My love, my fear
My life is complicated, filled with twist and turns and a hell lot of complications.
One incessant fear I always have that should anything happen to me, the person I love will never know how much I love her.
Having gone through multiple times of collapsing on the floor and my heart goes thump a pump a pump x120 beats per minute, I do try to make it a point to tell her
"hey, I love you."
everyday if it is possible or if I would love to every time when her messages come in or before I head to sleep.
Today's episode of Bones reiterated my fear of losing my memory and losing the chance to tell someone I love how much I love them. Losing memory for a day is no joke. Face blindness taught me that and face blindness is just not able to recognise people, I can't imagine how painful it will be not to be able to remember my he(a)rt, my love and of course, plus the rest of my loved ones.
While your fear and you dread the day where this heart will stop beating for you, my fear, my love is one day things happen and I didn't get a chance to say I love you to you and let you know how thankful I am to have you in my life and in my heart. And of course, having to start this life all over again with memories of you and me being erased and I may not have you in my life again.
That, my love is something I never got the guts to tell you right before you.