Out of Sight
I've been less than cheey lately. I feel bad because I don't want to bring the people around me down, but it's a hard to repress situation. I was positively morose this weekend. It wasn't a bad weekend per se, just I did nothing that I planned to do and it was less than fulfilling in some aspects. No fault of Rob's I'd like to clarify.
Also I've had a weight on my mind for several months now. I have a friend that I feel like our once awesome relationship is exceptionally strained. Nothing really bad has happened, no major falling out. I just don't like the way it is or how I feel like I've been treated. It's just a bit out of sight out of mind, and I feel that I don't really want to discuss it with them for a number of reasons, One: I don't think they'll understand, Two: I prefer to have such conversations in person, Three: Will it really make any difference? Four: Maybe it's something that will work out through time.
I dunno, but it's left me in a constant unhappy place. I take my friendships very VERY seriously, that's why I have few people I would consider friends. They're not friends. It's too casual of a term. It's more chosen family. I know
skye_ds,
alabastard, and
alabastardragon would understand something like that because they're the same type of person. Especially considering I have no real family. I mean I have a mother and grandparents that I love and adore, but I've been very much on my own emotionally since I was 9.
I'm not really sure what to do about the situation. I'm generally an exceptionally outspoken person about my wants, needs and feelings. Everyone usually knows where they stand with me all the time. I just don't know how I want to correct this situation and I've been avoiding discussing it. I guess it boils down to it sucks to realize that you've put alot of emotion into any kind of relationship to realize it's not appreciated.
Also I've had a weight on my mind for several months now. I have a friend that I feel like our once awesome relationship is exceptionally strained. Nothing really bad has happened, no major falling out. I just don't like the way it is or how I feel like I've been treated. It's just a bit out of sight out of mind, and I feel that I don't really want to discuss it with them for a number of reasons, One: I don't think they'll understand, Two: I prefer to have such conversations in person, Three: Will it really make any difference? Four: Maybe it's something that will work out through time.
I dunno, but it's left me in a constant unhappy place. I take my friendships very VERY seriously, that's why I have few people I would consider friends. They're not friends. It's too casual of a term. It's more chosen family. I know
skye_ds,
alabastard, and
alabastardragon would understand something like that because they're the same type of person. Especially considering I have no real family. I mean I have a mother and grandparents that I love and adore, but I've been very much on my own emotionally since I was 9.
I'm not really sure what to do about the situation. I'm generally an exceptionally outspoken person about my wants, needs and feelings. Everyone usually knows where they stand with me all the time. I just don't know how I want to correct this situation and I've been avoiding discussing it. I guess it boils down to it sucks to realize that you've put alot of emotion into any kind of relationship to realize it's not appreciated.