and still we're amused but love, love, love
for calmyness of the soul, I put a whale windchime in the southwest corner of my room and finished putting my posters up. I really want to know who took CD 2 from my bebop OST. bastards, whoever they are. yesterday or thereabouts, the other child arrived back to HER home and I was promptly called to make watch, and invited to go to santa cruz with melissa and her tomorrow (which is technically today) but i'm not feeling too well. I need the drowsy-knock-you-out yellow allergy pills. those substitute my nytol a lot, they work just as well only killing two birds with two pills since they also cut down on sneezing. but I should vacuum anyway and finish cleaning my room for peace. (yay world peace, my room clean) so, I watched nikki today and man has she changed. she's been the center of attention for two months and apparently it's really offensive that I don't like her pulling on me and telling me I WILL buy her a 30$ fake barbie cd player (it played little plastic records, but not cds which I thought sucked) or else. next time, the only smile she's going to get is when she sits down and shuts up because I refuse to spoil her again. I only did it this time because mom paid for it. but yah, she's not my kid (thank god, and I'm never having children, argue with me and die; children cause violence, cancer, epilepsy, and grey hair) so I don't care as long as she goes back to mommy at the end of the day. (mommy came home an hour early and I forgot to take my cell phone off silent, so... she was mad. oops.
i kept meaning to type this story, but I forgot like eight times, but now I remember and I can type it - I helped two deaf ladies get to downtown san jose via the 22 bus because they didn't understand the signs (or the driver, because he didn't know any sign language) and I was amazed at how friendly they were about me knowing not that much of their language. I think they were just pleased that I tried as hard as I could, even though the one lady had to do a LOT of lip reading. Jimmy told me that since he lipreads, it's really hard when people treat him like he's retarded and slow down when they talk because the words don't look the same, so I didn't and they understood me just fine and I asked them where they wanted to go in sign language and it was neat. (let's just throw ALL grammar to the wind, here, I'm being lazy for the rest of ever.)
the lamp mom got me really rocks, it has five bulbs and the clicky thing makes them all turn on one at a time so if you go real fast it looks like either a) a bad episode of wayne's world or b) christmas decorations. speaking of which, I want rope lights or icicle lights to hang in my window while I sleep since I don't have a night light. and ever since my windchime and my new bed, I kinda like my room. (oh and my new tv just couldn't be hurting any...) it's more comfortable to be in, but even more so when no one is home.
At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.
Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbors and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.
oh.
1. What routine (daily or weekly) do you wish you could get rid of?
drowning the monkey! no. um, probably eating daily. wait, I don't eat daily. I would get rid of work only still get paid. that'd be great, yeah.
2. What's your dream car?
I would like to have a pearl-blue 2002 nissan exterra v6 5/4sp manual/auto and fully loaded. (and when I say fully, I mean all the shit: 6 cd-changer, power everything, air, keyless entry, remote, roof racks, running boards, etc because that's the only way to go these days) I would like this car to tote around my doggies and have lots of living space in case I get kicked out of my house one day. (read as: preparing for the inevitable)
3. What is one thing you see other people doing, that you yourself could never see yourself doing?
having a boyfriend. it would just seem so wrong.
4. What's one thing that you've always wanted to learn, but haven't yet?
I want to learn how to play the piano. that would rock major.
5. In your opinion, what are the easiest and hardest jobs in the world? Why?
easiest: famous person via entertainment industry apart from really entertaining. apparently, if you know enough FOAFs, you get around in the world. hardest: janitors in high schools. I look up to these people. it can't be fun to be laughed at constantly while cleaning up the messes of teenagers. it's downright... icky.
oh yeah & first to comment gets five questions from me, at least i think that's how it goes... that's what rob said. but he's a bastard, i love him. hehe.
yeah, and I ordered a bunch more shit (such as cell phone covers, pants, dvds, music cds, paintings, books) from e-bay and then I went to marshall's and spent a couple hundred dollars to deal with stress. this is not good. instead of eating (like I used to) when I get stressed, I buy things. a LOT of things, not necessarily cheap stuff. I'm still a smart shopper, I just shop for a lot more. (well, not smart when I bought those pants that were super not worth what I paid, but that's life. they looked ultra worth when I went out to dinner that night with greg and mom and the waitress was like hi i'm courtney and those are nice pants then she was slow with the refills. they're green and have orange contrast stitching and left-handed buttons.) ha, and i bought two bikinis and one has cherry print! i finally found a cherry print bikini! though it's not white and cherry and fuzzy soft like the material i found at raft, it's blue and cherries so it's good enough for me. it beats the loud colored stripes any day. i also got a blue one that i can double as a bra, which is pretty cool. yeah, so... hah.
oh yeah, and killing giggling girls should be legal in canada. I would never get killed - I don't giggle. I'm not happy enough to giggle, I wish I could giggle. no, for now, it's my stupid brother who giggles. that just isn't right - are boys supposed to giggle?
...
*picks her nose*
i kept meaning to type this story, but I forgot like eight times, but now I remember and I can type it - I helped two deaf ladies get to downtown san jose via the 22 bus because they didn't understand the signs (or the driver, because he didn't know any sign language) and I was amazed at how friendly they were about me knowing not that much of their language. I think they were just pleased that I tried as hard as I could, even though the one lady had to do a LOT of lip reading. Jimmy told me that since he lipreads, it's really hard when people treat him like he's retarded and slow down when they talk because the words don't look the same, so I didn't and they understood me just fine and I asked them where they wanted to go in sign language and it was neat. (let's just throw ALL grammar to the wind, here, I'm being lazy for the rest of ever.)
the lamp mom got me really rocks, it has five bulbs and the clicky thing makes them all turn on one at a time so if you go real fast it looks like either a) a bad episode of wayne's world or b) christmas decorations. speaking of which, I want rope lights or icicle lights to hang in my window while I sleep since I don't have a night light. and ever since my windchime and my new bed, I kinda like my room. (oh and my new tv just couldn't be hurting any...) it's more comfortable to be in, but even more so when no one is home.
At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.
Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbors and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.
oh.
1. What routine (daily or weekly) do you wish you could get rid of?
drowning the monkey! no. um, probably eating daily. wait, I don't eat daily. I would get rid of work only still get paid. that'd be great, yeah.
2. What's your dream car?
I would like to have a pearl-blue 2002 nissan exterra v6 5/4sp manual/auto and fully loaded. (and when I say fully, I mean all the shit: 6 cd-changer, power everything, air, keyless entry, remote, roof racks, running boards, etc because that's the only way to go these days) I would like this car to tote around my doggies and have lots of living space in case I get kicked out of my house one day. (read as: preparing for the inevitable)
3. What is one thing you see other people doing, that you yourself could never see yourself doing?
having a boyfriend. it would just seem so wrong.
4. What's one thing that you've always wanted to learn, but haven't yet?
I want to learn how to play the piano. that would rock major.
5. In your opinion, what are the easiest and hardest jobs in the world? Why?
easiest: famous person via entertainment industry apart from really entertaining. apparently, if you know enough FOAFs, you get around in the world. hardest: janitors in high schools. I look up to these people. it can't be fun to be laughed at constantly while cleaning up the messes of teenagers. it's downright... icky.
oh yeah & first to comment gets five questions from me, at least i think that's how it goes... that's what rob said. but he's a bastard, i love him. hehe.
yeah, and I ordered a bunch more shit (such as cell phone covers, pants, dvds, music cds, paintings, books) from e-bay and then I went to marshall's and spent a couple hundred dollars to deal with stress. this is not good. instead of eating (like I used to) when I get stressed, I buy things. a LOT of things, not necessarily cheap stuff. I'm still a smart shopper, I just shop for a lot more. (well, not smart when I bought those pants that were super not worth what I paid, but that's life. they looked ultra worth when I went out to dinner that night with greg and mom and the waitress was like hi i'm courtney and those are nice pants then she was slow with the refills. they're green and have orange contrast stitching and left-handed buttons.) ha, and i bought two bikinis and one has cherry print! i finally found a cherry print bikini! though it's not white and cherry and fuzzy soft like the material i found at raft, it's blue and cherries so it's good enough for me. it beats the loud colored stripes any day. i also got a blue one that i can double as a bra, which is pretty cool. yeah, so... hah.
oh yeah, and killing giggling girls should be legal in canada. I would never get killed - I don't giggle. I'm not happy enough to giggle, I wish I could giggle. no, for now, it's my stupid brother who giggles. that just isn't right - are boys supposed to giggle?
...
*picks her nose*