thought as far as love or relationships. Had not even been there yet when Lockon had vanished, but he had felt it as a loss. Something he never wanted to happen again.
"We put ourselves in a pretty mess, didn't we ?"
Hallelujah listened quietly, but shrugged at the last words.
"Feelings are always a mess, and there's no happy ending. It's the same mess as Lockon," he sent Vincent a sarcastic grin. "As for him, the story ended - he got his revenge, getting killed in process. If Gary Bradge doesn't remember that he's really Ali al-Saachez, he's safe."
Suddenly he crouched next to Vincent, leaning to take a good look at his face, waiting like that in silence for a long moment.
"About that honesty," there was something cold and calculating in his visible golden eye, "why are you still here?"
Vincent shrugged.
"I'm not really sure myself. It feels like this is where I should be. I'm ... I was ... worried about you when he vanished, then worried about him when he got back hurt."
Worry hardly was what you could call a good reason to camp on someone's roof, but Vincent hardly needed a good reason to do anything. In that case, though, it was not so simple.
"I don't have a definite answer to give you. I was still trying to figure things out when he disappeared. I haven't really had time to think about it after that. I ..."
There was a small hesitation, and an sharp intake of breath.
"I'm not human anymore. I don't even know what I am. Back when I first realized this, I wanted to die, but Chaos wouldn't let me. Now that he was in my body, he needed me alive. So I locked myself up in a coffin, hoping to forget everything about the world and to slumber endlessly ... and then, Cloud and his friends found me and dragged me out but even then, if it hadn't been Lucrezia's son who was trying to destroy our world, I probably wouldn't have moved a finger to prevent it."
There was a flash of uncertainty in the red eyes as he looked at Halle.
"I've never been very good at this, even when I was still alive."
Hallelujah couldn't stop a chuckle at these words. "It's not like I am~" he added after a moment, "Or he."
He flopped on his back, looking at quickly darkening clouds. Nights here were dark, almost too dark to his liking - only small lights here and there, the whole city being a mass of ruined buildings and darkness.
"It must be rather serious if you're camping on the roof," he said finally, gaze still locked on the sky. Maybe the moon would be visible tonight, who knew? "Or if you're worried about Lockon to the point where you won't go home."
True that Vincent's behavior surprised even him. Sure, being overprotective and such, but was there a need? Really? Not the one he could think of.
Vincent stayed silent for a moment longer before speaking again.
He was here for his own peace of mind, because he would have been restless if he wasn't here. He could not yet put it in words, or admit it to himself, maybe. He new they were not in any immediate danger, and the only reason he was still there was probably to reassure himself that he was not going to lose them - either of them - again.
The last time it had happened to him, he had lost more than any human could imagine.
"It's not just Lockon I'm worried about," he whispered. "I thought I'd made that clear."
"I'm touched~" Hallelujah grinned, and then stood up in one swift move, standing on the edge again. When looking back, it wasn't that surprising, the three - five? - of them slowly coming closer. But how close were they really?
"Lockon doesn't know about me~" a sudden glance combined with a wide grin, but without real humour. "He needs to learn."
Vincent raised a sarcastic eyebrow.
"Do you think he really won't have noticed after what you pulled on him ? He's stupid, but not that stupid. And even if he was ... just how do you intend to teach him ?"
Given Hallelujah's tendency to go overboard without warning, that, at least, was a legitmate cause for worry. He had been pimping out his team mates to the general population, after all. Joke or not, it took someone ... special to think it was a remotely good idea.
Hallelujah shrugged. It was a good idea to cause enough uproar, and at the same time show Lockon that there was not only quiet Alle, but him. That there were two quite different minds in someone he considered his best friend.
"Of course he knows right now, that's the general idea~" It was something Lockon needed to find out before knowing anything else. Not only about knowing how close his friends were to him, but how close to his friends he was.
"Do you think it'd be better if he found out right after getting here, and then realized what he got? One nice, quiet boyfriend and at the same time a psycho one?"
Well of course, said like that ... Vincent could only wonder about the face Lockon would make if Chaos decided to come out and say hello. True, they did not have the history that Allelujah and Lockon shared, but it usually was a nasty shock for everyone.
"We still need to tell him, on our own terms. I don't care what I personally get out of it, I don't like lying to him. He has a right to know."
"Allelujah thinks so too." That was troubling him. Too many uncertainities, too many unknown points. He knew Lockon, but how well? With the new one, Hallelujah wasn't sure.
Chances, relationships. It was much too complicated; it was better before, easier this way - just getting what he wanted and when he wanted it. No trouble at all. However...Allelujah wasn't satisfied at all. Two different views, two different personalities. Everything started and ended because of that.
Knowing what to avoid made the task much easier. "Lockon needs to get used to me first~" and I'm not going to go away that easily.
"I don't mind that," Vincent said. "I just wanted to be ... honest with you. But you call the shots. I don't think I have any right to, myself."
'What was that about taking your own advice ?'
'Shut up.'
Vincent closed his eyes and lowered his head, all but disappearing behind the high collar of the cape. Taking deep breaths was enough to keep Chaos down for the moment, but it wouldn't hold much longer. He need to re-center himself. Letting the demon out now was as bad an idea as possible.
"I should go back."
"Right." and before he could think, Hallelujah simply did it, leaning close enough to pull Vincent's collar down and kiss him. He stayed like that for a moment, before swiftly moving back and sending another of his crazy grins.
"Still, Lockon is mine~"
Maybe he himself had no idea about the relationships, but his other self had. Vincent was someone Halle would call...maybe not a friend - he never used this word - but someone close enough to want to protect him. Well, if Vincent needed protection, which was debatable.
Vincent did not resist at all. It ... meant a lot to him, he realized, that Halle wanted him close as much as Allelujah did. Not that the words would ever come out between them, but still, it was a fact : they both didn't mind him, and Chaos himself wasn't concerned about how this supposedly was complicated.
He frowned when Halle got possessive again, though.
"Remember what happened the last time you said that ?"
The ex-Turk got up to his full height, the cape now flapping in the suddenly stronger wind.
"I'll be around even if you don't see me. And ..." there was a flash of amusement in his eyes this time "you'll have to tell me how you knew I was there earlier."
That Halle did remember, but he shrugged it off. It's not like it was important right now. For the second question, however...
"That's a secret~♥" since no, he wasn't going to share, and knew Allelujah wouldn't share it either. Some things were better kept to oneself.
Well, if Halle wouldn't tell, it meant that Vincent would have to find out. That, at least, was familiar territory.
He did not say good bye before he jumped off the building. However, he did not just land on the floor like one would have expected. Instead, the red cape seemed to wrap itself around him as if it were alive, and bounded off the nearest wall in a flurry of red tendrils. The whirl of red slowly got farther and farther away, until it was impossible to distinguish him in the night.