Comfort...

[adrasteia6]

I lay in bed. Thinking. Listening to music. Just...being. It was like every other night after I talked to my darling... me just laying there.. both happy and lonely at the same time. Wanting comfort...wanting company...wanting... something. I saw the images of days long since past come into my mind...memories both good and..well mostly bad. It's always so cold in my room, jeez. My heart was sinking and.. I felt so guilty about letting sadness creep into me after talking to my darling. I felt so... alone... I whimpered and closed my eyes to sleep...accepting the fact that alone I'll have to be for a long time. Then I felt embrace me... her ... spirit I guess... surrounding me, and I couldn't help but smile and be happy. "Hello Sister", she said and it was like how it was before... we were cool.. she didn't hurt me and I didn't hate her. We were just there. Hugging, talking and content in sharing a body. The only time I ever slept better than last night was when my darling and I had our first serious sappy Talk... and that was so long ago.

Now I feel a little ashamed for what I did...just..letting her in like that. I know she isn't "real" as in another physical being... but she is very "real" to me. The pain she caused was real, and the fact that we are linked forever is extremely real. I can never be rid of her... and although my darling makes me so happy...and he wouldn't be that glad to know this...but.. no one compares to my sister. No one.

I just needed some company...