Empathy and Precognition - LJ Idol Season 6, Week 14
I've always been interested in mental powers. One of my favorite books as a kid was A Gift of Magic by Lois Duncan. I wanted to be Nancy, with the ability to read minds, and to know answers to questions before they are asked. I wanted to be special.
When I started role-playing, I always chose psionics. My first character was in a GURPS Supers game. She was just like me, except she had psionic powers. She could send mental messages, see a little of what was coming, read minds. She was what I wanted to be. (And she even got in as much trouble with them as I could imagine myself doing.)
I believe in extrasensory powers. I believe they can exist in all of us. But I don't think I'll ever have great powers. And I know that I have small abilities, ones of very little consequence. When the phone rings, I almost always know who is on the other end. It throws Rich because I'll tell him "It's your Mom," or "It's your sister," or "It's Jen." I don't know how I know. I just know that I do.
And then there's the empathy. Again, it's not strong, but it's strong enough. It's more than just being able to put myself into other people's shoes, though I can do that very easily as well (which has, on occasion, caused me such grief that it's almost paralyze me). But it's helped me when I've needed to be there for someone.
There was a weekend when I first started college when I was sitting in my dorm room. My roommate was out and I was just kicking back. I suddenly got the need to call someone. I tried my folks but they weren't home. I tried my brother, who was in an alcohol addiction facility at the time, but he wasn't able to come to the phone. And then, for some unknown reason, I decided to call my best friend, Trish.
I knew I was where I needed to be as soon as she got on the phone from the tears in her voice. Her mom had passed away earlier that day. She needed a friend, she needed to talk to someone who knew her and her mom. And I was able to be that someone. I think of all the mental powers I could have, empathy is the one I'd want the most.
On the other end of the psionic powers spectrum, the one that I wouldn't want would be precognition. It's strange, because I'm someone who reads the end of books to know how it's going to end. But then, the journey of the written word is as much enjoyment as what comes at the end. That journey is static. No matter how many times I read the book, the journey will always be the same.
Life isn't like that. You can make so many choices and each one will bring you to a different place to make more decisions. (This really isn't the place for me to get into my views on destiny, predestination, and fixed points in time and space, but if you're curious ask and I'll go into it more in another post.) What worries me with seeing the fluidity of a living future is that I don't know what can be changed and what can't. I'm afraid of seeing something that I don't want to happen - like an early death of a loved one, of unhappiness that depresses my children, of catastrophe happening through my world. I don't want to be a Prophecy, making the decisions that end in that unhappiness like Oedipus' father in ordering his babe's death. And I don't want to forgo the lessons that are necessary to make those that I love into the people they need to be.
So let me feel what I need to, but don't let me see it. I think I'll get along just fine.
This week, we have another intersection. My partner is the lovely, talented and wonderful puppetmaker40. Check out her entry on what it's like to live with a writer.
When I started role-playing, I always chose psionics. My first character was in a GURPS Supers game. She was just like me, except she had psionic powers. She could send mental messages, see a little of what was coming, read minds. She was what I wanted to be. (And she even got in as much trouble with them as I could imagine myself doing.)
I believe in extrasensory powers. I believe they can exist in all of us. But I don't think I'll ever have great powers. And I know that I have small abilities, ones of very little consequence. When the phone rings, I almost always know who is on the other end. It throws Rich because I'll tell him "It's your Mom," or "It's your sister," or "It's Jen." I don't know how I know. I just know that I do.
And then there's the empathy. Again, it's not strong, but it's strong enough. It's more than just being able to put myself into other people's shoes, though I can do that very easily as well (which has, on occasion, caused me such grief that it's almost paralyze me). But it's helped me when I've needed to be there for someone.
There was a weekend when I first started college when I was sitting in my dorm room. My roommate was out and I was just kicking back. I suddenly got the need to call someone. I tried my folks but they weren't home. I tried my brother, who was in an alcohol addiction facility at the time, but he wasn't able to come to the phone. And then, for some unknown reason, I decided to call my best friend, Trish.
I knew I was where I needed to be as soon as she got on the phone from the tears in her voice. Her mom had passed away earlier that day. She needed a friend, she needed to talk to someone who knew her and her mom. And I was able to be that someone. I think of all the mental powers I could have, empathy is the one I'd want the most.
On the other end of the psionic powers spectrum, the one that I wouldn't want would be precognition. It's strange, because I'm someone who reads the end of books to know how it's going to end. But then, the journey of the written word is as much enjoyment as what comes at the end. That journey is static. No matter how many times I read the book, the journey will always be the same.
Life isn't like that. You can make so many choices and each one will bring you to a different place to make more decisions. (This really isn't the place for me to get into my views on destiny, predestination, and fixed points in time and space, but if you're curious ask and I'll go into it more in another post.) What worries me with seeing the fluidity of a living future is that I don't know what can be changed and what can't. I'm afraid of seeing something that I don't want to happen - like an early death of a loved one, of unhappiness that depresses my children, of catastrophe happening through my world. I don't want to be a Prophecy, making the decisions that end in that unhappiness like Oedipus' father in ordering his babe's death. And I don't want to forgo the lessons that are necessary to make those that I love into the people they need to be.
So let me feel what I need to, but don't let me see it. I think I'll get along just fine.
This week, we have another intersection. My partner is the lovely, talented and wonderful puppetmaker40. Check out her entry on what it's like to live with a writer.