Defenestration
Title: Defenestration
Rating: ...Maybe T.
Prompt: These quotes: "We shouldn't have done that", "Don't hurt me" and (not needed, but preferable) "Tap dancing with an octopus". These words; (any form of) "to defenestrate", "to synchronise" and "callipygous".
Pairing: Cloud/Squall, implied Irvine/Squall, some Reno/Lightning
Warnings: RenoxLightning crack pairing? Oh, and OOCness. But, well, it's crack. That sort of goes without say.
Notes: Um, yeah. I have no words with which to describe this. It's pure crack with a crappy ending. And I really don't know where the RenoxLightning thing came from.
Defenestration
“We shouldn’t have done that.” Squall leaned out the window, glancing down at the twitching redhead splattered on the ground three floors below.
Cloud glanced at his sometimes boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Why not?” he asked idly. His eyes roamed over Squall’s body, noting just how callipygous the younger man was. It was easily seen in those tight leather pants he liked to wear; they hugged his butt perfectly.
Squall turned to face the distracted blonde man (unfortunately ruining the view in the process) with a more than a little annoyed scowl decorating his face. “We just defenestrated Reno! Lightning’s going to kill us when she finds out; you know how overprotective she can get-and that’s just about people that she’s not sleeping with.”
Cloud shrugged. “He had it coming.”
“I don’t disagree, but all the same...that was a little overboard, Cloud.” The dark-haired young man was full out glaring now, and the crime’s main perpetrator sighed in disappointment as he resigned himself to the fact that his pleasant view was now gone. And just when he’d given up hope-Squall turned back to peer out the window. A contented sigh now pulled from the happy blonde’s mouth as he went back to enjoying the view from the loveseat he sprawled out on.
“He insulted you,” Cloud rebuffed at last. “Besides, what are you grouping yourself in this for? I’m the one who shoved him out the window.”
“First of all, he only said that I should try synchronised tap dancing with an octopus, that’s hardly an insult. A little weird, yes, but it’s Reno. Every word that comes out of his mouth is weird. Second of all, I didn’t actually stop you, Hyne knows why. And that’s-crap!”
“What?”
“Lightning just found her boyfriend.”
“...Fuck.”
Squall swallowed nervously as the pink-haired woman’s eyes met his. Three stories apart, and he could still just feel the anger aimed directly at him (of course, it helped that the woman was pulling out her own gunblade-and that was a damn fine weapon, if the male gunblader did say so himself).
“Hey, don’t hurt me!” he called down. “Cloud’s the one who did it!”
“Then get your boyfriend the fuck down here!” was the faint call in response.
“He’s not my boyfriend today!” the young man shouted back.
“Do I look like I care?!”
Squall glanced over his shoulder to find his blonde sometimes boyfriend zoned out, eyes focussed on a very specific spot. He scowled. Clearly there was only one way to settle this. In one final moment of insanity, the dark-haired gunblader grabbed the older man and abruptly defenestrated him, as well.
Cloud, when he realized what was happening about halfway to the ground, managed to get out a, “What the hell-aah!” before and as he collided with the ground. And then only pained screams could be heard as the fierce woman below had her way with the man.
Squall smiled satisfactorily as watched the show, but paused slightly when he realized that this would make Cloud incapacitated tomorrow when they would normally get back together.
“Crap,” he muttered. “Whatever. Maybe Irvine’s free the next couple of days...” And with that decided, he turned from the window, fully content in the sounds of Cloud’s pain.
Rating: ...Maybe T.
Prompt: These quotes: "We shouldn't have done that", "Don't hurt me" and (not needed, but preferable) "Tap dancing with an octopus". These words; (any form of) "to defenestrate", "to synchronise" and "callipygous".
Pairing: Cloud/Squall, implied Irvine/Squall, some Reno/Lightning
Warnings: RenoxLightning crack pairing? Oh, and OOCness. But, well, it's crack. That sort of goes without say.
Notes: Um, yeah. I have no words with which to describe this. It's pure crack with a crappy ending. And I really don't know where the RenoxLightning thing came from.
Defenestration
“We shouldn’t have done that.” Squall leaned out the window, glancing down at the twitching redhead splattered on the ground three floors below.
Cloud glanced at his sometimes boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Why not?” he asked idly. His eyes roamed over Squall’s body, noting just how callipygous the younger man was. It was easily seen in those tight leather pants he liked to wear; they hugged his butt perfectly.
Squall turned to face the distracted blonde man (unfortunately ruining the view in the process) with a more than a little annoyed scowl decorating his face. “We just defenestrated Reno! Lightning’s going to kill us when she finds out; you know how overprotective she can get-and that’s just about people that she’s not sleeping with.”
Cloud shrugged. “He had it coming.”
“I don’t disagree, but all the same...that was a little overboard, Cloud.” The dark-haired young man was full out glaring now, and the crime’s main perpetrator sighed in disappointment as he resigned himself to the fact that his pleasant view was now gone. And just when he’d given up hope-Squall turned back to peer out the window. A contented sigh now pulled from the happy blonde’s mouth as he went back to enjoying the view from the loveseat he sprawled out on.
“He insulted you,” Cloud rebuffed at last. “Besides, what are you grouping yourself in this for? I’m the one who shoved him out the window.”
“First of all, he only said that I should try synchronised tap dancing with an octopus, that’s hardly an insult. A little weird, yes, but it’s Reno. Every word that comes out of his mouth is weird. Second of all, I didn’t actually stop you, Hyne knows why. And that’s-crap!”
“What?”
“Lightning just found her boyfriend.”
“...Fuck.”
Squall swallowed nervously as the pink-haired woman’s eyes met his. Three stories apart, and he could still just feel the anger aimed directly at him (of course, it helped that the woman was pulling out her own gunblade-and that was a damn fine weapon, if the male gunblader did say so himself).
“Hey, don’t hurt me!” he called down. “Cloud’s the one who did it!”
“Then get your boyfriend the fuck down here!” was the faint call in response.
“He’s not my boyfriend today!” the young man shouted back.
“Do I look like I care?!”
Squall glanced over his shoulder to find his blonde sometimes boyfriend zoned out, eyes focussed on a very specific spot. He scowled. Clearly there was only one way to settle this. In one final moment of insanity, the dark-haired gunblader grabbed the older man and abruptly defenestrated him, as well.
Cloud, when he realized what was happening about halfway to the ground, managed to get out a, “What the hell-aah!” before and as he collided with the ground. And then only pained screams could be heard as the fierce woman below had her way with the man.
Squall smiled satisfactorily as watched the show, but paused slightly when he realized that this would make Cloud incapacitated tomorrow when they would normally get back together.
“Crap,” he muttered. “Whatever. Maybe Irvine’s free the next couple of days...” And with that decided, he turned from the window, fully content in the sounds of Cloud’s pain.