From Soaring in the Sky to Walking Along the Ground
From the time I was five, until after I turned 15, I was an Eagle. I proudly wore the purple and the white. Every year, from kindergarten on, I got the yearbook, keeping the memories that only grew as I did. I cheered on the soccer, basketball and baseball teams each year, hoping to see the Eagles boys and Eagles girls lead our division. I marched with the band, first as a clarinetist, then with the color guard. All of my friends were Eagles. Everyone I knew was an Eagle. I was proud to be an Eagle, and I didn't think that would ever change.
Then, when I was 15, I found that my Eagle days were behind me. Instead, I was an Indian. No longer were purple and white the colors that surrounded me, those proud, noble colors that adorned my jacket, my yearbooks, my daily life. Alternatively, I was thrust into a world of green and white. A world that was, in so many ways, foreign to me. Gone were the wide range of ages, from children to those ready for adulthood. Instead, everyone was within a few years of my own age. I had no hope of knowing everyone. I was honestly worried that I would end up knowing no one.
Being an Indian was so different from being an Eagle. As an Eagle, we moved through one building, from age five until age 18. We were always so excited to get to the top floor, because it meant we were growing up. As an Indian, there were no floors. There was no single building. Instead, buildings spread wide, green areas in between, and I had no idea what each one housed. Being an Eagle meant that I knew that path I'd take. Regents classes, one following another, until I finally left with those words printed on that ever important piece of paper. There was no variety, no possibilities for anything different. This was my path. But as an Indian, there were so many choices. I could explore so much more. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. Being an Eagle meant I was able to shine, both academically and vocally. I knew that top grades would be mine, and I could be guaranteed usually a solo a year. Becoming an Indian, I had no idea where I would fit in. From now on, I would no longer be one of 30 but one of four hundred. Where would I fit there? How could I shine? I had no idea. Would this be the best move for me, moving from soaring like an Eagle to fighting like an Indian? I was scared, but I had to find out.
Coming down from the sky was the best move I could have made. No longer was my head in the clouds with dreams that probably wouldn't come true. Instead, I had to keep my feet on the ground, facing reality. I learned that not everything would be easy. Sometimes, I had to push myself to get what I wanted. I learned that my mistakes could be something in my past rather than something that defined my future. I was able to learn that there was so much more to me than I'd ever imagined, that I wasn't quite the outcast I thought I would be. I became someone who could take chances, maybe learn a thing or two along the way. I learned that I didn't need to be the best to shine. And that the world was so much larger than I'd ever imagined. I learned that love could both be the most amazing thing in the world, as well as the most heartbreaking. And that neither the height of passion or the death of despair would kill me, even when I thought it would.
Being an Eagle started shaping me into the person I would be, giving me the foundation of my future. But being an Indian sharped the lines, built the walls and helped me figure out what I wanted that future to be.
Christmas as an Eagle
A warm fall day as an Indian
This post is for week 2 of LJ Idol. We were given four topics to choose from, and I chose to talk about Indians.
Then, when I was 15, I found that my Eagle days were behind me. Instead, I was an Indian. No longer were purple and white the colors that surrounded me, those proud, noble colors that adorned my jacket, my yearbooks, my daily life. Alternatively, I was thrust into a world of green and white. A world that was, in so many ways, foreign to me. Gone were the wide range of ages, from children to those ready for adulthood. Instead, everyone was within a few years of my own age. I had no hope of knowing everyone. I was honestly worried that I would end up knowing no one.
Being an Indian was so different from being an Eagle. As an Eagle, we moved through one building, from age five until age 18. We were always so excited to get to the top floor, because it meant we were growing up. As an Indian, there were no floors. There was no single building. Instead, buildings spread wide, green areas in between, and I had no idea what each one housed. Being an Eagle meant that I knew that path I'd take. Regents classes, one following another, until I finally left with those words printed on that ever important piece of paper. There was no variety, no possibilities for anything different. This was my path. But as an Indian, there were so many choices. I could explore so much more. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. Being an Eagle meant I was able to shine, both academically and vocally. I knew that top grades would be mine, and I could be guaranteed usually a solo a year. Becoming an Indian, I had no idea where I would fit in. From now on, I would no longer be one of 30 but one of four hundred. Where would I fit there? How could I shine? I had no idea. Would this be the best move for me, moving from soaring like an Eagle to fighting like an Indian? I was scared, but I had to find out.
Coming down from the sky was the best move I could have made. No longer was my head in the clouds with dreams that probably wouldn't come true. Instead, I had to keep my feet on the ground, facing reality. I learned that not everything would be easy. Sometimes, I had to push myself to get what I wanted. I learned that my mistakes could be something in my past rather than something that defined my future. I was able to learn that there was so much more to me than I'd ever imagined, that I wasn't quite the outcast I thought I would be. I became someone who could take chances, maybe learn a thing or two along the way. I learned that I didn't need to be the best to shine. And that the world was so much larger than I'd ever imagined. I learned that love could both be the most amazing thing in the world, as well as the most heartbreaking. And that neither the height of passion or the death of despair would kill me, even when I thought it would.
Being an Eagle started shaping me into the person I would be, giving me the foundation of my future. But being an Indian sharped the lines, built the walls and helped me figure out what I wanted that future to be.
Christmas as an Eagle
A warm fall day as an Indian
This post is for week 2 of LJ Idol. We were given four topics to choose from, and I chose to talk about Indians.