i read and reread your entire journal often- i have it printed out and in it's own neat little folder along with pictures of you and a letter from you.
i've never felt less in control in all of my life.. mostly because there are moments, dare i say- days even?- that i feel perfectly empowered and together and then i'm ripped apart by some unseen force.
no bullshit- the other night i dreamt that my mother sent you a check for twenty dollars in the mail because i died and my will had said i owed it to you. washing dishes the next day- being responsible and living my new life- i cried. i wondered if our friendship and all that implies is as concluded as it feels. i hope you still think of me and care for me as i you, regardless of our lack of communication. i hope you'll always love me, no matter how pregnant . grown up . married . responsible . lovely . medicated . cynical . bright eyed or selfless i become.
you make me possible, i hate that i wrote this much.. i hate that it's taken me an hour. i wish i could hug you.
1 . 775 . 323 . 4322
lindsay falkner 801 washington street reno, nevada 89503
i hate that i wrote that much.. it's stupid that it took an hour.
i've never felt less in control in all of my life.. mostly because there are moments, dare i say- days even?- that i feel perfectly empowered and together and then i'm ripped apart by some unseen force.
no bullshit- the other night i dreamt that my mother sent you a check for twenty dollars in the mail because i died and my will had said i owed it to you. washing dishes the next day- being responsible and living my new life- i cried. i wondered if our friendship and all that implies is as concluded as it feels. i hope you still think of me and care for me as i you, regardless of our lack of communication. i hope you'll always love me, no matter how pregnant . grown up . married . responsible . lovely . medicated . cynical . bright eyed or selfless i become.
you make me possible, i hate that i wrote this much.. i hate that it's taken me an hour. i wish i could hug you.
1 . 775 . 323 . 4322
lindsay falkner
801 washington street
reno, nevada
89503
i hate that i wrote that much.. it's stupid that it took an hour.
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