Mar 01, 2009 12:05
the interview
it could definitely have gone a lot better, had i been more prepared. instead i dove straight into exposing my absymal higher chinese grades and misinterpreted their question. but good things happened too, i guess. i got to talk about literature and art, and sometimes they laughed at the funny things i said. those parts were fun.
i am truly grateful to all the people who help me through it, especially claire and qian and geraldine, who were there when i really, really needed you guys. thanks also to nigel and chris and shuey and philip and britt! much, much love.
jgs round 2
we won, as we seem to always do. it was interesting to observe comp prep, being half in and half out of the loop, there but not really. to offer small advice, help in the tiniest way, but hopefully help. yong wei is a very capable coach, and all is good.
i missed rachel on the bus there. i guess because the girls were singing, and i remembered how my own jgs used to be. scary, and full of depression as i sit on the coach bus thinking, well, about the only thing i ever thought about at that point in time. the world of a sixteen-year-old is a small one, and by eighteen, it may grow a little but its centre is still the same. i missed rachel and the milkshake song we would sing, and the way we were inseparable although both of us wished we weren't. and now, i think we will forever do this hit-and-miss kind of hang-out, we'll never truly be close friends.
zouk with geraldine and then jacq
it was terrible. house music is so fucking boring that even neon pink light sticks and a dj wearing a mouse head with blinky light eyes can't save it. so i came up with some calorie-burning moves so that i can pretend the 25$ spent goes towards a healthy lifestyle. i hope geraldine found her own ways of salvaging the situation, or that at least i was entertaining enough to merit a favourable memory of this shit.
and now i know better! no zouk unless it involves phuture, or whichever other establishment has hip hop and rnb.
training in the morning after
a half-decent debate; there is hope in the world again. i think i might have been a little too stern with one of the sec ones. i hope she didn't almost cry. but it's all part of the learning journey. i know mine was mortifying.
i must remember to appreciate that debating is a demanding sport, and not to expect too damn much from the girls who have only just stepped in.
camera-hunting with mr wahj
mr wahj was incredibly nice to take the time to bring me camera shopping. it was a good afternoon. we spent the whole time teaching me about camera jargon, and i think i can finally decipher what the numbers on camera lenses mean. also learnt some new things, which i am very eager to try out. we went to three or four little shops in the city hall area, where i had to make a decision between an old but functional camera with a fixed lens for cheap, and a mint condition body with a zoom lens for twice the price. i chose the latter, and did not bargain.
i think i should have, and not having the presence of mind to decide, there and then, to take on that fight makes me a little disappointed in myself. did i not have the guts to do it? the image of the tibetan shop woman in nepal still scares me. but there is nothing to be scared of, really. i am going to treat the money that i would have kept had i bargained as lesson fees for this real life course on how we will never know until we ask. i will not fear from now on.
the camera is sitting in my mom's makeshift dry box on the dining table. it kind of reminds me of a pet tarantula, or something, surrounded by its natural habitat of spare lenses and styrofoam. i feel this strange little affection for it, the kind of affection that makes you want to name your appliances and have them take on a gender like the way the french treat their furniture. but i don't think i could name it, it's too odd.
i am excited. i shall go out and discover new things about photography, and then some things in my life will at least be beautiful even if others are not. this is the way things shall always be, because life is real, and can never be more beautiful than now, where it is indecisively so.
tea and shopping with jianyi
it was good to catch up again. we had a lot of hilarity, walking in the rain and ruining both our nice footwear, and then trouncing around shopping malls in wet jeans. the cake was great, as was the company, and he finally got a bag, hence ending a month-long quest for it. i think we were both very proud. jianyi is the nicest boy, and i really appreciated him carrying my laptop around for me. i definitely would not have had as much fun otherwise, since dying from exertion usually kills one's chances of having a good time.
i returned home absolutely beat from the long days and lack of sleep, and couldn't talk to anyone. it was like the more i talked, the more i knew i was going to end up snapping at someone. now in the morning i am recharged and ready to go, and hopefully not scary nor forbidding to anyone i love. i love people, but sometimes it gets a little hard to love people.
life,
going for things,
friends,
sigh,
the future,
happy times (:,
fm2