iHate
Maybe hate is too strong a word for my feelings towards iPhones, I have never actually owned one or used one for more than a few seconds. What shits me to tears is not the iPhone itself, but the cultural trappings that surround them.
It seems to be physically impossible for a iPhone owner to say they are going to make a call on their phone, they must say they are going to use their iPhone, not just a normal mobile phone, it has to be said it is an iPhone. Didn’t you hear him? He is going to make a phone call on his iPhone! Can you not see how achingly cool, tech savvy and awesome he is?
As soon as everyone got a mobile phone, having one ceased to be any kind of statement, for a while it looked like mobile phones were going to become just another piece of tech. Enter Apple, the company that is the epitome of non-conforming, cutting edge technology, for no other reason than they are not Microsoft, creating the iPhone.
Now if you are a certain kind of person, you simply must own an iPhone, even if Apple is just as much a symbol of the corporate greed and rampart consumerism as the companies you boycott, you will forgive them because of the streamlined design and the connectivity with your iMac. You will ignore the painful fact that every other wanker has an iPhone, because you had the instragram app before it was cool, and anyway you have a Moleskine cover for it. It must trigger some heavy duty cognitive dissonance for the hipsters, and I can’t help but wonder if they ever wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, sweating, and anxiously reach for their iPhone, and then come to the realisation that it’s only a mobile phone, it’s not an extension of their personality.