(Untitled)

[adrian_the_dork]

Stop hugging me, seriously family and well-meaning friends and obscure people who went to school with us and heard from their friend on facebook that my sister died. No more hugs! No more! Do not want! I know you just want me to know you care. I appreciate that. I honestly do. BUT STOP FUCKING TOUCHING MEEEEEE! Trust me, if I'm needing a cuddle, I

Comments

[jolteons]

BEFORE you read this: It is musings of an anthropological and perhaps totally insensitive nature. Feel free to get offended but please don't hold it against me later, for I love you!!! ♥ Ok, now if you feel like it, proceed....

I remember in sociology in high school when we watched this video about how in today's society, people are no longer used to dealing with death and are super shitty at acknowledging and confronting it. Like, as a societal thing. How because we have sort of cast off the job of dealing with the dead body itself we process death much differently than our ancestors did.

And ever since then I've had this weird quirk where I pay a lot of attention to how people respond to death because in a strange way all of our societal "advancements" have caused us, as a society, to by and large ignore the ONE FREAKIN' INEVITABILITY in life. An experience we all will share. The one thing that unites us as humans: we are all going to die. It's fascinating to me the way that people for whom whatever loss in an incidental thing will try to distance themselves from it as much as possible in order to continue on in their world where they pretend that NO ONE DIES. It's bizarre!

And how the grieving process for those close goes on much more intensely and longer than it used to, because society has already systematically ignored the loss! Culturally, WHAT ARE WE PLAYING AT?

Anyways, so this post reminded me of how much we, as people, completely flounder when confronted with death. Now I have my anthropologist hat on instead of my good LJ friend hat. But I thought maybe as someone in a unique though totally not enviable situation, you might be interested :-)

♥

[adrian_the_dork]

not offended. not in the least. <3

I actually think you are perfectly correct. People arent used to their loved ones dying young now, so when they do, it's shock more than anything. People arent as aware of their own mortality anymore. Unless you happen to be in a medical profession, most of us are never, ever going to see a dead body, which I think is a major part of it.

Hell, they thought I was totally insane for demanding they let me see Kelly's at the hospital. Apparently it's not proceedure if someone dies during surgery and they prefer you to wait until the funeral home. wtf? I dont understand that. I think you could avoid a lot of the shock and denial if people actually saw their dead ACTUALLY lying there dead. Speeds up the process.

I also agree that society just kind of ignores death because its awkward. which means grieving people are alienated once their month or so long period of "acceptable grieving" is up and end up hanging onto all that shit for waaay too long because they now no longer have anyone they can express it to.

society, you suck.

I like your anthropologist hat. It's actually kind of, in a weird way, just what I needed to hear. no more of this "OMG THINKING OF YOU" stuff. which is sweet and wonderful, but doesnt give me anything new to chew on. lol. So thanks Tess. much appreciated.