farewell, my dreaming tree.
its funny how somethings never change. and others change right before your eyes.
of course, the things that stay constant are things that should change. like someones attitude, or ability to be late to every occasion.
and then the things that change before youve even had a chance to savor then, are things worth holding on to. meeting someone new, and finding out they are moving in two weeks. going through highschool oblivious to the change that lies ahead at graduation and the responsibility that comes along with freshman status. i miss that lack of clearity, as much as i once hated it, sitting in seventh period at chiles highschool, sweaping ms. cohens nasty-ass, art room floor.
almost a year ago, i was an absolutely young and naive child. and i still am, to some degree. a year from today, ill be sitting here writing about how i was naive today. its all relative.
but honestly-- a year ago this month, i was sitting in my house on congressional drive, with my mother banging on my bedroom door with my fresh, and perfectly folded laundry. how obnoxious that was? little did i know that i would fondly look back on those days. packing for new york city with my starry eyes gazed at the picture of me in the city when i literally was a child, i had visions of my life in the city of my dreams. boy was i confused. as amazing as my life is here, its certainly been more of a challenge than i had anticipated to live in a city like this. i just have to remind myself of why i am here, and of the people who made it possible for me. i am incredibly grateful, even on the days when i want more than anything to move back to florida. because it would be easier that way, i suppose. but who says easier is better? i know i wouldnt be happy there. i know that having my mother do my laundry wouldnt be an even trade for going. i am staying.
i suppose its just nice to be able to ramble about the days and months past.
alas, i have overcome the "freahman 15," endured a harsh winter, socialized with people i have grown to love, and people i will continue to hate. and in the end, i have to remind myself that i wouldnt have it any other way.
things are slowly falling into place.
they say it takes ten years of living in new york city to actually be able to call yourself a "new yorker." i am a long way away from that title, but everyday that goes by gets me one step closer to a title i will one day wear proudly.
i started this entry off somewhat lonesome, and nostalgic. ironically, i am ending it feeling a sence of optimism and hope.
i guess a lot really does change.
the "me" of last summer would have gone on and on focusing on the negative, ending the entry in sorrow.
i guess, in the end, i know what i have to do.
i have to change my outlet of thought and creativity. i have to end what i once called my "dreaming tree," a place i used to come to boast, vent, bash and celebrate. i have to move on, and allow myself to truely grow up, in my own way.
my dreaming tree is being cut down, and made into somemore more beautiful and great.
its branches are matured and its leaves green.
my dreaming tree has overcome the harsh change of seasons, and natural disasters.
thank you for being there, my dreaming tree.
my days of swinging amongst your branches are over, but ill always have the memories i have created along the way.
of course, the things that stay constant are things that should change. like someones attitude, or ability to be late to every occasion.
and then the things that change before youve even had a chance to savor then, are things worth holding on to. meeting someone new, and finding out they are moving in two weeks. going through highschool oblivious to the change that lies ahead at graduation and the responsibility that comes along with freshman status. i miss that lack of clearity, as much as i once hated it, sitting in seventh period at chiles highschool, sweaping ms. cohens nasty-ass, art room floor.
almost a year ago, i was an absolutely young and naive child. and i still am, to some degree. a year from today, ill be sitting here writing about how i was naive today. its all relative.
but honestly-- a year ago this month, i was sitting in my house on congressional drive, with my mother banging on my bedroom door with my fresh, and perfectly folded laundry. how obnoxious that was? little did i know that i would fondly look back on those days. packing for new york city with my starry eyes gazed at the picture of me in the city when i literally was a child, i had visions of my life in the city of my dreams. boy was i confused. as amazing as my life is here, its certainly been more of a challenge than i had anticipated to live in a city like this. i just have to remind myself of why i am here, and of the people who made it possible for me. i am incredibly grateful, even on the days when i want more than anything to move back to florida. because it would be easier that way, i suppose. but who says easier is better? i know i wouldnt be happy there. i know that having my mother do my laundry wouldnt be an even trade for going. i am staying.
i suppose its just nice to be able to ramble about the days and months past.
alas, i have overcome the "freahman 15," endured a harsh winter, socialized with people i have grown to love, and people i will continue to hate. and in the end, i have to remind myself that i wouldnt have it any other way.
things are slowly falling into place.
they say it takes ten years of living in new york city to actually be able to call yourself a "new yorker." i am a long way away from that title, but everyday that goes by gets me one step closer to a title i will one day wear proudly.
i started this entry off somewhat lonesome, and nostalgic. ironically, i am ending it feeling a sence of optimism and hope.
i guess a lot really does change.
the "me" of last summer would have gone on and on focusing on the negative, ending the entry in sorrow.
i guess, in the end, i know what i have to do.
i have to change my outlet of thought and creativity. i have to end what i once called my "dreaming tree," a place i used to come to boast, vent, bash and celebrate. i have to move on, and allow myself to truely grow up, in my own way.
my dreaming tree is being cut down, and made into somemore more beautiful and great.
its branches are matured and its leaves green.
my dreaming tree has overcome the harsh change of seasons, and natural disasters.
thank you for being there, my dreaming tree.
my days of swinging amongst your branches are over, but ill always have the memories i have created along the way.