Drabble: "Jossed!" [Sibyl Trelawney, Parvati, Lavender, gen, PG]
Title: Jossed!
Author: sporkyadrasteia
Rating: PG
For Sibyl Trelawney, it had been another marvelous day shopping in the outdoor markets for sandal-scented candles, multicolored stemware, and bamboo curtains. The was the life, after all, and Sibyl, armed with a wad of Muggle currency, was prepared to succumb to a quality early-morning haggling spree.
Her bliss quickly evaporated when she was attacked by two frantic blurs.
"Oh, Professor Trelawney, is that you?"
"-you have no idea how relieved we are to see you-"
"-oh, yes. It's been downright horrible new, didja hear?"
"-ghastly... we've had no idea what to do-"
"-they've obviously made a mistake." The two young women, probably in their mid-twenties, look up at her expectantly.
Sibyl blinked for two seconds. "Parvati? Lavender?"
Lavender Brown pouts. "Oh, Professor, did you hear about the news? Parvati's mother's cousin's husband's uncle told us that the Muggles decided that Pluto is no longer a planet!"
"That changes everything, Professor!" squealed Parvati Patil.
"Star charts-"
"-crystal ball gazing-"
"-tea leaves-"
"-bird entrails-"
"-and fire omens."
Parvati turned to Lavender. "How would it affect fire omens?"
"The movement of the celestial object affect everything, Parvati. What, are you forgetting everything after our O.W.L.'s year?"
"Oooh. Right." Parvati nodded.
"So, Professor, what shall we do now?" Lavender tugged on Sibyl's gauzy sleeve.
Sibyl nearly shook her head in shame, but, instead, shuddered voluntarily and let her head hang limply.
She hadn't left her eccentric, attic existence at Hogwarts for nothing.
Staring determinedly at a speck of dust on Parvati's jumper, she began in the most raspy voice she could muster.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER. DIVINATION WILL GO ON."
She shook herself, blinked, and asked, "Oh, where was I?"
Parvati and Lavender grinned and hugged her tightly. "Thank you every so much, Professor."
"Oh, no problem, my dears," chuckled Sibyl, trying to look politely confused.
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A/N: Bless Trelawney and her cognitive dissonance! She won't let no stupid Muggle science types come and screw up her profession (or her star pupils, as the case may be).
And the moral of the story is: New canon tends to fuck things up. Deal with it. And, no, you are not special.
Author: sporkyadrasteia
Rating: PG
For Sibyl Trelawney, it had been another marvelous day shopping in the outdoor markets for sandal-scented candles, multicolored stemware, and bamboo curtains. The was the life, after all, and Sibyl, armed with a wad of Muggle currency, was prepared to succumb to a quality early-morning haggling spree.
Her bliss quickly evaporated when she was attacked by two frantic blurs.
"Oh, Professor Trelawney, is that you?"
"-you have no idea how relieved we are to see you-"
"-oh, yes. It's been downright horrible new, didja hear?"
"-ghastly... we've had no idea what to do-"
"-they've obviously made a mistake." The two young women, probably in their mid-twenties, look up at her expectantly.
Sibyl blinked for two seconds. "Parvati? Lavender?"
Lavender Brown pouts. "Oh, Professor, did you hear about the news? Parvati's mother's cousin's husband's uncle told us that the Muggles decided that Pluto is no longer a planet!"
"That changes everything, Professor!" squealed Parvati Patil.
"Star charts-"
"-crystal ball gazing-"
"-tea leaves-"
"-bird entrails-"
"-and fire omens."
Parvati turned to Lavender. "How would it affect fire omens?"
"The movement of the celestial object affect everything, Parvati. What, are you forgetting everything after our O.W.L.'s year?"
"Oooh. Right." Parvati nodded.
"So, Professor, what shall we do now?" Lavender tugged on Sibyl's gauzy sleeve.
Sibyl nearly shook her head in shame, but, instead, shuddered voluntarily and let her head hang limply.
She hadn't left her eccentric, attic existence at Hogwarts for nothing.
Staring determinedly at a speck of dust on Parvati's jumper, she began in the most raspy voice she could muster.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER. DIVINATION WILL GO ON."
She shook herself, blinked, and asked, "Oh, where was I?"
Parvati and Lavender grinned and hugged her tightly. "Thank you every so much, Professor."
"Oh, no problem, my dears," chuckled Sibyl, trying to look politely confused.
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A/N: Bless Trelawney and her cognitive dissonance! She won't let no stupid Muggle science types come and screw up her profession (or her star pupils, as the case may be).
And the moral of the story is: New canon tends to fuck things up. Deal with it. And, no, you are not special.