. : . i can't find the bottom . : .
this is deafinately not your mother fucking place.
there will be n0 more you, god damnit.
i'll never know what to do with all of this. i'm a selfish, incorrigible... stupid bitch. what am i going to do with all of this?
i can't sit here breathing him and ignoring him and taking care of him and fucking him and letting him want me and beating him pretending that if i just treat ONE of them differently that i can find my way again. i can't have any of it back.. but i can't stop groping for it. i fucking need it, i really need it. this is bound to end badly and i'll end up hating myself even more. so be it. this is what i live for, right?
"if i let you, you would make me destroy myself.. in order to survive you, i must first survive myself.. and i can sink no further and i cannot forgive you.. there's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you.. i've gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain.. i will use my mistakes against you.. there's no other choice. shameless now.. nameless now.. nothing now.. no one now.. but my soul must be iron.. cause my fear is naked, i'm naked and fearless and my fear is naked."
shit adds up at the bottom.