Wow. It sounds like you have gone through a lot in the past year. You are a strong person to pull through all that you have faced.
I don't know the whole story, but based on what I have read here, I think it might be unfair to write off your bio mother because of the jerk she is married. It sounds like she has had a rough life. If I were you, I would sit back and make yourself available for when she can comfortably contact you. Sounds like she is living with someone whom is very controlling and that has nothing to do with you, or how she might feel about you.
As for the comment about the abortion, I wouldn't take that personally. Going back to the hard times of your bio mom, it sounds like she didn't have much support in regards to the pregnancy. Plus, she doesn't even know you. She may only think of you as the baby that she was forced to give to someone else to raise. If anything, she helped you get out of a bad situation. She may not have been able to save herself from the abuse, but she was able to get you away from it. Imagine how life would be if that jerk she is married to raised you.
As for the parents that raised you, no one can 'replace' them. Allowing your bio parent(s) in your life now, does not erase the time your parents spent raising you. In adoption, families are bigger and more complex than 'traditional' families; don't confuse yourself by allowing only one set of parents in your life, instead be grateful for the love you receive. :)
I don't know the whole story, but based on what I have read here, I think it might be unfair to write off your bio mother because of the jerk she is married. It sounds like she has had a rough life. If I were you, I would sit back and make yourself available for when she can comfortably contact you. Sounds like she is living with someone whom is very controlling and that has nothing to do with you, or how she might feel about you.
As for the comment about the abortion, I wouldn't take that personally. Going back to the hard times of your bio mom, it sounds like she didn't have much support in regards to the pregnancy. Plus, she doesn't even know you. She may only think of you as the baby that she was forced to give to someone else to raise. If anything, she helped you get out of a bad situation. She may not have been able to save herself from the abuse, but she was able to get you away from it. Imagine how life would be if that jerk she is married to raised you.
As for the parents that raised you, no one can 'replace' them. Allowing your bio parent(s) in your life now, does not erase the time your parents spent raising you. In adoption, families are bigger and more complex than 'traditional' families; don't confuse yourself by allowing only one set of parents in your life, instead be grateful for the love you receive. :)
Therapy wouldn't be a bad idea either.
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