life update
wow. it's been a while.
work's been going pretty well. it's hectic as always, but i wouldn't have it otherwise. in design class we're doing editorial design, and i've picked out a dave mckean interview to do the editorial on. the next project - the final - is a style guide for an imaginary film festival. it sounds daunting but also awesome. i remember laying out the brand manual for culina while i was still at ampersand and i was fascinated because all i was doing was organising these designs that were already made, but i wonder how they were made, and how the thought process was like. looks like i'll be finding out soon enough! today we presented our logo updates and the first draft of the editorial design, and my professor seemed to like mine, so that made me quite happy. it's genuinely soul-sucking, the amount of time i spend pushing elements to and fro across the screen infinitely. it's nice to have something to show for it.
got an A for my art history paper, which i was gratified about because i spent two weeks poring over clement greenberg, trying to make head and tail of it. before i knew it the time had slipped by and i had the weekend to write my paper. i ended up spending that still trying to organise thoughts in my brain. pulled an all-nighter to finish the paper and ended up falling sick. at that time i had felt pretty indignant because it wasn't even like i was procrastinating anymore - time had just slipped by me and i didn't even notice. i missed about three days of classes and spent that time trying to get back on a proper sleep schedule and knitting, which was very cathartic. i'm really excited about learning how to knit more things right now, but there's no time so i'll just wait til it's winter break. right now i can manage a simple scarf. heh.
i made a tiny insect drawing for my praxis class and my professor couldn't find much fault with it, though i knew he wasn't like, particularly wowed. so for open studios, i made another three drawings and i think that nailed it. hopefully that'll pull my abysmal B+ to at least an A-, but i'm not pinning my hopes on that because the class presentations weren't that great. well, if i can get As for everything else, it'll be fine. but i'd hate for this one class to pull down my average. anyway, open studios was great because my friends came and we looked at all the works together. i had a good time. it feels nice to have people think about your work and ask about it and also really great if they like it, too. i wish that all of you at home/ other places could have been there too, though. that would have been brill.
to be honest, though work is going splendidly, i don't think i've been truly happy in quite some time. in these past few months i've cried more than i've ever done so in such a short space. i feel like i'm losing bits of the person that i used to be. i used to like those parts of me, but now i just feel so... i don't know. alone, i guess. and scared. i don't even know what. i don't know if i've always been this way, and whether i'm just glorifying the past now that it's over, but i do think something's changing and i'm not sure if i like it. work consumes me and i'm glad because it makes me feel good, and i have control of it. i miss you people but i don't know how to keep in touch anymore. i feel like everyone's just doing their own thing - who can blame anyone, really? we're worlds apart now, and busy. yet knowing this, and being so myself, doesn't keep me from feeling lonely and far away.
well, in any case, we just keep floating. the sun sets at 5, it's dark by 5.15 or so. the days are shorter and i'm easily upset. it's great to be travelling and studying in different place, it's such a beautiful dream. but i think i might be happy to also rest in one place for an extended period of time. i'm getting so tired inside, it's hard to care about things that i used to want so much. well, can't wait to be home.
i can't believe we're turning 21 next year.
work's been going pretty well. it's hectic as always, but i wouldn't have it otherwise. in design class we're doing editorial design, and i've picked out a dave mckean interview to do the editorial on. the next project - the final - is a style guide for an imaginary film festival. it sounds daunting but also awesome. i remember laying out the brand manual for culina while i was still at ampersand and i was fascinated because all i was doing was organising these designs that were already made, but i wonder how they were made, and how the thought process was like. looks like i'll be finding out soon enough! today we presented our logo updates and the first draft of the editorial design, and my professor seemed to like mine, so that made me quite happy. it's genuinely soul-sucking, the amount of time i spend pushing elements to and fro across the screen infinitely. it's nice to have something to show for it.
got an A for my art history paper, which i was gratified about because i spent two weeks poring over clement greenberg, trying to make head and tail of it. before i knew it the time had slipped by and i had the weekend to write my paper. i ended up spending that still trying to organise thoughts in my brain. pulled an all-nighter to finish the paper and ended up falling sick. at that time i had felt pretty indignant because it wasn't even like i was procrastinating anymore - time had just slipped by me and i didn't even notice. i missed about three days of classes and spent that time trying to get back on a proper sleep schedule and knitting, which was very cathartic. i'm really excited about learning how to knit more things right now, but there's no time so i'll just wait til it's winter break. right now i can manage a simple scarf. heh.
i made a tiny insect drawing for my praxis class and my professor couldn't find much fault with it, though i knew he wasn't like, particularly wowed. so for open studios, i made another three drawings and i think that nailed it. hopefully that'll pull my abysmal B+ to at least an A-, but i'm not pinning my hopes on that because the class presentations weren't that great. well, if i can get As for everything else, it'll be fine. but i'd hate for this one class to pull down my average. anyway, open studios was great because my friends came and we looked at all the works together. i had a good time. it feels nice to have people think about your work and ask about it and also really great if they like it, too. i wish that all of you at home/ other places could have been there too, though. that would have been brill.
to be honest, though work is going splendidly, i don't think i've been truly happy in quite some time. in these past few months i've cried more than i've ever done so in such a short space. i feel like i'm losing bits of the person that i used to be. i used to like those parts of me, but now i just feel so... i don't know. alone, i guess. and scared. i don't even know what. i don't know if i've always been this way, and whether i'm just glorifying the past now that it's over, but i do think something's changing and i'm not sure if i like it. work consumes me and i'm glad because it makes me feel good, and i have control of it. i miss you people but i don't know how to keep in touch anymore. i feel like everyone's just doing their own thing - who can blame anyone, really? we're worlds apart now, and busy. yet knowing this, and being so myself, doesn't keep me from feeling lonely and far away.
well, in any case, we just keep floating. the sun sets at 5, it's dark by 5.15 or so. the days are shorter and i'm easily upset. it's great to be travelling and studying in different place, it's such a beautiful dream. but i think i might be happy to also rest in one place for an extended period of time. i'm getting so tired inside, it's hard to care about things that i used to want so much. well, can't wait to be home.
i can't believe we're turning 21 next year.