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I don't know what's wrong with me. I live in the MOST gorgeous city in the world. I will with three incredibly awesome people, I have a wonderfully goof and lovable cat and I'm just...not happy. During the week I go to work, I come home, I relax for a couple hours and I pass out. That's it. I don't go enjoy the city; I don't have the energy to do
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Whenever I get glum, I try to identify the thought processes that are making me upset and really analyze them and see if they're valid. You have to be really strong about it and not give into that desire to feel sorry for yourself. It sounds like you have some anxiety about people judging you. You know the truth? Most people are so worried about how THEY look that they don't even notice how you look.
Also, people are shallow. You have to develop a sense of self-worth that isn't tied to how you look. There are always going to be people more and less attractive than you, and that's just the way it is. I haven't experienced the bar scene, really, so I'm sure it gets disheartening, but maybe you don't really want to meet a guy at a bar. There's probably TONS of ways to meet people in Chicago that don't involve bars.
If you just don't feel like you can do it on your own, you should see a therapist. They're not necessarily going to just give you a pill and tell you it'll make everything better. If you get a therapist like that, find another one. A therapist can teach you more constructive ways of thinking and generally better ways of coping with what's going on in your life. It's another perspective, and a person you can be totally honest with.
Hope this helps.
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