Lady Luck, part III

[adrenalineshots]

-o- Screwed -o-

The scene was all too familiar and recent for the people of House 51 not to establish parallels.

For one, they were in the same waiting room as before. Or maybe it was a different one, but it smelled the same and they were stuck with the same uncomfortable chairs that seemed made only of sharp angles. It was close enough.

There was a different doctor on duty this time around, but he too was one well known by everyone around, so the feeling of being in friendly hands was still there at least.

The clock on the wall said three AM, but no one was really paying attention to what time it was. The clock was there as a measurement of worry, mostly. It had been two hours since the helicopter had landed on the roof of the hospital and Matt had been rushed inside. Every tic and every tac that rolled by made the probability of something going wrong more and more real. A monster fed by passing minutes.

In her mind, Dawson kept going back to the same vision of Matt in the OR the time before, his head strapped down and everyone around him getting ready to drill a hole into his head. This time around, she couldn't find the strength in her legs to carry her down the hallway and search for Matt. She was too afraid of what she might find.

There were less people waiting with her this time around. The chief was leaning against the wall, trying hard to suppress his urge to pace a hole on the ground, an urge that he gave in to every couple of minutes anyhow.

Herrmann was slumped against one of the uncomfortable chairs, his exhaustion such that he actually managed to make it look like the most comfortable seat in the world. At his side, Smith and Bowman had joined the group, both worried about the fate of a man that they had only met a couple of hours before.

Sitting in front of Herrmann was Severide, arms crossed over his chest and his head leaning against the wall. For anyone passing by, it looked like he was dozing off, not a care in the world. Those who knew him, however, could easily recognize the deception in the tension of his shoulders and the way his hands were balled into fists, hidden under his armpits.

Dawson pulled closer the leather jacket that Severide had put over her shoulders, trying to still the shivers coursing through her body. She didn't really cared if the chills were because of the cold air in the waiting room or because she was in shock, she just wanted them to stop. They were all in shock, she figured.

Part of Severide's tense posture, Dawson knew to be due to his worry for Matt. She and Kelly had been the only ones truly aware of the risks Matt was taking by continuing on the job, the only ones who knew how bad things could be if he injured his brain a second time.

The other part of why Severide was sitting as far away from her as he could and would not meet her eyes was because he was still pissed at what had happened during the rescue. Mostly at himself, she thought.

For all intents and purposes, Severide had been forced to allow one victim to go in to a crazy dangerous situation to aid a second victim, when they had been in a helicopter filled with trained Search and Rescue professionals.

It had all happened too fast. One second the backboard carrying Matt to safety had been making good progress across the ladder, the second afterwards everything was shaking and in danger of falling apart.

Severide had stopped pulling immediately, even before the warning shout from Herrmann, and looked around in despair. "We need to do something!"

Like all Search and Rescue helicopters, there was a medical bag under the back seat. Without a word, Dawson pulled it out and started combing through its contents, a prayer under her breath.

As soon as Dawson found the pre-filled syringe she had been hoping would be amongst the medical supplies on board, she was moving to Severide's side.

She could see his eyes darting around, quickly taking note of the people on the helicopter and trying to gauge who would be the safest and quickest to deliver the anti-convulsing meds to Matt. Beyond him, they all could see the rapidly deteriorating situation on the ladder, with Herrmann risking his life as he acted as a human safety net for the convulsing lieutenant. They were running out of time.

"Let me," she begged. Dawson knew she was the best bet, if nothing else because she was the smallest and lightest person around. She also knew that she was the last person Severide should allow to do something that risky.

He looked between her and the two men on the ladder. The hook ladder, sturdy as was built, was already in a precarious situation because of its positioning and the surrounding winds. To add the weight of a third man to it would be risking sending the whole thing down.

"Please," Gabby insisted.

Severide gave her a small nod, his look of defeat and resignation hidden from view as he looked down to unclasp his own security line and secure it to Dawson's straps. "Go!"

His decision had saved Casey and Herrmann's lives, there was no doubt about it, but they were all well aware of how much luck had been involved in the process.

The sight of a white coat approaching grabbed everyone's attention back to the present.

Gabriela was in the man's face as soon as he stopped, her hands shoved deep inside her pockets to stop herself from grabbing the doctor's coat and shake some answers out of him. "How is he?"

The doctor took a deep breath before meeting her eyes, making Dawson's heart plunge to her feet. It wouldn't be good news.

"Matt is stable for now," he begun, his words carefully measured. "The initial MRI detected a minor bleeding in the same area of the previous injury, so we'll be monitoring that closely. Right now, however, our major concern is the risk of second impact syndrome."

Dawson blinked away the tears in her eyes, a look of confusion in her face. Even though she had already heard that term tossed around before, she wasn't exactly sure what that meant for Matt. She opened her mouth to ask, but words seemed to fail her as her throat constricted from worry.

"What does that mean?" Severide said, lending his voice to her doubts. "Is he going to okay?"

"A second brain injury, even a mild one, this close to the previous one can provoke a series of intracranial reactions that can cause a rapid and irreversible swelling of the brain tissue," the doctor explained, his grim tone making it easy to guess what the outcome would be if that were to happen. "We have placed Matt in an induced coma and placed him in mild hypothermia in hopes to better preserve his central nervous system function. Also, a subdural screw was placed in his skull, to monitor Matt's intracranial pressure more closely and, hopefully, give us a timely warning if his condition starts turning for the worse."

Dawson gasped, feeling like there wasn't enough air in the room to fill her starving lungs. Somewhere distantly, she could feel a hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her to a chair.

This... this was so much worse than what she'd imagined. Somehow, she had prepared herself to hear that everything was going to be either okay or that Matt had died. The not knowing, the waiting to find out if he was going to make it or not was more than what she could deal at the moment.

For a second, Gabriela felt an intense and desperate need to have Shay by her side, lending her strength and support.

Someone knelt in front of her and Dawson looked up. Severide's blue eyes seemed to be as wet as hers. "Matt's a tough son of a bitch," he said, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "He's gonna pull through, you'll see."

Gabriela took a deep breath, trying to push down her despair and sense of pending doom to manageable dimensions. "Can I see him?" she asked, her eyes lifting to meet the doctor's gaze. "Please?"

The man seemed reluctant to say yes, his eyes searching the crowd that had gathered around him to hear the news. "One person only," he said very clearly, leaving no room for arguments. "And just for a couple of minutes, okay?"

-o-

Entering the Neuro Trauma ICU was like walking into Sleeping Beauty's kingdom. There were two beds in each room, six rooms in a row, all of them kept in semi-darkness. Gabriela walked a few steps behind Matt's doctor, her attention lost on the number of people in the various beds, a sick game of speculation over which were better and which were worse than Matt taking hold of her.

"Five minutes," the doctor, paused at the door of the fourth room, reminded her. "We need to take him down for a new MRI afterwards."

Dawson nodded absent-minded, her attention already on the only occupied bed in that particular room. Her hand flew to her mouth to stop a scream from escaping as she caught sight of Matt.

Unlike the time before, Matt was lying on his back. His hair had been shaved on the left side of his head, from where a thin tube came out to connect him to a monitor placed by his side.

Blue pads of cooling liquid circled his chest and both tights, making it look like he was wearing an odd neoprene suit and was about ready to jump into the ocean.

And those were just the things that Dawson was unfamiliar with. On top of that, there were those that she was already expecting, like the assortment of IV lines, the EKG leads on his chest, the EEG leads on his head, the oropharyngeal Guedel tube in his mouth and the Foley cath to relieve his bladder.

She looked at the monitors, hoping that they would tell that Matt was okay, that he was just asleep and that all she had to do was wake him up and take him home.

The monitors, however, told a different story. His blood pressure and heart rate were too low, his O2 saturation was barely above normal and his EEG looked too convoluted for someone looking so peaceful.

No, peaceful was not the right word. Matt looked… fragile, like any sudden movement would shatter the illusion and make him disappear.

Gabriela placed her hand over his forearm. The skin was cold to the touch, colder than what she was expecting despite what the doctor had told her. It was ice-cold, deadly cold and all she wanted to do was find a warm blanket, tuck it around Matt's body and make all of this go away.

"I'm right here, baby," she whispered in his ear before kissing Matt's cheek. Gabby closed her eyes, wishing that the skin touching hers was warm instead of cold, wishing that this was truly a Sleeping Beauty fairy tale and that a kiss was all it took to wake him up. "I love you."

The alarm bell was not the outcome that Dawson had been wishing for. She barely had time to look up at the monitors, trying to see what was wrong, before she was pushed out of the way by the medical staff.

"You need to leave," a woman in blue scrubs told her. "Now!"

"Wait! No!" Dawson protested, fighting the hands that kept pushing her away from Matt.

The last thing she saw before the doors closed in on her was Matt, lost and fragile, disappearing under the flood of people in a variety of scrubs and white coats, like a piece of meat being devoured by fire ants.

-o-

Time stood still, frozen and stretching to the infinite in the same movement of the clock.

For everyone else, it had been a week since the night of the fire. For those waiting for Matt to wake up, an eternity had gone by.

The worse had passed, the doctors kept telling anyone who asked. After the scare in the ICU room, when Matt's heart rate had descendent to dangerously few beats per minute and they had been forced to place him on a temporary external pacemaker, he had stabilized. And time stood still.

Dawson had haunted the hospital halls for two days straight, refusing to leave Matt alone. By the end of day two, Shay was ready to simply drug her and take her home against her will. Matt's doctor's threat that Dawson would not be allowed inside the ICU until she showered and rested had been more effective.

It had been the hardest thing Gabriela had ever done, walking away knowing that at any second, Matt could take his last breath and she would not be there.

The chief had given her some time off, knowing that coming back to work in her current state of mind would be a danger to herself and any victim she tried to help. She almost wished he had made her go to work. Time passed too slow when all she had to do was wait.

A routine had been establish -and God! she had been there long enough to actually have routines!- in which Shay and Severide would pick her up in the morning, force some breakfast into her and drive her to the hospital. During the day, the members of 51 took shifts, both at work and watching over their fallen brother at the hospital.

At the end of the day, Severide and Shay would return and drag her away to sleep at either their place or her brother's, because she was under strict orders from her friends to not go home alone and mope.

Whenever they were working, someone else from the firehouse would take their turn, making sure that Dawson was never alone.

At some level, she appreciated the gesture and was touched by how much everyone loved Matt and was willing to be there for her. On another, however... it felt like they were treating her like one of those firefighters' widows, closing ranks on her and flooding her with their support.

It made Dawson's stomach turn every time she thought of that.

-o-

-o- Home -o-

There were fingers dancing across the fine hairs on his forearm all the way to the tip of his fingers, a feather like touch that was a pleasant mixture of ticklish and arousing.

"Stop that," Matt whispered with a barely contained smile. His eyes were closed, but he could imagine in perfect clarity the devilish look on Gaby's face.

The touch moved from his arm to the left side of his face, a gentle caress tracing the lines of his eyebrow and cheek. "Stop it," he warned gently, knowing that if she went on, he wouldn't be able to stop himself any longer.

The touch moved alongside his neck, tracing the muscle, moving over his collarbone. "Stop," he said again, the word so lacking in sincerity that he might as well be begging her for more.

He wanted to make her pay, to tease her in the same way she was teasing him, cover her skin with small tokens of his love. However, when he tried to move his arm to take her hand, Matt realized he couldn't. He wanted to move his hand, he needed to move his hand, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing happened.

"It's okay now, babe," Gaby told him, her voice gentle and understanding. "Just open your eyes for me, will you?"

Her voice sounded like she was speaking all the way from the bottom of a well, which made no sense because he knew she was lying right next to him. Matt ignored her for the moment. He had more pressing matters than opening his eyes; he needed to deal with a rebellious limb that refused to obey him.

Matt pushed harder. It was the same feeling as if he had accidentally fallen asleep on his arm during the night and woke up unable to either feel it or move it in the morning. He kept waiting for the pins and needles sensation to arrive, signaling that circulation had been restored, but nothing seemed to be happening.

Matt felt his frustration building up. Why wouldn't his body obey him?

"It's okay, babe," Gaby's voice came again. She sounded closer now, like the well she was being kept in wasn't as deep this time around. "Just take your time... I'll be here, waiting for you."

He knew she was trying to sound brave and supportive, but Matt couldn't help but thinking that she sounded deeply... sad.

Had he done something to upset her? Maybe he shouldn't've ignored her when she'd asked him to open his eyes. It was, after all, such a simple request that he felt like a complete dick for not granting her at least that.

Resolute to correct that wrong, Matt took his focus away from his rebellious limbs and turn it to his eyes instead.

Matt almost screamed in anger and frustration when he realized that his eyes weren't obeying him either.

With his attention focused on what was wrong with his eyes, the tingling in his limbs took Matt by surprise. It started like it always did, small pinpricks of sharp needles racing through his nerves, waking muscle that had fallen asleep.

Only, this time, it was like nothing he had ever felt before. It was like being dipped in acid, like burning alive.

Matt screamed.

-o-

They had stopped the induced coma two hours ago and Dawson was still waiting for Matt to wake up. When the doctor had told her the news that Matt's latest MRI was all but clean and that they were going to allow him to wake up on his own, she had hugged the man in joy.

Now, she wasn't so sure that what she had heard was good news after all. What if he never woke up? What if he woke up and wasn't the same person she knew before?

After two weeks of sitting by his side, Gabriela had no more nails to bite but the urge was still there.

Matt looked better, she kept telling herself, so he must be better.

There was a cut on the left side of Matt's forehead, almost completely healed now, all that was left of the head injury he'd suffered. It seemed odd that such a small thing could cause this much damage, could affect their lives so deeply.

Matt's right hand was set on top of a pillow, bandaged so heavily that only the tips of his fingers could be seen. The wound caused by the elevator's cable had been so deep that, as soon as he'd been stable enough, Matt's doctors had to surgically repair the damage done to his tendons.

Gabriela touched the exposed fingers. It had been something so completely insane to do and yet so brave and so utterly Matt that she could not help but admire him. He could've lost that hand and, until he woke up and proper tests could be done, there was still a chance of movement or sensibility loss, something that Gabriela was sure Matt had been more than aware when he had grabbed that cable. But, at the same time, if he hadn't been willing to risk that, he and Andrew would've surely died.

Her fingers walked across the skin of his exposed arms, relinquishing the fact that he was no longer cold to touch. The cooling pads had been removed earlier that day, same as the skull bolt to monitor his intracranial pressure.

"It's okay now, babe," she whispered in his ear, same as she had been doing every day. "Just open your eyes for me, will you?"

A small movement of Matt's eyebrows made Dawson stop breathing. She moved closer, hoping, wishing, demanding fate to return Matt to her.

When minutes passed and nothing happened, Gabriela sat back. Nothing but a involuntary movement. "It's okay, babe," she said, her fingers once again caressing Matt's forearm. "Just take your time... I'll be here, waiting for you."

She wasn't there when Matt woke up screaming his lungs out.

Staring at her lover's impassive face, searching for the slightest clue that he might wake up, had all become too much and Gabriela had walked away to get some air for a couple of minutes. She was coming back to his room, fresh cup of coffee in her hands, when she heard him screaming.

The coffee was quickly forgotten, hot liquid splashing over white tiles as she broke in to a run.

Matt was sitting up straight in his bed when she arrived at the room. He had stopped screaming, a throat that hadn't been used in a while giving up easily after such strain. There was a wild look to his eyes that made Gabriela stop in her tracks.

The next couple of seconds were going to define her whole life, she suddenly realized. If Matt's brain had somewhat been damaged by what happened and he was no longer able to connect with her, or even remember her, there would be nothing she could do but to step back and offer him whatever support he allowed her to give.

Tears welled up in her eyes as Gaby shortened the distance between them, ignoring the medical staff that tried to caution her and stop her from getting too close before they could assess Matt's mental state.

However, when his blue eyes finally landed on her, Gaby knew that they were going to be okay. She could see recognition and, most of all, she could see the love he felt for her in such a naked way that it felt intrusive to have so many strangers around them in that moment.

"Hey, babe," she said, taking his unbandaged hand in hers. "I've been waiting for you."

-o-

Andrew's life had completely changed after what had happened on that night. Well, it had changed a bit.

He still worked for the same company and he still hadn't signed up at the gym like he had promised himself and Tuesday was still pizza night at Alfredo's, but he was more... alert to life now.

He guessed that was unavoidable after a near death experience like the one he'd had.

Mostly, Andrew had stopped waiting for tomorrow to do what he felt like doing today. For one, he had booked that trip to New Zealand that he had been talking about for years but had never actually consider for real.

And because he was still a lucky guy, he had booked it for two.

There was a girl who worked reception on the morning shift that he had wanted to invite for a drink for months now. After she had said yes with a warm smile on her lips, Andrew knew he wouldn't be making that trip alone.

The ring case was burning a hole in his pocket. Not his ring, of course, because he believed in luck but buying a wedding ring after inviting a girl for one date was a bit too much, but a special ring nevertheless.

Andrew had been discharged the day after being admitted at the hospital. Before going home, he had stopped by the Neuro-Trauma ICU to ask how Matt was doing and give the wedding ring he had recovered to someone.

The only person he could recognize in the group in the ICU waiting area was the pretty Hispanic woman that had been rescued with them, Matt's 'Gaby'. For a moment, Andrew had felt tempted to just give her the ring case and be done with it.

The events on that elevator, however, had been still too fresh in his memory and Andrew felt that he couldn't do such an insensitive thing to the guy who had saved his life.

So, Andrew had walked away that day, ring in his pocket and a solemn promise to himself that he would be back when Matt was better to give him the thing personally.

It had taken over two weeks for that to happen. A few times, as he phoned the hospital to know how Casey was doing, Andrew feared that he would never get his chance to return the ring.

When they finally told him that the firefighter was awake and recovering, Andrew had wasted no time, grabbed his coat and told his boss that he would be back in a couple of hours.

Gaby was sitting next to Matt when he arrived at the room the man had been transferred to after leaving the ICU. There were flowers everywhere and even a Teddy bear with a bandage around his head.

Matt's girlfriend looked up as he knocked softly on the door, a look of confusion on her face.

"Andrew," he volunteered. "From the fire."

For a moment, as he saw her making the connection in her head, Andrew feared that Gaby would kick him out. After all, he had acted like a complete moron during the rescue, mistaking Matt's head injury for insanity.

The memories never failed to fill him with shame and if she did kick him out, Andrew knew he would not blame her at all.

Gaby smiled warmly at him, getting up from her chair to shake his hand. "So glad to see you doing okay!" she said, genuinely pleased.

"Errr... thank you," Andrew stuttered, surprised by the warm welcome. Either she had a really short memory or her ability to forgive and forget was nothing short of amazing. "About what happened at the fire..."

"No worries," Gaby cut him off, the smile never wavering from her face. "I've been working the job long enough to know that not everyone reacts the same to a stressful situation."

"Except for the part where I ranted out like a loon about Matt confusing me for some other guy," Andrew couldn't help put point out. In his nightmares, he could still see Matt pucking his guts out, calling him Andy. In his nightmares, Andrew was the one holding on to that cable and he would let Matt fall because he didn't want to hold on to someone crazy. "I'm really sorry I didn't realized he was injured. The guy saved my life, and all I did was yell at him."

"Andrew, what is it you do for a living?"

Andrew gave her a frown, confused by the question. "I work in accounting... why?"

"So, no previous medical training, no health training whatsoever?"

He shook his head, a smile spreading to his lips as he got where she was getting at.

Gaby grabbed his shoulder, her touch solid despite her petit size. "No matter what you feel now, I think you handled yourself pretty damn well back there."

Even though he hardly knew that woman, Andrew felt his sense of pride inflate at her words. He sensed that it was truly a high praise, coming from someone who did what she did for a living.

It also made him happy that he had kept safe the ring that was meant for her. "How is Matt doing?" he asked, turning the conversation back to the reason of his visit.

He could barely remember the man's features, the whole incident almost a blur in his mind, but the evidences of what had happened and what Matt had done to save them both were still plain to see.

There was small bald patch on the left side of the man's head, a round puncture wound right in the middle. The areas where Matt had hit his head was bruised a dark shade of purple, not unlike the one Andrew also had.

Matt's right hand was bandaged, the fingers splintered so they wouldn't touch the wound at the center. Andrew could recall vividly the blood that had been dripping down the lieutenant's arm as he held both of them away from the fire; he could only imagine the gash that had left behind.

"He's doing okay, so far..." Gaby told him, the smile faltering from her face for the first time. "They releasing him tomorrow, actually."

Andrew knew it wasn't his place to pry, but he had read some things about head injuries after what had happened, both because of Matt and himself, and couldn't help but asking for details. "Any repercussions? Memory loss?"

Dawson shook her head. "He says he's fine, but-" she stopped herself, looking at Andrew and seemingly realizing that she was talking to a stranger. "We've been down this road before, that's all. I know everything will be fine."

Andrew looked back at the sleeping man, trying to decide what to do. It wasn't as if he could just ask for Gaby to leave so that he could give Matt the lost ring. And he couldn't certainly give it to him with her standing right next to them because that would defeat the whole purpose of his visit.

Just as he was about to give up and had decided to come back the next day or find Matt's address to mail the thing, Dawson's phone rang.

"Gotta take this," she said, walking out. "Be right back!"

Andrew grabbed his chance like a drowning man. "Hey, man, you awake?" he said, shaking Matt's shoulder.

Bleary blue eyes slowly emerged from behind Matt's eyelids. "Wha... who?"

"Look, I don't have much time," Andrew said, choosing to ignore Matt's lack of recognition. "Remember the ring? The one you were carrying in your pocket the night of the fire?"

Slowly, Andrew could see the first signs of recollection in the other man's expression. "You drop it when you lost consciousness and I picked it up for safe keeping," he said, quickly trusting the closed box into Matt's unbandaged hand and closing the man's fingers around it. "Don't let it go this time!"

When he looked back at Matt's face, there was water pooling in his eyes.

Andrew threw a quick look at the door to make sure Gaby was still on the phone. If she returned to see how upset Matt was, Andrew was a dead man. "No, no, no... come on, man, don't do that to me," Andrew pleaded, resisting the urge to wipe the tears from the man's face.

"I thought I'd lost it," Matt said, his voice raspy and not even close to the strength Andrew remembered from before. "Hell, I thought I had imagined half of it," he added with a joyless laugh.

"You saved my life," Andrew blurted out. It was an odd thing to say, a short string of words that not many people got the chance to utter. And yet, it felt nice to acknowledge the fact to the man who had actually given Andrew a chance to keep on breathing. "Thank you, somehow, feels like not enough."

"I thought you were someone else," Matt confessed, lowering his eyes to stare at the white box in his hand. "Someone I couldn't save."

"You saved me, even before you started confusing me with Andy," Andrew said, no hint of disapproval in his voice. "I'm sorry you weren't able to save him, but I sure am glad you were in that elevator with me."

Matt gave another chuckle. "Yeah, you're a regular lucky guy."

"Real lucky bastard, that's what my friends call me," Andrew supplied with a smile. "After everything, I'm very inclined to agree with them."

"Thank you," Matt said, his expression turning serious once more as he held up the ring box. "Andrew."

"My pleasure," Andrew said, picking up his jacket to leave. "Just... pick somewhere safer to pop the question next time, will you?"

"What question?" Gaby asked, walking back into the room.

Andrew's eyes widened in alarm. "Err... the... we... I... bye!"

-o-

Dawson stepped aside, watching as the other man made a quick exit without meeting her eyes. "Hey, babe... what was he talking about?"

Matt grabbed her hand in his, the skin once again warm to the touch, his thumb gently caressing her palm.

"Ask me again when we get home," he said mysteriously.

Home, coming from his lips, had never tasted sweeter.

The end