Doctor Who: Give Me Some Plunger
Title: Give Me Some Plunger
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Characters: Doctor, Donna, and some Daleks
Summary: The Doctor and Donna come across some Daleks doing... Well, they're not quite sure what. But they hope it's not what they think it is.
Category: Humour/Crack
Word Count: 504
Author's Notes: Co-authored with LevinaIndigo.
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the BBC.
The Doctor rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, seizing Donna-who was two steps behind him-and dragging her back behind the wall. She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger to his lips and jerked his head toward the corner, effectively silencing her.
Flattening himself against the wall, he peeked carefully around the corner. Daleks. Two of them. They were standing fairly close to one another; they looked to be talking, but they were too far away for the Doctor to hear what they were saying.
"What is it, Doctor?" Donna hissed.
"Daleks," he whispered, motioning for her to look.
Stepping up behind the Doctor, she poked her head around the corner of the building.
"REA-LLY?"
"REA-LLY. I. SWEAR. TO. YOU."
"HA. HA. HA."
"THERE. WAS. THIS. ONE. HU-MAN. THAT. WAS. ALL. 'PLEASE. DO. NOT. EX-TER-MIN-ATE. ME. I. HAVE. SO. MUCH. TO. LIVE. FOR.' AND. I. WAS. LIKE. 'OH. I. DID. NOT. RE-A-LISE.' AND. I. PRE-TEN-DED. TO. LET. HIM. GO. BUT. THEN. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HIM. AN-Y-WAY."
"HA. HA. HA. I. WISH. I. COULD. HAVE. SEEN. THE. LOOK. ON. HIS. FACE. WHEN. YOU. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HIM."
"IT. WAS. ALL. LIKE. 'OH. NO. I HAVE. JUST. BEEN. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED.' "
"THAT. IS. MY. FA-VOU-RITE. LOOK. EV-ER."
"IT. IS. THE. ON-LY. LOOK. I. CARE. TO. SEE."
"HU-MANS. ARE. SO. STU-PID. ONCE. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. A. HU-MAN. AND. THEY. DID. NOT. E-VEN. SEE. IT. CO-MING. HU-MANS. WILL. BE-LIEVE. IT. WHEN. YOU. SAY. THAT. YOU. 'COME. IN. PEACE.' EV-ER-Y. TIME."
"LAST. WEEK. I. TOLD. A. HU-MAN. THAT. I. WAS. A. RU-BBISH. BIN. AND. THEY. TO-TA-LLY. BE-LIEVED. IT."
"THEY. BE-LIEVED. THAT. THERE. ARE. TALK-ING. DA-LEK. SHAPED. RU-BBISH. BINS?"
"HU-MANS. ARE. FAR. SU-PER-I-OR. TO. DA-LEKS. IN. BE-ING. COM-PLETE-LY. THICK."
"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. AF-TER. THEY. BE-LIEVED. YOU?"
"I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. THEM."
"HA. HA. HA. HA."
"THE. FE-MALE. WAS. LIKE. 'NO. PLEASE. MY. FAM-I-LY.' BUT. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HER. AN-Y-WAY. AND. THEN. HER. FA-MILY."
"HA. HA. HA."
"THE. OTH-ER. HU-MANS. WERE. JUST. STAN-DING. THERE. LIKE. 'I. CAN'T. E-VEN. BE-LIEVE. IT.' "
"AND. THEN. DID. YOU. EX-TER-MIN-ATE. THEM. AS. WELL?"
"YOU'D. BETT-ER. BE-LIEVE. I. DID. IT. WAS. AWE-SOME. YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN. THERE."
"I. HEAR. THAT."
"GIVE. ME. SOME. PLUN-GER."
The Doctor strained his ears to hear what the Daleks were talking about, but he could not make out much more than the occasional 'EXTERMINATED'. Suddenly, the Daleks rolled closer to one another and pressed their plunger arms together.
"Erm... Doctor..." Donna whispered, sounding slightly uncomfortable, "What are they...doing?"
The Doctor hesitated. "I'm...not entirely sure..."
"They're not..." She gave a nervous sort of laugh. "They're not... You know..."
He honestly wasn't sure. He hoped not. "Not what?" he asked, hoping she wasn't thinking the same thing he was.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, do I really need to spell it out for you, what it looks like they're doing?"
"No. Please don't."
"Well then. Are they?"
"I honestly don't know."
"Well, I bloody well hope not. That is not somethin' I ever want to think about, thank you very much."
"Agreed."
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Characters: Doctor, Donna, and some Daleks
Summary: The Doctor and Donna come across some Daleks doing... Well, they're not quite sure what. But they hope it's not what they think it is.
Category: Humour/Crack
Word Count: 504
Author's Notes: Co-authored with LevinaIndigo.
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the BBC.
The Doctor rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, seizing Donna-who was two steps behind him-and dragging her back behind the wall. She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger to his lips and jerked his head toward the corner, effectively silencing her.
Flattening himself against the wall, he peeked carefully around the corner. Daleks. Two of them. They were standing fairly close to one another; they looked to be talking, but they were too far away for the Doctor to hear what they were saying.
"What is it, Doctor?" Donna hissed.
"Daleks," he whispered, motioning for her to look.
Stepping up behind the Doctor, she poked her head around the corner of the building.
"REA-LLY?"
"REA-LLY. I. SWEAR. TO. YOU."
"HA. HA. HA."
"THERE. WAS. THIS. ONE. HU-MAN. THAT. WAS. ALL. 'PLEASE. DO. NOT. EX-TER-MIN-ATE. ME. I. HAVE. SO. MUCH. TO. LIVE. FOR.' AND. I. WAS. LIKE. 'OH. I. DID. NOT. RE-A-LISE.' AND. I. PRE-TEN-DED. TO. LET. HIM. GO. BUT. THEN. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HIM. AN-Y-WAY."
"HA. HA. HA. I. WISH. I. COULD. HAVE. SEEN. THE. LOOK. ON. HIS. FACE. WHEN. YOU. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HIM."
"IT. WAS. ALL. LIKE. 'OH. NO. I HAVE. JUST. BEEN. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED.' "
"THAT. IS. MY. FA-VOU-RITE. LOOK. EV-ER."
"IT. IS. THE. ON-LY. LOOK. I. CARE. TO. SEE."
"HU-MANS. ARE. SO. STU-PID. ONCE. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. A. HU-MAN. AND. THEY. DID. NOT. E-VEN. SEE. IT. CO-MING. HU-MANS. WILL. BE-LIEVE. IT. WHEN. YOU. SAY. THAT. YOU. 'COME. IN. PEACE.' EV-ER-Y. TIME."
"LAST. WEEK. I. TOLD. A. HU-MAN. THAT. I. WAS. A. RU-BBISH. BIN. AND. THEY. TO-TA-LLY. BE-LIEVED. IT."
"THEY. BE-LIEVED. THAT. THERE. ARE. TALK-ING. DA-LEK. SHAPED. RU-BBISH. BINS?"
"HU-MANS. ARE. FAR. SU-PER-I-OR. TO. DA-LEKS. IN. BE-ING. COM-PLETE-LY. THICK."
"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. AF-TER. THEY. BE-LIEVED. YOU?"
"I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. THEM."
"HA. HA. HA. HA."
"THE. FE-MALE. WAS. LIKE. 'NO. PLEASE. MY. FAM-I-LY.' BUT. I. EX-TER-MIN-A-TED. HER. AN-Y-WAY. AND. THEN. HER. FA-MILY."
"HA. HA. HA."
"THE. OTH-ER. HU-MANS. WERE. JUST. STAN-DING. THERE. LIKE. 'I. CAN'T. E-VEN. BE-LIEVE. IT.' "
"AND. THEN. DID. YOU. EX-TER-MIN-ATE. THEM. AS. WELL?"
"YOU'D. BETT-ER. BE-LIEVE. I. DID. IT. WAS. AWE-SOME. YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN. THERE."
"I. HEAR. THAT."
"GIVE. ME. SOME. PLUN-GER."
The Doctor strained his ears to hear what the Daleks were talking about, but he could not make out much more than the occasional 'EXTERMINATED'. Suddenly, the Daleks rolled closer to one another and pressed their plunger arms together.
"Erm... Doctor..." Donna whispered, sounding slightly uncomfortable, "What are they...doing?"
The Doctor hesitated. "I'm...not entirely sure..."
"They're not..." She gave a nervous sort of laugh. "They're not... You know..."
He honestly wasn't sure. He hoped not. "Not what?" he asked, hoping she wasn't thinking the same thing he was.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, do I really need to spell it out for you, what it looks like they're doing?"
"No. Please don't."
"Well then. Are they?"
"I honestly don't know."
"Well, I bloody well hope not. That is not somethin' I ever want to think about, thank you very much."
"Agreed."