Screaming Silently.. (a fictional story)
Squeezing the last few breaths out of empty lung cavities exposed to the light of day.. Smoke swirls, calling your name, pulling you in like a moth to a flame..
Your mind, a wasteland of thought too precious to feed.. The only thing crossing your mind is how much you miss the caress of warm cloth wrapped around your naked skin when hearing his voice calling you out of the dark...
Scratching nails along the ivory of keys that never quite hit the right note... Fragile little sounds come from the back of it like rats fleeing from a plague..
Your voice too damaged to hear yourself harmonize with the mis-tuned chords you try to bash out of a dead piano.. No addiction could make this sound pretty to anyone.. The tone deaf scream in horror at the monstrosity..
You want, you need, you'd do anything for new things, people to envy, intelligent conversation.. You'd do anything to hear his voice again.. To feel him form against you under satin sheets on a cold night..
The desire to scratch metal against flesh. Into flesh... A desire so strong, angels look down at you and scream.. Angel kisses maddening like port wine laced with mercury..
He screams your name, but you cant hear him beneath a veil of insanity so thick you could call it a wall.. A wall too high for anyone to climb.. A wall too strong, that you built to keep him out..
No matter how much the desire to have him near strikes you, you can't let him in, you cannot allow him to see.. You are not worthy of this.. You are nothing in comparison to his beauty..
You spill over the sides of a porcelain bath, running in between the grout on a tile floor that no longer looks like tile.. An image in your mind, his face.. his beautiful face.. it taunts you like classmates throwing rocks.
Submerged under a clear liquid.. hands holding you down that are not your own.. The angels are trying to kill you.. the angels want you to stop...
.. The angels aren't anyone you'd want to pray to.. They hold you away from him, screaming, bleeding, dying slowly.. You beg for them to stop.. You beg to be let go..
Sounds swirl around you.. the beeping and ticking of machines. Your eyes open up to a white face looking down with shock, and horror.. This girl should not have survived that amount of death.. The room swirls around you, and the last thing you hear before you pass out is him... screaming..
You know he is near, you know he wants to see you..
" .. not like this, God ... not like this ... "
If only you could disappear.. This is what you were trying to hide from him, and failed..
Strangers are forcing you to live, and the angels pull harder, your limbs feel as though they could fall off, and you could care less.. Just one more moment of happiness with him.. one more overwhelming moment of his kisses, his love, exploding into the air like rockets.. one more moment with him.. loving you...
JSe