The Art of 忍
忍 = Endure.
I was reading my dear sister's blog when I came across an entry which was the exact entry talking about the same thing, asking for help from our parents. To be more specific, our mums. I wrote that entry a few weeks ago before attending Bear's Gig which clearly showed that I was on the brink of exploding but thankfully, I did not. Okay, maybe I did but I wasn't really aware of it.
Now after reading that, it reminded me of my lunch with Mel on Thursday which was you know was not really just lunch and talking about school alone. It was pretty much from start to finish the issue between my mum and I. She mentioned about 忍 = Ren. Like how long do I endure all the things or words my mum throw at me? For how much longer can I endure? Is there anything else other than just 忍?
You wanna know my answer?
No, there is nothing else, in my opinion that is, other than just endure and take it as it is or with a big pinch of salt.
For many reasons, I feel NPCC taught me the power of Endurance.
1. I fell from the rock wall exactly 3 years ago and had a huge bruise on my right knee. On top of that, the net of my track pants went right into my skin. I endured the pain when they had to roll up my track pants to see my knee and also when I had to straighten my knees.
2. My RIGHT AND SEVERELY IN PAIN knee hit the bow of the stupid kayak during capsize drill which was the day right after the rock climbing wall accident. I, again, endured the pain and hey, sea water contains salt and it sure stung my netted cuts on my knee.
3. Due to carelessness, there were times which I actually hit the metal camp craft peg on my hand.
I endured all those pain, physical pain to be exact. Emotional and mental pain? Haha, NPCC taught me endurance in those aspects too. :) I wouldn't want to delve any deeper into my NPCC past. Trust me, you wouldn't want to hear them.
I complain and whine a lot especially when it comes to my fights with my mum. But, I only complain when she crosses the line, when she really goes over the limit of my patience, when she really gets on my bloody nerves. Most of the time, I try not to and just 'ren'. For me, I only explode which I try not to so frequently, when I have more than 5 problems be it at home or school or just outside taking over my dear life at the same time. If I have less than 5, I am more likely to just shut up, handle them myself and suppress my negative thoughts or emotions. Easier said, I endure all the pain and shit the problems bring to me, uninvited most of the time. It is hard but I have to. I don't want to end up like Peter Petrelli or Ted Sprague or a dangerous nuclear human bomb capable of taking away lives.
The art of Endurance or 忍 is not easy to master and I am so not on the way to mastering it right now. I am barely reaching the top. It comes with a lot of tests, road blocks, shit holes, roundabouts and seriously, patience and more endurance plus resilience. It requires one to shut off, be unreactive like a gold towards those who try to react them like you know how gold reacts with water, nothing happens. It is easier said than done, I swear. But, it is possible. :) For me, it is the bestest and fastest way to just get over and done with or heal
Honestly, this is how I feel, mothers or even both parents really get on our nerves at times causing us to explode or put us through hell. At times, the place we call home doesn't really feel at all like a home but hell because of their doings. They put us on their very damaging guilt trips which they, sadly, don't realise how damaging they are to us. They say the wrongs words which appear to be 3.8mm bullets piercing through our hearts totally at the wrong time. The bestest and shortest way for us kids, 忍! Endure! What they do to us albeit how seriously damaging those things can really get will not kill us. Do remember things that doesn't kill us make us stronger. They are our parents still, they are the ones who brought us into this insane world. I guess, it is just like a small price to pay for bringing us into this world?
Being a parent is no easy task. I know and I admit may not know it well or understand fully not because I am one but I have seen teens of my age who are now struggling with their lives being parents. Like what a. said to me once,
"Parents have the toughest job in the world. And many times, they do not know any better and so have to learn on the job, and make loads of silly mistakes."
So I guess, we really can't blame them when they do all that to us? I don't know. Heh. All I know, I am just going to endure all that and be the nice person, forgive them and yes, take it as it is with a huge pinch of salt.
So people, 忍!