(no subject)
Last night i went to Poppy Z. Brite's book signing in Burbank at Dark Delacasies (a book store). It was awesome to meet one of my favorite authors. I thought that i would be totally calm about meeting her, but the closer i got to her the more nervous i got, the clammier my hands got. EEp. Even my best friend Erin was getting all twitchy and shes usually as cool as a cucumber. (personally.... i think she was feeding off my wierdo vibes). But anyways... it was powerful meeting her. all i could do was look at her and mumble something incoherent to her... something about her being a great author... i totally balked. i feel like a moron. Oh well. The good that came out of this....? Well besides the fact that i got 2 books signed.... i found an interesting book store that completly caters to my taste in reading material. Absolutely thrilling!!!
Its sad. My relationship with M has completly deteriorated. Theres nothing there anymore... just resentment and anger. I'll always love him because he gave my my gorgeous, loving son. Its not the same and it never will be. Im spending more time with my friends then with him. We havent been out together in forever. i cant even remeber. But i dont even want to spend time with him. He's so rude and spiteful to me. I cant stand him anymore. I cant stand the way i loathe him. It makes me feel so empty and horrible. Everyone deserves to be loved. He deserves to be loved no matter what and i cant give that ti him. I cant give give him what he needs. I am a strong, stubborn, intelligent, independent woman... he needs a door mat. I just want to start a new life with me and Azriel. I just want to be happy and respected and loved.... not taken for granted. bleh.
Its sad. My relationship with M has completly deteriorated. Theres nothing there anymore... just resentment and anger. I'll always love him because he gave my my gorgeous, loving son. Its not the same and it never will be. Im spending more time with my friends then with him. We havent been out together in forever. i cant even remeber. But i dont even want to spend time with him. He's so rude and spiteful to me. I cant stand him anymore. I cant stand the way i loathe him. It makes me feel so empty and horrible. Everyone deserves to be loved. He deserves to be loved no matter what and i cant give that ti him. I cant give give him what he needs. I am a strong, stubborn, intelligent, independent woman... he needs a door mat. I just want to start a new life with me and Azriel. I just want to be happy and respected and loved.... not taken for granted. bleh.