Some things I know, some things I don't...
We won our softball game last night! Yippee! It wasn't easy either, we had to work for it. I guess that's what being in a competitive league gets us now. I told Larry that I wanted him to work with me on some of my fielding, the whole transition from catching the ball to throwing it...it needs to be faster. I know that I can do it faster. I'm also gonna hit up the batting cages. I am tired of hitting like crap every time I get up there. I know that a lot of it has to do with me being impatient but beyond that, hitting a few at Malibu Grand Prix can only help.
I haven't really talked to Jorge. I mean, we've talked since the incident (not when he stole but when he was a buthole two weekends ago) and he still fails to see that he crossed the line. In Jorge's mind everyone else is always to blame and his actions are never the catalyst but the product of whatever everyone else does. It is a mentality that he has had for a long time...one that neither my parents nor I have ever stood up to really so it's no surprise that it is coming back to bite my ass now, lol. Chris told me that I needed to have a relationship with Jorge on my terms. That I could still love him and care about him without letting him take advantage of me, without it being one sided. I know that that is what I should be doing, it's just easier said than done, lol. I have been standing my ground too. When Jorge and I talked a couple of days ago he blamed me for pretty much everything and then spent the rest of the conversation letting me know that no matter what siblings had to be best friends and that I could stay mad and act like I didn't trust him for as long as I wanted but it didn't matter because in the end he would get his way and I would come back to him! Bless his heart, he wants to be angry but end up sounding desperate instead. I know that my relationship with him is important to him but I also know that he doesn't truly appreciate it either. I just want to matter to him and I believe that it can happen. I just have to stick up for myself, love him (but not at the expense of myself) and he needs to do some work/healing on his own. Blah...either way, things are different. Oh yeah, and he's been dismissed from Fullsail again. SInce he and I really aren't talking that much and I haven't been able to get a straight answer out of my dad (I don't know that he has gotten a straight answer from Jorge, haha) I don't know what happened or what the story is, but I do know that he is going to "appeal" the decision, whatever that means...
Other than that nothing much else is new. Things are still going really well with Chris...I still get butterflies every time I go to hang out with him...haha, is that normal??? Anyways...just in case you haven't, everyone needs to watch John from Cincinnati, a new show from HBO. It's freakin' excellent. K, that's all.
I haven't really talked to Jorge. I mean, we've talked since the incident (not when he stole but when he was a buthole two weekends ago) and he still fails to see that he crossed the line. In Jorge's mind everyone else is always to blame and his actions are never the catalyst but the product of whatever everyone else does. It is a mentality that he has had for a long time...one that neither my parents nor I have ever stood up to really so it's no surprise that it is coming back to bite my ass now, lol. Chris told me that I needed to have a relationship with Jorge on my terms. That I could still love him and care about him without letting him take advantage of me, without it being one sided. I know that that is what I should be doing, it's just easier said than done, lol. I have been standing my ground too. When Jorge and I talked a couple of days ago he blamed me for pretty much everything and then spent the rest of the conversation letting me know that no matter what siblings had to be best friends and that I could stay mad and act like I didn't trust him for as long as I wanted but it didn't matter because in the end he would get his way and I would come back to him! Bless his heart, he wants to be angry but end up sounding desperate instead. I know that my relationship with him is important to him but I also know that he doesn't truly appreciate it either. I just want to matter to him and I believe that it can happen. I just have to stick up for myself, love him (but not at the expense of myself) and he needs to do some work/healing on his own. Blah...either way, things are different. Oh yeah, and he's been dismissed from Fullsail again. SInce he and I really aren't talking that much and I haven't been able to get a straight answer out of my dad (I don't know that he has gotten a straight answer from Jorge, haha) I don't know what happened or what the story is, but I do know that he is going to "appeal" the decision, whatever that means...
Other than that nothing much else is new. Things are still going really well with Chris...I still get butterflies every time I go to hang out with him...haha, is that normal??? Anyways...just in case you haven't, everyone needs to watch John from Cincinnati, a new show from HBO. It's freakin' excellent. K, that's all.