hmmm
you know that zen saying? mountain - no mountain - mountain?...if you know, you'll know..
picture a ship tied to a dock, and then a ship loose from its moorings. you can still see it, still hop on board and ashore, but it's free. It's not necessarily moving anywhere and you could even tie it up again...but the moorings are no longer obstacles, they are mere conveniences, and in themselves - they have nothing to do with either the ship or the shore.
I get these impulses..i'm not sure what it's called but i'm experiencing some odd phase that occurs when you have a new experience and then you look at things differently afterward. it happened like that after Katrina, though on a different scale. I come home to the same monotony and it feels as though something's changed, but everything appears the same - like that silly imprint on car mirrors, 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear'...anyway..it's magnified by distance, and by being with a dear friend, and by connecting spiritually with a child for a period of time. It's like I'm in a bubble and am trying desperately to tear out of it and need to scream. Soon school will start again and that will be the same...I go to work again in a couple days and that will be the same.
Suddenly everything i've done up to now seems like useless motions. i shouldn't say 'up to now'...because i still feel that way..quite intensely..not sure how to remedy the situation.
I am REALLY jet-lagged.
picture a ship tied to a dock, and then a ship loose from its moorings. you can still see it, still hop on board and ashore, but it's free. It's not necessarily moving anywhere and you could even tie it up again...but the moorings are no longer obstacles, they are mere conveniences, and in themselves - they have nothing to do with either the ship or the shore.
I get these impulses..i'm not sure what it's called but i'm experiencing some odd phase that occurs when you have a new experience and then you look at things differently afterward. it happened like that after Katrina, though on a different scale. I come home to the same monotony and it feels as though something's changed, but everything appears the same - like that silly imprint on car mirrors, 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear'...anyway..it's magnified by distance, and by being with a dear friend, and by connecting spiritually with a child for a period of time. It's like I'm in a bubble and am trying desperately to tear out of it and need to scream. Soon school will start again and that will be the same...I go to work again in a couple days and that will be the same.
Suddenly everything i've done up to now seems like useless motions. i shouldn't say 'up to now'...because i still feel that way..quite intensely..not sure how to remedy the situation.
I am REALLY jet-lagged.